DUMBEST THING EVER HEARD ON THE RADIO/SCANNER

[FormerEMSLT297]

DUMBEST THING A PATIENT EVER TOLD ME....

went on call late month June 2006..... reported 8 month old child burned ... MOM on scene I say how old is the child,,,, she says 8 months ... I ask,, whats his birthday,,,,, she says July xx, 2005,,,,, (I DO THE MATH)... I say so he is 11 months old... she says "NO 8 months old ,,, he was born 3 months premature....."........

HERE'S YOUR SIGN..... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[brentoli]

"Advise state highway to be enroute, have a television, big box, and baby stroller; with out the baby, on the side of the road."

Sorry for the bump, but I had to share that one.

[captainstandup]

There is virtually no HIPAA protection regarding information necessary to dispatch and respond to a call for assistance. Dispatchers are at full liberty to give a description of the chief complaint, your name and address when dispatching calls. The spirit of HIPAA is not to punish those trying to help you, its to prevent the intentional release for personal gain and or in an attempt to harm someone through the release of information,

[SSG G-man]

What started this was not too funny, but my drivers response was. My volunteer station and another were dispatched mutual aid to the next county for a motor vehicle accident. The road is a major rd with a state route number, but a name that changes several times.

My driver knew exactly where we were going. The other unit obviously was having some issues. After several calls by them to dispatch, our unit was asked to help them. We knew what rd they were currently on so my driver responds with:

Follow X rd to next stop light. Turn right and keep going until you see the the flashing lights and wrecked cars!!"

I about wet myself!! The other counties units finally got on the road and the other unit was cancelled, we continued in since we were closest unit still!

[Theguardian08]

During one of my shifts in police dispatch I was waiting for a call to come in when i hear over the fire radio:

"BEEP BEEP, Service call for tower-1 respond to (location) for an elderly woman with an object stuck in a tree"

I pick up the phone and call fire dispatch. Turns out the "object" was a cat

I just burst out laughing

------------------------------------------------

"Hospital this is ambulance-1 we have (pt info) any questions?"

"Uhh ambulance-1 no I dont Ill see you soon HEEHEE goodbye!"

[Katee]

Hahaha... 8)

http://dispatch.pinetownship.org:8081/2007...%2007-51-38.wav

(www.fire.pinetownship.org)

[gilesrescue386]

lets see, we have a frequent flyer that we pick up about 2-5 times a week. a typical report from dispatch goes something like this:

"Giles Fire Dispatch to all Giles Rescue, need units to respond to __________ for a 43 y/o F complaining of seizures *sigh* again. Be advised, you will need the bariatric stretcher for this patient.....correction. make that the new bariatric stretcher."

[WestSideBorderPatrol]

After Co 8 was alerted for a possible fire hazard on an apartment balcony....

Engine 814: "We're clear, just some homeowners gettin' their grill on"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a lengthy dissertation of patient information.....

Paramedic 6**: "....have an 18 gauge in the patients right arm at this time. Is there anything else you'd like me to do Trooper 1?"

Trooper 1: "Is lunch available?

lol

Paramedic 3**: ".....patient is in and out of consciousness with blood from the ears."

Trooper 1: "Sounds like a real medevac for a change"

Paramedic 3**: "That would be correct Daddy"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last night after Chief 5-2 cleared from an animal rescue.

Chief **"Chief ** clear"

"Chief ** MEOW, 20:31"

[swedbabe2002]

The service I train with has a dispatcher that has shown up to work drunk. This is was one of her heavily intoxicated nights.

Dispatcher (600): 6769 could you go to XXXstreet for.....

Truck 6744: Ah 600 we don't have a truck 6769, but we'll take that call

Dispatcher (600): Ah....OK...Thanks 6744

[ffemtdrew14]

state police car to the other state car responding to an incident on a tactical channel: "Watch the deer, what the deer...oh f**k!"

A few minuets after head in the background what sounded like another trooper on the phone, while another car was being dispatched, "What, he hit a deer?"