Chief1C Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 we can be fired for just being gay You're speaking for yourself, you should be saying "I". Because, as an openly homosexual male, I wouldn't want *you* to represent *me* in any way, shape or form. I can think of another user that would make a great partner for you, because you both rank up there with the unnecessary dramatics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chbare Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 (edited) I had a lesbian partner and she was pretty cool. Her lover was a well respected nurse manager at another base. Both were open but not "flaming" and I don't recall any problems. They ended up moving to another state and getting married. They occasionally keep in touch. When I first started flying, a nurse at my base was bisexual. My wife and I went out with her and her female lover for a new years celebration at an interesting club. It was cool and we had fun. I think respect is a two way street. Just as many people are turned off by over the top "gay" behaviour, I think the same is absolutely true when it comes to some of the over the top sexist, "straight" behaviour. None of this belongs in the work place. I have no problem with somebody saying "I love you" to their mate, but unprofessional behaviour is just that. Ultimately, my experiences have been positive. It's a violent and ultimately depressing existence when considering the human condition. If you manage to find somebody good enough to put up with your schyte when in a relationship, they must be special and gender matters little IMHO. Of course, it would be pure hypocrisy of me to hate on gay people when my relationship with my wife could be considered an alternative lifestyle in some circles. (Large age difference. I'm a cub...) Take care, chbare. EDIT: "some" Edited May 17, 2011 by chbare Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DwayneEMTP Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I had a lesbian partner and she was pretty cool. Her lover was a well respected nurse manager at another base. Both were open but not "flaming" and I don't recall any problems. They ended up moving to another state and getting married. They occasionally keep in touch. When I first started flying, a nurse at my base was bisexual. My wife and I went out with her and her female lover for a new years celebration at an interesting club. It was cool and we had fun. I think respect is a two way street. Just as many people are turned off by over the top "gay" behaviour, I think the same is absolutely true when it comes to some of the over the top sexist, "straight" behaviour. None of this belongs in the work place. I have no problem with somebody saying "I love you" to their mate, but unprofessional behaviour is just that. Ultimately, my experiences have been positive. It's a violent and ultimately depressing existence when considering the human condition. If you manage to find somebody good enough to put up with your schyte when in a relationship, they must be special and gender matters little IMHO. Of course, it would be pure hypocrisy of me to hate on gay people when my relationship with my wife could be considered an alternative lifestyle in some circles. (Large age difference. I'm a cub...) Take care, chbare. EDIT: "some" Not your post, but this thread is getting a little harsh it seems....I don't see any reason to attack this person for their opinions. But on the flip side it irritates me to know that they are likely confident that it is because they claim to be gay that they are being roughly handled, not because of peoples feeling on the posted opinions. Good post Chris, unfortunately your non bigoted opinion seem unwelcome in the article. Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chappy Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Talking out of both sides of your mouth don't ya think? No, I don't think so. If a part of the job is wearing a uniform, then the applicant should be able to be uniform. If part of the job description is presenting a professional appearance, then the applicants should expect their appearance to be evaluated at the interview. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HERBIE1 Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Most of my experience working with gays was when I was a tech at an ER. In one place, depending on the shift, I as a hetero male- was the minority. Lesbians, gay men, bisexual doctors, nurses, staff- we had them all. We had great relationships with these folks- some were more flamboyant and open, others were not. One area I worked was heavily gay, as were many of our patients. The gays actually HATED dealing with the princesses, and drama queens more than I did- they said they made them look foolish. One guy-a nurse from India- was one of the funniest people I have ever met. Quick wit, brutal, and often ended his sharp tongued comments and barbs with- "Well, you know how us fags are", or- well, you're hetero- you don't get it. All in good fun, as no offense was intended or taken from it. As brash as he was, he was painfully shy when it came to his own interests. A new young male resident doc would arrive, and I would make a comment to the nurse- "hey- check out that guy"- without even knowing if the person was gay or not. He would become flustered, and if you want to see something funny, watch an Indian blush. One nurse- who simply could not decide if she was gay, straight, or bisexual- she was married to a man, partnered with a female, and played around with both sexes- and I hit it off. We'd go out for drinks after work(we had a great group of folks who were very tight), and we'd have these incredibly deep conversations on straight/gay issues for hours on end. She had a unique perspective on lifestyles. I don't think it's discriminatory to