chazmedic

"Really, it's the flu. Not a hangover" Saw this a couple of years ago at a state EMS convention for sale. Had a big 'ol star of life on the front and back and had the "Top Ten Lies Told By EMT's" on the back. Other gems included: "Yeah I'm good starting IV's." "It's the road, not my driving" "I have to remove your clothes to assess your lungs sounds" "Why I cleaned the back of the ambulance just this morning" It was right next to the "Redneck EMS", "Big Johnson EMS", and the "Co-Ed Naked EMS" shirt. "Only the tough, code blue in the buff" Give me my raise now!

Another way to think about it: how would YOU want YOUR grandmother treated? Most elderly call us because they honestly don't know what to do and Fire and EMS has sold itself to the public as "the problem-solvers". Granted I have had my share of the BS where the person is only calling for attention or because they've fallen again and really should be in a nursing home. But most of them really think they're having an emergency and "those nice boys and girls from the Fire Department and the nice Ambulance Drivers came over and helped." If you want to put in a program like this, staff more field units and put in ALS response/assessment cars with a Paramedic. The res/assess could go and determine more what is needed (call their doctor, order in a transport, begin the code). The Priority Dispatch system is good, but not perfect. You're trying to assess over the phone. The caller probably doesn't understand. I used to dispatch this system and discovered you could lead the caller in the questioning. Plus, the dispatcher is taught that they can in a two day course assess over the phone better than you can in person after going to a class for 1200 hours. BTW, our dispatchers are paid more than the paramedics. I love a fair and just world. Just my rant.

Remember, this is the Humor forum. And now: "I'm clear, you'r...oops....my bad." Chazzer

EMS quotes: "EMT: Elvis Museum Trinket" "EMT: Every Manual Task" "Paramedic: French for God" "You can't spell PROBLEMS without EMS!" Non-EMS quotes: "Keep honking, I'm reloading"! "Keep honking, you're easier to track that way" "Warning: I'm currently in an alternate dimension." And my all time fave: "Your head is so far up your ass, that lump in your throat has got to be your nose!" Chazzer

Magnum condoms, roll of tape, bungee cords, tube of KY, coffee filters, a box of ammo, a TV dinner, and ask the clerk if the garden section has any bags of lime.

I've had my bell rung a couple of times. Here's the worst (and it was intentionally caused): Had a new EMT with a huge attitude driving one day. She watched in the rear view mirror, and waited until she say me move around, lean over, and reach for something, then slam on the brakes. Threw me up into the front cabinets then down into the door well backward. Just about knocked me out. She claimed someone pulled out in front of hear. But I remembered seeing her eyes in the rear view just before. After awhile a few other medics reported similar experiences. We all had one thing in common. We wouldn't let her run the calls (she EMT, we medics). Weeks later she admitted to a co worker who was dating her she was doing it to show "who was boss".

I have a good friend that is a cobbler who does extensive leather work. I'll ask him what he thinks it could be. I know from hanging out in his shop there are several chemicals used in leather work. Dyes, glues, solvents, and what not. Any of these could cause health issues and reactions. His last assistant had to quit after she became pregnant because of the chemicals and the harm they could cause the fetus. Also, leather is a natural product. It could simply be a allergic reaction.

No pick up?

We currently have AMR breathing down our necks. Our service was in the process of reorganizing into a public utility model. They showed up and set up shop wanting to do transfers and bid for the PUM. All government entities backed out of the PUM idea because they didn't want to get rid of us, just reorganize the board of directors and the funding process. Now everyone is to afraid to do anything, the entire system is stalling out. We're kinda in limbo. The county underwrites the loans for replacing the units. Now, the county doesn't want to buy new trucks because they don't know if AMR will try a take over. Meanwhile, our replacement program has ground to a halt because we can't get the county to underwrite the loans. It's a giant circular arguement. The overseeing committee and the county claims AMR has destabilized the existing system. It appears they are right. Maybe that's how they'll take over.

