Kermit?

[Britpara]

Whats red and white and sits in a tree?

A sanitary owl.

[mrmeaner]

What's the worst thing about eating vegetables?

Getting them back in the wheelchair.

[BLAEMTP]

Do you know what is better than winning a GOLD medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded!

[WestSideBorderPatrol]

How can you tell if a redneck girl is a virgin?

She can run faster than her brothers

[WendyT]

'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse.

'Cuzz the cat had pounced on him And tore him apart - Ate his mouse intestines And chewed up his heart.

Kitty thought he heard sleighbells, Which made him take pause - He stopped daintily licking The blood from his claws.

"Must be Santa," thought Kitty (That quite clever cat) 'Cuz nobody else climbs down The chimney like that.

Indeed it was ol' Santa So jolly and fat With a huge load of presents And all for the cat!

"Wow, the best Christmas ever!" Kitty thought with a purr, Then he coughed up a hairball

________________________________________________________________________

14 things that PMS stands for

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly - Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

13. Potential Murder Suspect

14.Putting up with Men's shit

[CoyoteMedic]

:kermit:

[mrmeaner]

14 things that PMS stands for

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly - Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

13. Potential Murder Suspect

14.Putting up with Men's shit

Also,

15. Pre-Murder Syndrome

16. Pretty Much Satan

17. Pregnant Minus Sanity