hammerpcp

What news about abortions are you referring to?

[align=center:2d49de21fa]A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!" The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front a growing crowd of customers. The manager goes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the toaster, and he tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming "PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!" And doing so draws and even bigger crowd! In shock, the store manager pleads "Ma'am, why are you saying that?" In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'm being SCREWED!!" The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded[/align:2d49de21fa]

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary. Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop thatsparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded Two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,. right?!!! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best..... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION @!@$$!%!@*!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative. SON-OF-A-.. that hurt like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles? I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.

I don't get it.

For all of you childless people out there (like me) I find small children are very similar to dogs. Be assertive, but kind. Reward good behaviour, discourage bad. Tickle their belly and call them by name. If they run away put them on a leash...Hahaha

With given information it does sound like cardiac tamponade. What caused it? Is it at all related to the Ca? Perhaps vascular tumor rupture? I have no idea.

I think if a "helmet in the vehicle" rule was implemented, compliance would be very low. People don't even wear their helmets at MVC's unless there is a sup present. As far as improving the trucks safety, nothing will be done until someone dies. That is the Canadian way.

Don't worry too much about burn out. Burn out is characterized by cynicism, and it is contagious. Your preceptor for example. Spending too much time with him is far more likely to affect you negatively then being kind to a patient. One does not become burnt out by showing compassion and a positive attitude. In fact that may be the best way to fend it off.

Yes this is not an uncommon situation, but we as a profession should not learn to accept it as the norm. The public is generally unaware of the substandard treatment waiting for them when they are too frail to tend to themselves. Otherwise somtething would be done about it. Write them up. We are in the best position to instigate change.

This thread is scaring me. :shock: We are forbidden to carry zip ties.

Very entertaining story. Thank you for sharing. Well written also, ever think of wirtting a book?

I've got Dakotas, boots and shoes for summer. Shoes have a zipper so I can take them off to sleep (on the reare occasion), very nice feature.

Maybe in your country, although I doubt that is the sole reason. Here the amount of field experience accepted applicants have is vast compared to Joe MD that's never even done CPR before entering school. This means that you not only have to be the top of your class through high school and university, but that you must pursue animal related extra curricular activities practically from childhood. Have you looked into vet school? I'm sure if yo do you will see my point.

If admission requirements to school are any indication of intelligence than yes, vets are much smarter than people docs. It is much more difficult to get into veterinary school than med school, thus those who are admitted an do succeed are the best of the best. :munky2: :dog: :duckie: :bunny: :cat: :grommit: :kermit: :snorting: BTW dogs are a single species, perhaps you ment different breeds? :wink: Or the canine family?

I think that being a lifeguard at 16 is to young, never mind a paramedic (or emt whatever).

What do you mean exactly when you say posturing was distonic. From what I know distonia is twisting of the limbs and spasmodic movement, it doesn't describe one particular position/posture. Please enlighten me.

That sounds like a very difficult system to work within. As if our jobs are not already enough of a gray area, you have interagency/interfacility politics and complicated procedures do deal with. Not knowing the legalities etc. of your system I will just have to go with the common sense answer. This pt does sound septic but he is not decompensating, so a quick trip to the ER with a BLS crew will not be detrimental to him, and ALS could not do any real interventions for him anyway.

The boy who cried wolf anyone? Anyway, if she is drug seeking you really aren't doing her any favours by enabling that addiction. It is the hospitals/ems workers responsibility to control controlled substances.

[quote="aussie_rn Here we have a "pain protocol" towards giving morphine where it is titrated until the patient's pain is under control, I've given up to 60mg (over several hrs) of morphine to a patient with pancreatitis, and surprisingly the patient was still able to walk around (much to my dislike) and not have have any other side effects from the high dosage!

Ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!

60 yo male pt. sudden onset of pain at rest. hx htn, angina. no trauma. no discolouration /deformity. tachycardic 130 bp 164/90 resps 22 lungs clear all fields pt denies SOB does that help?

Pt is shocky looking with a chief complaint of "my balls are killing". What are you thinking?

Please allow me to take things out of context to illustrate my opinions. :wink:

That's what I'd do. Love isn't enough. If you can't even address your concerns with him, without being made into the"guilty party", that's a big problem right there. Don't settle, you're letting yourself down. And even though it doesn't feel like it all the time, you will be fine with or with out him. take care, I hope you work it out one way or another.

how about hair spray? It works great for attaching the rubber grips on bike handles. we use red dots electrodes and the pt has to be very diaphoretic for those not to stick. except theystick to everything including your gloves. are you talking about the defib pads not sticking? i ve never had that problem but that would be a problem indeed. the machine wont do anything if there is poor c0ontact or movement.