3 am. Called for a guy who had a cigarette lighter stuck in his anus. Why was a cigarette lighter stuck in his anus you ask? Because he had been found guilty of something and had a 40 day stay in the county jail. They don't allow tobacco in the jail. Quote time: "I could get $10.00 for the lighter and $2.00 a cigarette." Ah yes, our boy was a highly refined smuggler of prohibited goods. Bringing joy to cons everywhere. When he got there, the jail was overcrowded so they just released him with a fine. It's now 12 hours later and he wants the lighter out. At the hospital, X rays revealed...no lighter. He forgot to mention the big poop earlier that eveing. And yes, we asked him that one. I always wondered where the cigarettes were hidden. "Hey man, these don't taste like menthols!"

My service has been facing a "reorganization" for the past year. We serve a county of 160,000 residents (not counting the cities), one large city of 68,000 residents and 8 small towns with a combined total of 25,000 residents. Roughly 253,000 residents spread out over 1200 square miles. So you end up with three groups interested in this. One idea was a Public Utility Model. That is now dead. Second, was a City/County Committee. Terminal coma. Enter AMR wanting to take over. Panic by us, the county, and small towns. The big city starts saying that their going to do whatever they want. "Screw you guys. I'm going home." The county judge and the small towns then propose a "interlocal agreement" with the big city. Then suddenly...this: :shock: ëIn the broken phaseí BY ADAM WALLWORTH Northwest Arkansas Times Posted on Saturday, July 29, 2006 URL: http://www.nwanews.com/nwat/News/43250/ Washington County Judge Jerry Hunton made his argument Friday for bailing out the failing Central Emergency Medical Services. Speaking to four mayors at a meeting of the county’s Intergovernmental Cooperation Council, Hunton said the ambulance service, which serves most of the county, is in worse shape than he thought it was when he began looking into it a year ago. “ I think we’re already in the broken phase of this thing, ” Hunton said. Mayors Dan Coody of Fayetteville, Sonny Hudson of Prairie Grove, Dick Long of Johnson and Henry Buchanan of Lincoln were receptive to Hunton’s proposal to work together to find a solution for providing ambulance service in the county. A joint committee made up of members of the Fayetteville City Council and Washington County Quorum Court have been looking at options for providing a long-term solution to ambulance service in the county. The group has been discussing the possibility of creating an interlocal agreement to run the service and establishing a per-resident tax to fund it. During the last committee meeting, members discussed a potential tax of $ 10 per person for the cities, with the county chipping in $ 15 per person. Fayetteville’s representatives were not receptive to the prospect of increasing the city’s subsidy of the service from $ 250, 000 to $ 670, 000. Hunton said he wanted to bring the mayors into the conversation because the committee is not making much progress. He said he supports creating the interlocal agreement, which would include replacing the Central EMS board of directors with a three-member committee, which would represent Fayetteville, the county and the small towns. The option of asking companies to bid on the service right now is something Hunton opposes. He said he is biased toward Central EMS because it is a local company and he wouldn’t trust private companies’ bids for the service unless Central EMS could also bid. However, Hunton said, because of existing debt, capital needs and other financial difficulties, Central EMS would not be able to bid on the service right now. He said he would like to see the governments bail out Central EMS and wait until this time next year before deciding whether to request bids on the service. Hunton said helping Central EMS become financially stable would bring honesty to any bidding process that may occur. Coody said that in light of budgetary issues, such as salary and benefit increases that could come out of an ongoing compensation study, the city is sensitive to the potential costs of the partnership. He said that while he supports working with the other communities and county, there is a concern about the potential subsidy. Hugh Earnest, a consultant working on the ambulance service, presented the group with updated estimates of the per-person tax, which included a $ 550, 000 contribution from the county, which reflects the $ 15-per-person charge. The schedule included potential revenue that could be generated by a $ 3 to $ 7 charge, based on population estimates from the Northwest Arkansas Regional Planning Commission. The schedule showed Fayetteville with a population of 69, 000, which would result in an annual charge of $ 207, 000 to $ 483, 000. Long supported helping Central EMS and wanted more information on how much it would take to cover the service, as well as capital needs and debt. Earnest said that while there is not an official budget estimate for next year, it would likely take around $ 4 per person, though that would not include debt. Debt reduction could likely cost another $ 1 per person, he said. Coody said that while he might support the interlocal agreement, he would not support only focusing on saving Central EMS because there can be no “ sacred cows. ” Any bids can be rejected, Coody said, but it may be possible to get more financially sustainable ambulance service from a different provider. Earnest will present a memo of what the interlocal agreement would entail to the Fayetteville City Council at its Aug. 15 meeting. Copyright © 2001-2006 Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, Inc. All rights reserved. Contact: webmaster@nwanews.com I think we're screwed. This is the first any employees have heard this. Two days prior to this coming out we had a staff meeting where we were told everything is fine, we're just in a holding pattern.