say that context is all important in this. If some heavily tatooed, multiple piercing, rainbow haired, or very flamboyant gay provider shows up in a rural area- or in the middle of a staunchly conservative area- it WILL raise some eyebrows. Is it right? Maybe not, but as an employer, I think you should have the right to set standards for appearance, comportment, and dress. They may be the best provider in the world, but perception is a huge part of this. Right or wrong, many people make judgements based on appearance, and if we are supposed to be serving the public, we should not be adding to the stress of the patient or their families, nor should we be a distraction. If that same provider showed up in a trendy/hip part of LA, Miami, NYC, or Chicago, their appearance may not even generate a second glance. Obviously as an employer you cannot hire providers to staff only areas comfortable with a strange looking provider, so a balance must be struck. Mandate certain hair standards(fire departments have done it forever, as do most businesses), maybe cover up tats, remove obvious piercings, etc. We are projecting an image, and are supposed to instill confidence and an air of professionalism. I see nothing wrong with limiting self expression in such cases. You have a job to do, and while you are working, it does not include expressing your personal habits and preferences, whatever they may be, or taking a stand on some issue. It's supposed to be about caring for patients and their families. Period. When was the last time you saw a doctor or other professional running around with gems in their earlobes, multiple facial piercings, multi colored hair, or flaunting their sexuality-whether it be straight or gay? Time and place. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chbare Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Not your post, but this thread is getting a little harsh it seems....I don't see any reason to attack this person for their opinions. But on the flip side it irritates me to know that they are likely confident that it is because they claim to be gay that they are being roughly handled, not because of peoples feeling on the posted opinions. Good post Chris, unfortunately your non bigoted opinion seem unwelcome in the article. Dwayne Yeah, EMS is such an intimate and personal experience, I do not think isolating a group of people for said article is a good idea. In that I mean EMS is unique in that you are spending a significant amount of time living with your partner. For example, I worked 10 shifts a month with my lesbian partner. That is at least 240 hours a month living with somebody. Then, somebody wants to do an article and leave my part of the equation out of it? Take care, chbare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Plain Ruff Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 (edited) So you are claiming that straight people do not bring any drama to the job ? WROOOOONNNNNGGGGG ! You have never worked with a female EMT who just broke up with her soulmate, the fireman/emt that just discovered his wife is doing a guy at another station, arguements over race, religion, politics, abortion, illegal aliens. . Wow, that sounds like this site sometimes!!!!!! Edited May 17, 2011 by Ruffems Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flamingemt2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 Ok, I am the bad guy, great. Let's walk through a little scenario that i think most of you have been through: It is Christmas or Thanksgiving at the station and we all have to work. We decide to have a feast with our families and loved ones, so we all bring a dish and cook a huge feast, and have a grand old time. Now it is over and time for everyone to go home, Dwayne gives his wife or girlfriend a nice kiss on the lips as she leaves the station, no big deal. I give my man a kiss on the lips, still no big deal ? What if your kids are there, still no big deal ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chbare Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Ok, I am the bad guy, great. Let's walk through a little scenario that i think most of you have been through: It is Christmas or Thanksgiving at the station and we all have to work. We decide to have a feast with our families and loved ones, so we all bring a dish and cook a huge feast, and have a grand old time. Now it is over and time for everyone to go home, Dwayne gives his wife or girlfriend a nice kiss on the lips as she leaves the station, no big deal. I give my man a kiss on the lips, still no big deal ? What if your kids are there, still no big deal ? No big deal to me; however, I do not kiss or show much affection toward my wife at work. I do not have children and cannot have children, therefore the second question is inane when considering my life situation. Take care, chbare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hatelilpeepees Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 (edited) If I am going to be honest, I have to admit that I would rather not explain to my children why Adam and Steve are sucking face, but at the same time I realize this is my short-coming, not the gay guys. Strange that in this society, two men french kissing in public is considered abnormal, but watching someone get ax-murdered on TV or in a movie is normal. But let me ask everyone this, this is the time of year that alot of fire departments do boot drives for various charities, or may even participate in things like Relay for Life, special olympics, or some type of camp for disabled kids, while wearing your department's uniform. If the same people wore their uniform to a gay pride rally, would they be fired ???? Most definitely. Edited May 21, 2011 by hatelilpeepees Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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