WendyT

Why not move to the US, they pay for everything apparently, whatever you do dont move to Calgary or Edmonton, because it is to darn expensive here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax84U3df5lw&NR=1

www.members.shaw.ca/spudnewt/sierranaked.jpg

I'm surprised that you 2 made it this far . . . :wink:

You liked the cat, eh? Well you should see what my 3 yr old cat did, I just bought a new litter box, it cost me $169.58, its truly amazing, you never have to scoop again, the odor is way better, because there is NONE. This thing automatically scoops it into a compartment and because I have 2 cats, it will last probablly 2 weeks at least. Anyway when the cat steps out, it counts down from 20 and then it automatically pushes the crap underneath this compartment and then it's ready for the next cat. So when it starts, my blackjack stands on his hind quarters to watch this thing do its job, it rakes it through and back again. Watching him, it was really funny. This box is worth its price, ok its a little pricey, but my other cat, also male, 14 yrs old and has renal problems, so the litter box smelled horribly. This box is a god send. :wink:

Dear All, This year is almost at a close and I would just like to thank you all for the e-mails that have been sent. I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split £7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan. Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum. And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the Next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. Take care ...have a good one Love Wendy xxx ooo

DRUG OF CHOICE http://www.ugotgames.com/action/bubbles-2.php

My nephew who is mentally challenged, he's on number 13, so now I know what it feels like to be challenged mentally . :roll:

Thankyou for the wonderful stories, it made my saturday a wonderful day of fun and laughing experience. Eric was just plain excited, of course the spelling errors was really hard to grasp, until Dust asked him what language was that, I just lost it-dam that was funny. But there was a mixture of hilarity through out. You would think people were considerate to the fact you got hurt, that they made fun of you. Ok in some sense it would be, I guess you just had to be there. :roll: We need more embarssing moments other than you the pt. Would make a great compilation if someone wrote a book telling about Joe blow and his Misadventures, now that would be hilarious, dont you think?

This is a test for Smart People.....I have determined that you qualify. Don't cheat..good luck The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Did you say, open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which animal does not attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it? Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old. Send this out to frustrate all of your smart friends, I did and they call themselves; Professionals. lmao :wink: PS: Just the fact that I put it here for you should make you feel good. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eydawn, it's kinda hard now because its past 90 minutes and he cant fix it. :roll:

If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you.* This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he w as upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

that squished when

I'm very experienced, I used to babysit everybody's kid, from newborn upto 10 yrs of age. The neat part about it was that the parent's could go to work, go grocery shopping, appointments and not have to take Jr with them. So my job was to nuture them lovingly, feeding, changing-that was a stinky job and I was used to it, today I'm not so sure anymore, makes you wanna gag. :oops: The kids had lots of fun, so at the end of the day, you could hand them back. :wink: No worries there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRV1LLvYZmk

Are you stressed beyond measures, then this one's for you. Better yet wanna shoot him, commit him to the funny farm, then be my guest.

I get really bad mirgraines and puking is no fun and so this stuff really helps, my Doctor prescribed me this, works way better than this other gravol you buy over the counter. It does its job, thats for sure.

Terri, just to let you know the bear is single and seeking a relationship if you're interested? :wink:

Team Canada 2007 ~ British Columbia ~ About the competition: The ASIA PACIFIC INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE 2007 The SIMULATION CHALLENGE September 26 – 29 “Out of Hospital Care - Challenge your Boundaries” The Australian College of Ambulance Professionals in conjunction with the Journal of Emergency Medical Services (JEMS) will be holding the inaugural Australian challenge. The International Conference on pre Hospital Care and medical competition will be held at the Conrad Jupiter’s Hotel and Casino, at Broadbeach on Queensland’s Gold coast. This world class event will use high end simulations to demonstrate the best paramedic practice world wide. Countries expected to compete but not limited to are; Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore, New Zealand, Australia, the United States and Canada. The teams will consist of four paramedics, three to compete and one manager/spare. The protocols and procedures including drug regime will be the Australian College standards. Each event will be timed beginning on the Wednesday with five teams going through to the finals on Friday For more information please follow our link to the ACAP 2007 web site Clarke McGuire Team Canada 2007 Team Manager More info: http://www.ccm.com.au/acap/ http://www.teamcanada2007.com/

I own 2 video's on VHS-Mother, Jugs & Speed and Paramedics: starring George Newbern, that movie was done back in 1988. It has naked women in it, but its funny as hell. Two medics selling body parts to Satan's skull and the Big squid is supposed to die, but the medics tell this guy from Satan's skull, to work with them and he keeps telling the medics their lives hang in the balance and I like the saying, typically NOT paramedic material. This movie on VHS never was re-done, so you can't find it on DVD, only tape and its hard to come by.

29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”. Their magically deliscious :wink:

Did you buy your bags from ebay? I did . . .

I'm not complaining or bitching about a call, I'm the willing person here to attend every call as if it were my first. I'm the one with the bedside mannerism, even if it is a stubbed toe, I'm the one who is open to people, if you are hurting, then I understand the dilema you are going through. That is my job, I am here to care for you that is what I was trained to do.

As I said before about disposable uniforms and yes it can get expensive, but hey they are puke proof; :wink: so how about those kind you just clip on-front and back, like a paper doll.