Ridryder 911...I love you, man! Your the sh*t! Take my wife (please, she's very demanding). I think I started this thread because I am very tired today. Of everything right now. My former regular partner (EMT) was great. Self-starter, loved to work, knew his sh*t. But, he moved to a bigger, better paying service. So, for the past 2 months I've been getting floaters. And yes, that could mean several things. In the past 2 weeks, I've had 4 critical calls where my partner was nothing more than a driver to me. The last call was a 15 month old that had been ran over. I had two of these EMT's there and I still felt like I was totally by myself until the supervisor showed up. Neither one could even find the IV supplies in the pedi trauma kit. Fortunately, she is fine today. But still, with my old partner it would have been a lot smoother. The guy I'm working with today I noticed wasn't even pushing the cot down the hallway. The patient was a 300 pounder on his way to an open MRI (I wonder why) and I was up front pulling. I noticed it was getting really hard and I thought "wow, this guy must be over 300." That's when I noticed. He didn't know to push the cot!! I get a new partner next month. Great guy. Things should be better. He's a little younger than me, but he has worked for a living. Used to be a ranch hand, house builder, currently a firefighter (we're both on a peak time truck, which means we're considered part-time by management. Kinda like working at Wal-I'llstoprightthere). I've worked with him on the ambulance before and I can tell he's more motivated. Self-starting. Does the job. I was just wondering if anyone else had seen a pattern with the younger generation in this field? Okay, okay. I'm finished ranting. 1 hour to end of shift and a nice cold beer.

Okay, I'll stop. I don't really have time to research this from previous posts (like I don't have time to cut and paste a lot of sticker slogans and crap) so I'll take your word for it. Mostly 'cause you seem nice and I like that. So I'll just go back to beating them with the Maglight and saying they fell...a lot. :shock:

Just do like Beagle and throw the patient out the window to the waiting cot below. And hope his aim is on.

Don't care. This is my thread. Fire away, people!

This one is aimed at paramedics (or lead EMT's at BLS services) who have at least 5 years in. Do you think the work ethic of new EMT's and baby medics has changed? I have been noticing that the newer EMT's have little to no enthusiasm to do anything that isn't forced on them. I find myself working with EMT's that are so unmotivated that they will not go over the bags to simply refresh their memory since orientation. Mostly it is a struggle to get them to do the most basic and minimum part of their jobs (here it's check the truck). I've had a few even say that their only job is to drive. There is an article hanging up in the Lt's office titled "Generation: They're arrived at work with a new attitude". It basically says you have to justify everything you tell them to do. Do you feel this is true and have you experienced this?

In the great and mighty state of Arkansas, it is LAW that the "highest level of certification on the responding ambulance" once on scene, takes responsibility and care of the patient. You cannot downgrade from ALS to BLS. The ALS provider has to have direct patient care. Note I said from the responding ambulance. This is to prevent the "I'm a doctor/nurse/vet" syndrome from occuring. A EMT basic cannot legally remain the "primary" caregiver once the paramedic arrives on scene. This has been historically more a problem with BLS first responders refusing to "turn over" the patient to the BLS ambulance. In these cases, the EMT first responder usually feels they are equal to the ambulance EMT, therefore, doesn't have to turn over the patient. However, it doesn't matter, as the law clearly states the "responding ambulance" has the primary care. The only exception is the introduction of ALS first responders with BLS transport ambulances. Law has provision that the BLS ambulance must allow the ALS provider maintain primary caregiver. Remember, no downgrading from ALS to BLS, even if the call is truly a BLS call. Now, as to the original intent of the thread, how to turn over care from the BLS to ALS level. I prefer the patient report presented with a nice hot cup of coffee, creamer, and a sugar or two. I also prefer the coffee to be in a nice stoneware cup. Bowing in not necessary, however, if you wish, feel free. Liberal use of "Sir" is considered flattery and will be looked upon favorably. Carry my bags to and from the ambulance and cry when I leave.

