We are toned out for 94 year old female, fall victim, facial injuries, laceration. It was one of those bad gravity days. We had run on fall victim after fall victim. I always shudder at these. Of all the indignities of old age, this is one I had never considered – the inability to negotiate your world; the dangers people face in undertaking the simplest of everyday tasks; the courage it takes to just go to the bathroom.
My patient is in her bed. She lives in a nursing home; one of the good ones. The home is clean and well ordered; it actually smells good. Her room-mate lies on a floor level sleeping pad, wracked with contractures. The room-mate's face is averted: she strains to shift her eyes towards me. Her mouth opens and closes spasmodically.
I turn my attention to the patient. A caregiver sits on the edge of her bed and relates the mishap. The patient had tipped from a sitting position on the edge of the bed, hitting her face on her room-mate's bed frame.
The patient has the “skull pushing out of the face” appearance of the very old and the very ill. Her cheekbones jut out of her skin, eyes huge in their sunken frames, high, narrow nose, square jaw. Her face is etched with deep farrows and wrinkles; her hair is long, thick and gray. The patient suffers from dementia. My efforts to communicate are met with limited success.
Assessment is quick, decisions are made, precautions taken. The patient is lifted onto the gurney and moved into the ambulance. We head for the hospital. All business taken care of, I reach for an ice pack, folding it into I towel.
I explain that I would like to apply the ice pack to her forehead. She quietly turns her face towards me and trustingly waits. I gently apply the ice. Holding this ice against her face, in the dark, morning hours away, I am struck again with the “rightness” of what I am doing. This is what this job is about – not the technical skills, the flash of the procedures, the egos and infighting. It boils down to two people, one hurting and helpless, the other privileged to be able to help.
The patient puts her hand against my wrist. In a quiet voice she states “too cold”. I remove the compress. I wait a few minutes, then say “lets try it again for a few minutes”. Again, she assents. I hold the ice for a few minutes, then remove it. We sit in the silence as the ambulance makes its way to the hospital, she on her gurney, me on the bench.
Then it starts. From deep within her, almost a moaning, a soft, rhythmic chanting. At first I am not sure of what I am hearing. I lean closer to her and I hear a song. It is an ancient American Indian song, the cadences older than time. In her singing, I hear of tragedy and joy, life and death, inexpressible morning and the triumph of the human spirit. It raises the hair on my arms; this gift of her song. We sit in the night, heading for the hospital, she singing and I listening.