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THE_DITCH_DOCTOR

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    www.traumacentral.com
  1. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

  2. By the way how is your "friend" doing with her ETOH abuse issues?
  3. Suspend him, notify the state licensing or certifying board and local prosecutor. If found guilty then fire his sorry butt. I have no sympathy for thieves or addicts. They in no way deserve to be treated with kid gloves or be allowed to be put into a position of responsibility or where they could potentially easily feed their addiction. I don't believe "rehab" works for most people.
  4. You hear "Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead coming over the radio, and the dispatch center breaks in, demands the broadcasting vehicle to ID themselves, and the reply comes back, "Sorry Dispatch, 84-XX with a stuck mike". It's only funny if you happen to realize that the unit in question (not ID'ed for security reasons) is involved in drug interdiction for the county sheriff's department.
  5. Evan Bayh! About damn time we have another president from Indiana.
  6. 2. You watched the Pound Puppies. 7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom 8. Two words: Hammer Pants! 9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock" 11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales" (Woo ooh!) 12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. 14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen...and still know the turtles names. 15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. 22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF" 25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted. 26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf. 27. You took plastic lunch boxes to school... and traded Garbage Pail kids in the schoolyard. 28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets. 29. You still get the urge to say “NOT†after every sentence. 36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up" 37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates. 38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide. 41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement. 43. "Don't worry, be happy" 51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac. 54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART. 55. You just sang those words to yourself. 56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird. 66. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you? Dear Christ.....I'm 24 and I feel old.
  7. Yet another reason I'm glad I got away from that jurisdiction.
  8. Here's an interesting point- why is that we are so concerned about the loss of some punk 17 y/o who wrapped his supped up Mazda Miata around a tree while doing 110 mph trying act like he's something out of the fast and the furious and we hear the cries to stop teens from driving, but the loss of a 40 y/o who was driving unsafely (although not necessarily to the same degree, but since when did the small things like degree of the offense ever stop from me from pointing out hypocrisy) doesn't provoke the same outcry to put speed limiters on cars or mandate other safety features that could potentially save lives? I do agree that 18 is a suitable driving age, but I don't view the loss of a teenager or even of a carload of them as being any more of loss than the death of a 35 or 40 y/o who has a family, a job and contributes in some meaningful manner to society.
  9. This has been a topic of discussion in one of my classes at school- whether the elderly (due to normal decline in vision and response times, as well as various pathological processes) should be allowed to continue to drive. The reason behind this is on of the public safety golf carts on campus was struck by an elderly driver (luckily no one was hurt in the low-speed collision), who claimed that he did not see the BRIGHT WHITE golf cart with the FLASHING AMBER LIGHT on top of it in the intersection which is marked with two large "PEDESTRIAN CROSSING" signs, each with a FLASHING CAUTION LIGHT. This happened in the middle of the day, but this elderly gentleman apparently didn't realize they were there until he heard the "THUD" of the collision. I recall reading somewhere that while teenagers are more likely to kill themselves, or people in the same vehicle with them, that the elderly kill nearly as many people, most often pedestrians and persons in other vehicles. I'll try to find the article to back this up. Should people have their licenses restricted or revoked upon reaching a certain age? Should more frequent health checkups (vision tests specifically) be required? Should special exemption to continue to drive past the age of 65 be required? And, yes, I know this type of legislation would never get passed because of the legislative clout of organizations such as the AARP.
  10. Actually no, it makes you look like a "Ricky Rescue" who is only out for glory.
  11. Just heard on the radio station here during a football game: "That big ol' boy is good at finding holes and filling them up quick." I damn near puked I was laughing so hard.....
  12. Son of a b--ch, you're definitely total f--king right, a--hat (I don't really thinking you're an a--hat, more of a bastard (KIDDING!))
  13. Maybe MizzouMedic will remember this, but Boone County Missouri Station #1 had a very, uh, effeminate firefighter (he sounded like every stereotype of a gay man you can think of- imagine Big Gay Al from South Park) and he was driving the engine to a fire on Rainbow Trout Drive. He marks on scene with the following, "Dispatch, This is Engine 1, establishing Rainbow Command!"
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