The Best Chief Complaint

[MCAD_621]

17 year old male came to the ER with his dad, pt. was chewing on a butane lighter when it exploded in his mouth.V/S are good O2 sats are 99 on room air,poison control was contacted for advice.Pt. was discharged with a minor burn on his toung.

[JackMaga]

Once a 20yo girl came to the ER because she wanted us to check if she was virgin or not! :roll:

[angelbaby1414]

[/font:257c0cba91] A few come to mind;

The 20ish male, very, very violent who claimed that aliens were trying to get into his head. I know we are not supposed to play into their hallucinations, but the only way I could keep us all safe was to tell him my ambulance had a force field around it to keep the aliens out. We had a calm ride after that.

Had the 50ish female who called us at 3AM to massage the charley horse in her leg!!

And in the ER:

A 20ish F who claims she was stuck in an elevator for 30 minutes, THE DAY BEFORE, and it was scary, so she wanted to be checked out today.

And the F who came into complaining of foot fungus that she had been suffering from for over 3 years!

You just can't make this stuff up!

[Imagine89]

"sir how are you feeling today? what seems to be the problem"

"well...I had a really bad headache that went away yesterday"

"Do you want to go to the hospital"

"nah"

"..."

[notsobrite]

Had a patient that didnt want to leave his nursing home room. Combative. usually cooperative. Kept saying that he had to pee. We lured pt to the truck by giving him a urinal and telling him that he couldnt use it until he got to the hospital. Lovely.

[andymascall]

Two calls come to mind -

1. Call to peel an old mans orange he was trying to eat.

2. Call to programme a VCR that the guy had received as a christmas present - on questioning the validity of the call - his comment was - "well you are a public servant - serve me"

He promptly got told where he could put his VCR!!!!! :twisted:

Andy

[GAmedic1506]

i got roaches in my liver (cirrhosis of the liver).

[windsong]

I have a kink on the right side of my neck and my back (shoulder blade) the pain is really bad but you wont expect a call anytime soon unless I OD on the muscle relaxants I have.

I cannot believe what these people are thinking, can you not swear, kick the garbage can, throw a temper tantrum?

Our EMS tell ppl here if your having difficulty still, you could always call us back and we will try to hurry them up.

Really? I guess the emergency isnt really that bad-or the medics who came to a guy unconscious on the major road here, turned out he was so drunk that the best place for him to pass out was right where he dropped-on the shoulder of the road.

[MedicCallie]

Dispatched for 22 y/o with "chest pains".

Arrive on scene AT A BAR and find the pt sitting on the curb outside. His chief complaint? HICCUPS!

[TechMedic05]

Not sure if it quite fits: While working with a FD -

Called to the residence to install a smoke detector. That's legit --> Next week - Called the ambulance to help her rearrange furniture.

While working at an amusement park -

"My son's feet smell, do you have anything for that?"

"Do you have anything for dandruff?"