Death

[EMRRiki]

I'm looking to find out what is normal, and what is not. What will go away with time, and what won't. I'm only a year into my EMS career, in a very very small community, with a very small call volume (Last year 4 calls, this year 30). So, needless to say, you know every patient. My experience is limited. I've been to a number of medical calls, a few trauma, and have experienced one death. The death I experienced was a choking, in a hospital setting during my practicum. I handled it well and therefor felt confident I'd do well with that side of things. However, this Friday I was called to a Code 5...which, where I'm from is a Unconfirmed Body. The patient had passed a number of days prior to our arrival and it was quite a gory scene. During the call itself I was fine, even after I got home I was fine. Then I tried to sleep and *WHAM* I could not get the image out of my mind. When I finally did get to sleep it was hours later and my dreams were flooded with the same image. The next day I thought of it often so I distracted myself by house cleaning thoroughly. But again, come bed time, I had to literally force the image out of my mind over and over again. In addition that, I keep smelling that smell at random moments, when obviously the smell is not there. So again, my question is...is this normal...and most importantly, will it go away??

[NYCEMS9115]

Keep your head up... Everyone reacts differently to things. It's good to speak out about it. Grab the ear of co-workers, friends, and family. If it is getting into your daily routine; you may need to speak to a professional. I can't say it's normal because everyone has their version of "normal"... Good luck...

Burning coffee grounds helps with the smell of a decomposing body... Thank you for sharing...

[Happiness]

It goes away with time. I to am from a small town where I know almost everyone and everyone knows me. The decomposing body smell is horrid and the memories at bed time suck. I have a small bottle of vicks and when I go to one of those up the nose it goes.

One of the worst bodies I went to was a guy who had passed away sitting on the couch, and his chin was on his chest. When we went to move him his head moved and it was like he had taken a breath. Oh course I was holding his head and it startled me so much that I almost dropped him. And then the gasses that had been brewing were released and yep Im glad I had the vicks, my partner didnt believe in using it and needless to say he was puking in the bushes (thank god he made it outside).

If you still have problems then find someone in your station to talk about it sometimes thats all it takes.

I still have bad dreams about a call I had back in January but they are not as often and not as intense.

Good luck sometimes this job just sucks

[Richard B the EMT]

Keep your head up... Everyone reacts differently to things.

[mobey]

I also am from a small Sask town where I knew all my pts, and on many occasions transported family members.

This means special skills are required at your workplace that others do not face on a regular basis.

I'll be honest, in this situation either you "got it" or you don't. There is no book learning to help you with the emotions involved in picking up your neighbors.

As for the body... yeah, what you're experiencing is normal, it should pass in a few weeks. Luckily being low call volume, you won't have to deal with this much.

[Richard B the EMT]

It goes away with time.

I still have bad dreams about a call I had back in January but they are not as often and not as intense.

As noted, it takes different periods of time for different individuals. Here it is, all these years later, but every now and again, I wake up from a nightmare, where I am reminded that babies died in the first major Multiple Casualty Incident I responded to, Eastern Airlines Flight 66, from Louisiana to JFK, June of 1975, with 113 souls dead on the scene, or within 48 hours at the local hospitals.

My trigger? A burnt teddy bear.

I have not had the dream in over a year, but now that I am mentioning it, I'll hope not to dream it again tonight.

(Note: both of my postings were supposed to be together as one posting.)

Edited June 20, 2011 by Richard B the EMT

[Bernhard]

One or two weeks of rather extreme stress reactions are normal in such a case. If it lasts more than this, try to get professional help.

After the first one/two weeks it's completely normal to have some light flashbacks/reminiscences - in dreams, in similar settings, triggered by some special sensoric input (often: smell) or when driving near the place. This should not come very often, just once in a while and getting less. If it's happen regularly and/or you get extreme stress with influence on your daily life (and not "only" a bad dream once in a while) from those reminiscences then seek professional help.

For our unit we have an informational sheet describing stress symptoms, normal and abnormal signs and some tips to cope (plus pointers to professional help). Every member gets to read this and it is permanently posted on the pin board. If you want I can try to translate it.

Basically it helps knowing if you have such feelings you know, you're a normal human beeing...and there is help somewhere if those feelings really disturb your life. You're never the only one experiencing this...

