Just For Fun...

[angelbaby1414]

I was in the ER yesterday and there was an e-mail lying around : You might be an ER nurse if... It also applies to EMT's/Medics. I thought I would post the best of the list here and then have everyone add one of their own, so here goes:

You might be an EMT/Medic if...

1. You believe that 90% of people are poor excuses for protoplasm.

2. Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal to you.

3. You have the bladder capacity of 5 people.

4. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

5. You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance.

6. You automatically assume the patient is drug seeking when presented with the complaint of Migraine, lower back pain, chronic myalgia (choose one of the above), a list of numerous allergies to meds (except Demerol), and the statement that the family doctor is out of town.

7. Your idea of comforting a child includes placing them in a papoose restraint.

8. You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be an recognized diagnosis.

9. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase "wow, it's really quiet" is uttered.

10. Your diet consists of food that has gone thru more processing than most computers.

11. You believe that chocolate is a food group.

12. You say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers.

13. You don't think a referral to Dr. Kevorkian is inappropriate.

14. You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide...Doing It Right".

15. You believe that "too stupid to live" should be an acceptable diagnosis.

16. You have ever referred to your partner as a "weirdo magnet".

17. You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.

18. You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

19. Your most common assessment question is"what has changed, tonight, to make this an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?

20. You refer to vegetables and you are not talking about a food group.

21. You have ever had a patient say"...but I'm not pregnant; I can't be pregnant; how can I be having a baby?"

22. You carry your own set of keys to the "leathers".

23. Your idea of gambling is an ETOH pool instead of a football pool.

24. Your bladder expands to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.

25. You get an almost irresistable urge to stand and wolf down your food even in the nicest restaurants.

26. You have ever referred to subcutaneous air as "Rice Krispies".

27. You have thought OD instead of BBQ when asked to get the charcoal.

28. You believe that a large part of your daily calorie requirements is provided by Tylenol, Advil or Excedrine.

And my addition to the list:

29. Your have ever used the term "lizard slinging" in conversation.

HAVE FUN!!

[kyle308]

-5 for posting this in the wrong forum. It belongs in funny stuff.

[Richard B the EMT]

???

Lizard slinging?

[angelbaby1414]

BLS - Basic Lizard Slinging! Sorry Kyle.

[Richard B the EMT]

BLS - Basic Lizard Slinging!

Lizard Slinging? Basic and advanced? Lizard Slinging?

I know of the Geico Gekko, and of a few of their competitors referring to lizard disfunction, but...Lizard Slinging?

[WendyT]

Lizard slinging = Bra snapping :roll:

[steph1030]

..........................................lizard slinging??? :roll:

[Kaisu]

draining the lizard.....

[Jess]

-5 for posting this in the wrong forum. It belongs in funny stuff.

Your stealing Dustdevils Job! also, this is in the funny stuff. Unless it was originally posted in the wrong topic category and the later moved here. :roll: dunno but that was funny! Lizard slinging though?? how bout drain the main vein?