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DUMBEST THING EVER HEARD ON THE RADIO/SCANNER


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"We've got a Flopper at the Whopper"...

i.e. Seizure at Burger King. That one was good...

or even better:

Late PM shift, police dispatcher somehow keys up her radio and throws a dead key. After a couple of mins, they start talking.

"Wow! Its really f^%$##* dead out there. Those a$$*&^($ must be out at the tittie bar!"

Funny thing, nobody called them on the phone for another good 5 min. while they continued to bad mouth every cop, one by one.

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Just a few minutes ago, I heard the following on the sheriff's dept frequency: "Unit 89, Unit 74, respond to Walmart on a report of a 10-10 verbal (argument) between a woman and a seven year old

That must be why the NYPD, FDNY, and FDNY EMS refer to someone as "Being Under", as opposed to "Under Arrest", so we don't get erroneous calls for prisoners whose (alleged) hearts are still beating.

I left my handheld radio in the restroom at the emergency department. I realized it on the way back to the station and I had just mentioned that I had left my radio at the ER and he asked where in the ER I left it. About that time we heard a toilet flush over the radio and I told him "there it is!" I found out later that it was actually a dispatcher in the restroom with a handheld. She asked me if I had heard any additional background noise.

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Heard this one today:

Dispatch: Medic 2, are you in service?

M-2: Affirmative, marked in at 17:22.

Dispatch: Clear. I need you to start emergant for Hooverwood.

M-2: Uh....Negative, dispatch. We have a patient on board.

And then there was this one. It has been a few years ago.

Dispatch: Ambulance 9, 123 Main Street, in the XYZ Apartments. Possible suicide, woman with a gun. Stage away from the scene.

Amb. 9: Dispatch, we are clear. Show us on-scene, staging at the funeral home.

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We had an ambulance get stolen a few years back, by an escaped psych patient from the ward. Drove a few miles down the road to a church. We followed him for awhile until PD could pick up the "chase" (25 mph). During the trip...crazy man found the radio...

Crazy Man "Stop followin meeeee"

Disp: Ummm, unit calling?

Crazy man: Leave me alone...i need to see the cardinal!

Disp: This is an emergency band sir, we have no cardinals...

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Was listening to a call on our service earlier tonight. The EMT-I was speaking very quickly while giving a report over the radio. "Hospital, XXXXXX1, we are in route to your facility with a 86 y/o fe who's chief complaint is rectal breathing. ETA is 2 min."

:oops: He ment to say rectal bleeding... :D

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Unit 222 please respond to XXX Madison St. for the male..... with ..... ah.... um....... cucumber...... ah..... Oh just respond and do your job you'll find out when you get there..

The male party had an 11 inch cucumber lodged in his rectum... which required a 5 hour surgical removal.

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Unit 222 please respond to XXX Madison St. for the male..... with ..... ah.... um....... cucumber...... ah..... Oh just respond and do your job you'll find out when you get there..
I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there.
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