At the time I thought so too. The owner was a little short foul-mouthed bald man we called the Troll. Somebody cut down the SO's radio tower one night. Took a big torch. Like the one on the tow truck. By the way, ever see a tow truck run hot with red lights and a siren.? Very intertaining. Anyway, it just so happened this occured right after his new radio tower just got finished. And since he had the only one left in the county, he rented tower space out at a very reasonable daily fee. Nobody investigated the cutting of the tower. Seems everyone was more worried about who would service the police cars.

We had a call at the high school gym for a seizure. Call upgrade to a code blue (cardiac arrest). This wasn't just a game. It was the regional playoffs. 4000 spectators minimum. The patient is an older male on the floor in full view, seizing like crazy. Head injury looking. I'm thinking in my calm, professional mind "CR@P!". Fortunately, I'm just assisting another crew with a new medic. Suddenly, this guy jumps in and yells "I'm ordering you to stop, load him up and go to the hospital! Don't do another thing!" We ignore him. This guy suddenly hits me in the back the head and yells "DID YOU HEAR ME!??!" I turn around and punch him in the chest, knocking him back about 3 feet. I then calmly shriek "DON'T EVER F%^&#$@ TOUCH ME AGAIN!" I then turn to the Police Chief who was standing there and say (again calmly) "YOU CAN SHOOT HIM ANYTIME NOW!" It suddenly dawns on me that the gonging sound I was hearing was the pins dropping on the gym floor with the 4000 spectators staring. Did I mention the camcorders I am now noticing? I then hear someone say "He just hit Doctor Somebody!' Sigh. Turns out he's a surgeon (sigh) from another town and thought he would help out the idiots in uniform. He called our ER med control doc and proceeded to cuss him out. Doc Sam asked him what made him think he could help in the middle of the gym floor and did it somehow resemble a surgery suite? I love that Doctor.

Union break! or Safety nap! No really, do I have to look it up in the NIOSH reports for you?

I started out at a Mom and Pop service in Missouri. The owner had: The ambulance service The rescue service The towing service The auto parts store The auto garage The radio service And moved mobile homes to and fro. He wanted a new company slogan. I suggested: Blank Blank Ambulance and Towing. Whether auto parts or body parts, you call, we haul. That man had no sense of humor.

Beagle, We don't consider you an A$$. We consider you more like that big, lovable, sage of all knowledge. And the Keeper of the Dance of the Naughty Alpine Boy. Me on the other hand, my bonus check is directly proportional to the number of EMT's I make cry within a quarter. And remember, you're wrong! Wrong wrong wrong! How dare you with your 17 plus years of experience even think of giving advice to those medics with less than 2 years total experience about getting in there and treating the patient. It's not about the patient. It's about sleeping all day. And getting the No Pick Up signed. And not doing anything you don't have to. And not having to carry any equipment. Because, one time, in band camp... :wink:

A couple years ago we had a double shooting where the victims were a cop and a bystander. It was Beagle189 and me on the first in ambulance. Anyway, the local hospital had a surg in house, but needed a second. He was at home. The ER called the PD and they went both ways L&S.. Only time I know of this happening, but it worked fairly well.

Beagle, You know my advice: just keep hitting the EMT 'til the twitching stops. I'll come over and help dig the pit. Still got the bag of lime? I took the cot in a couple of times when my back was stiff (paramedic Chaz speaking) just because the gear weighs so d@nm much. I mean, does the airway kit really need to 2 steel E tanks? The firedawgs don't mind getting the cot anyway. At least 99% of them. Except your son-in-law (we know, it's a waste of his talents). We (fireman Chaz speaking) don't want to take over EMS or even get ALS engines. We're happy to see you come in and take over. Glad to help. What burns me (medic Chaz) is our EMTs that insist on backing up the driveway first, then get the cot, then put everything on it, then go in, then play "I'm a little battalion chief and I'm going to stand here and be in charge and tell everyone what to do and talk on the radio a lot and not do my job." All three of them. Hit them 'til the twitching stops.