MAGICFITZPATRICK

In my opinion this has to be one of the "best" written threads I have ever see on EMT CITY.I can use just about everything from every one of these posts.

In nyc I see them in the EDs all the time.They seem friendly and well groomed.....and they have those snazzy EZ-PROs Stryker Stretchers.

The First Law of EMS: All emergency calls will wait until you begin to eat, without regard to the time. The Law of Time: 1. There is absolutely no relationship between the time at which you are supposed to get off shift and the time at which you will get off shift. The Law of Gravity: Any instrument, when dropped, will always come to rest in the least accessible place possible The Law of Time Versus Distance: The distance of the call from the Hospital increases as the time to shift change decreases The Rule of Random Syncronicity: Emergency calls will randomly come in all at once. The Law of Respiratory Arrest: All patients who are vomiting and must be intubated will have just completed a large meal of Barbecue and Onions, Garlic Pizza, and Pickled Herring, all of which was washed down with at least three cans of Beer. The Basic Principle for Dispatchers: Assume that all field personnel are idiots until their actions prove your assumption. The Basic Principle for Field Personnel: Assume that all dispatchers are idiots until their actions prove your assumption. The Axiom of Late Night Runs: If you respond to any Motor Vehicle Accident call after Midnight and do not find a drunk on the scene, keep looking: somebody is still missing. The Law of Options: Any patient, when given the option of either going to Jail or going to the Hospital by a Police Officer, will always be inside the Ambulance before you are. The Other Rules of Equipment: Interchangeable parts don't Leak proof seals will Self-starters won't. The First Law of Ambulance Operation: No matter how fast you drive the Ambulance when responding to a call, it will never be fast enough, until you pass a Police Cruiser, at which point it will be entirely too fast. Unless you are responding to an"Officer Down" call then it is physically impossible to be travelling fast enough! EMS Bathroom Rules: If a call is received between 0500 and 0700, the location of the call will always be in a Bathroom. If you have just gone to the Bathroom, no call will be received. If you have not just gone to the Bathroom, you will soon regret it. The probability of receiving a run increases proportionally to the time elapsed since last going to the Bathroom The Law of Triage: In any accident, the degree of injury suffered by a patient is inversely proportional to the amount and volume of agonized screaming produced by that patient. The Gross Injury Law: Any injury, the sight of which makes you want to puke, should immediately be covered by 4x4's and Kerlix The Law of Light: As the seriousness of any given injury increases, the availability of light to examine that injury decreases The Law of Space: The amount of space which is needed to work on a patient varies inversely with the amount of space which is available to work on that patient. EMS Relativity: The number of distraught and uncooperative relatives surrounding any given patient varies exponentially with the seriousness of the patient's illness or injury. The Theory of Weight: The weight of the patient that you are about to transport increases exponentially by the number of floors which must be ascended to reach the patient and the number of floors which must be descended while carrying the patient. Corollary 1: Very heavy patients tend to gravitate toward locations which are furthest from mean sea level. Corollary 2: If the patient is heavy, the elevator is broken, and the lights in the stairwell are out The Rule of Warning Devices Any Ambulance, whether it is responding to a call or traveling to a Hospital, with Lights and Siren, will be totally ignored by all motorists, pedestrians, and dogs which may be found in or near the roads along its route. Corollary 1: Ambulance Sirens can cause acute and total, but transient, deafness. Corollary 2: Ambulance Lights can cause acute and total, but transient, blindness. The Law of Rules: As soon as an EMS Rule is accepted as absolute, an exception to that Rule will immediately occur.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!! This is why I love this board.Now I understand what the saying means ............ (Welcome to the brother/sister hood of EMS.)

Yes this is what Im talking about...more pleas. ....yes I have to say how I found the Pt.They start us off in transport first.They want to see if you can handel (fragile eggs).I transport the oldest sickest people out of E Rs to either nursing homes or hospice care.They die very easily if not properly transported. They want anal reporting on the comments part.They told me....if you didn't write it you didn't do it.

NYC protocols...2 breaths and start yer CPR......call for back up it's going to be a long night.

I'm still not confident in my comments section of my ACR writing.I was looking for some examples of generic Comment structures......or if anyone would like to tell me how they learned how to write the comments section. Does any one know of an ACR writing link?My ACR's are 95% check boxes.I'm just trying to get a nice narrative down in my comments.This is how I would write a sample ACR(below).With each Patient I would change some of the info.I'm looking for a better skeleton structure.Give me all your tips and thought process on how you approach you comments section. Example 60 y/o male found in hospital bed with rails up awaiting txp to xyz nursing home Pt states no chief complaints Pt is stable at this time PE revels + ABC -SOB - JVD +PEARL =L/S =B/L - ABD pain SND NTxQUADS + PMSx4 EXT - BLEEDING - ECCHYMOSIS - EDEMA TXP pt in POC WOI to nursing home Sorry I could now make the actual circles around the + and - for you.

I see them at the E R all the time.They say that you start off with low pay but if you work OT you can get a fatter paycheck.One guy said he made about $40.000 give or take his first year.He also said ''I was so burnt out I all most quite"...he didn't want to say no for the fear of getting fired. P.S He was just a random FDNY-EMT I bumped into so I don't know if he was blowing smoke up my #$@

Thank for that link! Great blog.

This story makes me sick :oops:

This story makes me sick :oops:

AHHHHHHH HAHAAH You are so right on that one.

You can do no wrong in my eyes...You are NYC EMS!!!

EMS may not be the right line of work for you.

Looks like someone needs a diaper change.

A woman pleaded guilty Tuesday to swinging her 4-week-old son like a bat to hit her boyfriend during a fight, fracturing the infant's skull in the process. How would you react to this call.....read the rest!

You know they will be telling this story to the grand kids. Gotta love EMS

THANK YOU FOR THAT POST!

I get that same feeling!

Bring in hypodermic needles.Ask them if they want shots!!!!! :twisted:

LECTURE FROM NYC PARAMEDICS[/font:632ac3f791] this might bore some of you...some might like it

Im so happy I read that!That just made my day.