First of all, i would like to say your guys' stories were Truly Awesome!
And I have one for you,
I’m only an EMR, Finished my EMT-A Schooling a few months ago and did my ambulance practicum this last July.
We get called for a Patient transfer, From the General Hospital to the Psychiatric Center 30 min away.
35 y/o Female was picked up by RCMP the previous evening running down the street Butt Naked.
So we arrive at the hospital and as we approach the front desk we walk by this room. A Female was standing, tapping her one leg, staring at the roof, Clapping, as if she was dancing.
And at the time, my first thoughts were…. “Please Not Her….”
Sure enough, she was the patient we were taking. She was accompanied by 3 security guards, all wearing black gloves. My Partner and I introduced ourselves to the patient who seemed at the time rather normal. We got to the ambulance, and as soon as she seen it, she gripped my arm and was suddenly scared.
“No! Not an Ambulance!” She said, and proceeded to tell me how she was scared of enclosed areas.
After some encouragement, and after telling her, I will be right beside her the WHOLE trip, she agrees. She gets on the stretcher and we get into the ambulance. Our friendly security guards who were watching her the whole time were standing at the back of the ambulance.
Suddenly she became very agitated, and were certain the security guards were after her, because they were wearing gloves, she didn’t trust them, and INSISTED they take them off. They Did, and she immediately calmed down. Then she looked at me, seen that I had gloves. “Please, Please can you take your gloves off…your scaring me!”
I calmly took my gloves off and asked, “Is that better”
She said yes. So we finally got rolling, and she looked at me.
“Can you take your glasses off? Your glasses are scaring me”
I asked her why, and she said, that she Couldn’t look into my Soul because my glasses were blocking her.
I took off my glasses, a little dumbfounded by the statement, I mean…what do you say to that ? So I asked if that’s better, and she said Yeah. I asked her “so what do you see in my soul”
She said that she sees that I’m a nice guy….and I like to Gel my Hair. (I happen to have my hair Gelled that day, not sure what that has to do with my soul)
THEN, after seeing I was such a nice guy, she wanted to Write a song! She proceeds to tell me that she’s a Kindergarten Teacher who writes songs. So she starts clapping her hands and bobbing her head up and down, and she INSISTED that I come along.
So theres me and the patient Bee Bopping in the back of our unit.
But, I was so off key, we re tried 5 times and she decided I was hopeless so we quit that.
Then she proceeds to tell me, her story, the fact that she was #1 of the TOP 3 RICHEST people in the world.
I asked her how she came to be that way and she said its all because of her mission, to save the world from Abuse.
I told her that’s a pretty Noble Mission. And then she had to tell me that she was abused, and she INSISTED I look at her bruises, so she stripped herself butt naked on the stretcher and showed me the bruises on her legs.
After covering her with a blanket, she began to tell me how she does this mission. Her and her 3 MOST TRUSTED friends (who were # 2 and # 3 of the RICHEST in the world) Time Travels, back to the age of the Dinosaurs and forward thousands of years to save the world.
And she tried to teach me to time travel.
“FIRST” she says, “you have to look at your watch at all times, DO NOT look away and tell me every time it changes!”
So I ask “So do I tell you when the Minutes change? Or the seconds?”
“Just tell me when it changes”
So I tried.
The time was 11 35 11 and I told her “ok its now 11 35 12” and I looked up at her.
Well she didn’t like that. “LOOK AT YOUR WATCH OR ITS NOT GOING TO WORK!” Well we tried this a dozen and a half times and needless to say, I didn’t get to experience the time travel thing.
Once we got to the Hospital, she insisted the entire hospital needed to see the proof of her abuse and stripped and began running down the hallway…
Needless to say, it was my most entertaining patient I ever had.
Sorry for the Novelization, but a nutshell version wouldn’t have been as good.