[uglyEMT]

I know the feeling. I too am from a small community where it seems I run into past patients and family members in my off duty time.

I recently had a "bad call" myself. It takes a while to get over it, sometimes longer then others. Being I occasionally run into the family members it brings the call back. One thing I try and do is not rehash it if possible even when asked.

Talk to members in your squad, let folks on your crew know what you are going through. Sometimes by letting others know, you can find solice and healing because they themselves maybe feeling the same thing and just want to put on a strong persona. By talking about it it sometimes lets the emotions out and moves the healing process foward.

Hell if worse comes to worse a good cry never hurts either.

If all else fails please seek professional help, trying to live with a PTSD (which this can and will turn into if left untreated) can be hell. I have been there and if you search a few threads of mine about it you will see what I went through and how long I "put on the strong persona." Please don't suffer if you don't have to. The reason for the professional avenues of recovery is because we sometimes do need them.

You are not weak, scared, a wimp ect for seeking help. You are human as we all are and sometimes the emotional stress we are put under is more then we can bare. We are the ones that everyone turns to in a crisis, yes even the 3am stubbed toe is a crisis to THAT person, we are the ones with the level heads the ones that bare the burdens of life and death at the worst times in someones life. Everyone thinks we are these immovable stone persons that look adversity in the face and laugh but unfortunatly no one sees what we deal with inside after the call. We are human so if the stress gets to much ( a few warning signs: reoccurent smells, nightmares, night terrors, insomnia, lack of motivation, lack of desire, sexual dysfunction) please seek the professonals out and get the help you need.

Hope this helps you in some way. Know you do not suffer alone and at some point I think we have all been there.

[Richard B the EMT]

After the first one/two weeks it's completely normal to have some light flashbacks/reminiscences - in dreams, in similar settings, triggered by some special sensoric input (often: smell) or when driving near the place.

Funny you mention sensory/smell. Totally unrelated to the job, as the first time I heard Diana Ross and the Supremes doing "Reflections", I was in a Pizzaria. Now, I hear the song, and suddenly, I smell pizza!

[Bernhard]

Funny you mention sensory/smell. Totally unrelated to the job, as the first time I heard Diana Ross and the Supremes doing "Reflections", I was in a Pizzaria. Now, I hear the song, and suddenly, I smell pizza!

You really need professional help, then! Go to a hamburger or hot dog stand as fast as you can! Immediately avoid Supremes!

SCNR

BTW: did you notice that the title caption of the browser changes, when replying to this thread? It reads "Replying to Death".

Serious:

Since I'm volunteering in our local first responder squad covering around 10.000 inhabitants plus a lot of commuters/tourists with 250 calls per year, I more than once knew the patient personally, including declaring death once on a good friend and member of the squad's youth group and worked several immediate neighbors finally frustrane. Another young fellow I rescued two times until the third accident got him fatally despite our efforts, thus never got the chance to know his then unborn child. I tend to not go on the funerals after such incidents even if I surely have developed some coping strategies through >20 years of EMS experience.

On the other side, sometimes It's more disturbing to defend myself against people who virtually say I'm a psychological wreck for working in EMS. Often, this is the real disgusting aspect...I am very often confronted with the public's thoughts in the following order:

• "Oh, I couldn't do that, to see all the blood and bad things!" (Answer: Oh no, mostly it's not such a mess, and we really can help, at least: hold a hand to ensure someone is there to care. Gloves help a lot.)
• "You really regularly must go to psychiatrist/priest/... for all those bad things you saw?" (Answer: No. We're trained and experienced to do our work, and if we do it, then it's not to us - the patient or someone other //insert higher beeing here// has to do the remaining...or not.)
• "But it's all so disgusting and horrible!" (Answer: Sigh...yes. Go, see your most favourable EMS/hospital TV show to see how things really are...).

To be honest, I have had far more burn-out moments in my white collar/office job than in EMS. This does not imply that there are no bad or heavy influencing moments in EMS work, but it's not so much as several movies/TV shows/news reports try to suggest. As already said: it's perfectly normal to have one or two bad weeks after such an incident.

So, to the original poster: let us know in about two weeks what you're feelings about the case are then. Should get better...