DUMBEST THING EVER HEARD ON THE RADIO/SCANNER

[UMassEMS18]

"Bravo 1 and Bravo 3 (PD), please respond 1100 Main St., Exxon Gas Station for a naked man urinating in flower pots. Possible EtOH."

30 seconds later

"B1 and B3, be advised, the man at that location is now defecating in the flower pots and scattering it over the parking lot."

PD Units: "B1, B3 on scene. Can you give a description of the man, there's a crowd gathering."

Station: "Umm, he'll be the one with no clothes on and Sh!t on his hands."

[Richard]

I always shook my head when my old Lt. used to say he could read us 4.5 by 5.

The scary thing is, he was never joking.

[Richard B the EMT]

This is too easy!

For field units, the dumbest thing on the radio is the dispatchers, and for the dispatchers, the field crews. There will be questionable on both sides that they will agree on.

[emt_hound]

4.5 x 5? Freakin' JO's, man...

[Eng542ine]

"Medic53... respond into Newton, the Sussex County Jail for the lower GI bleed... <pause>... traumatically induced"

[snowman]

Dispatch send a crew for an overdose on Vaseline.....The crew then asked whats the recommended dosage for Vaseline?

[ResQBtheEMT]

Since he obviously has missed this opportunity for shameless self-promotion, allow me...

"If you want to be laughing for hours, check out the 'funny things heard on the radio' section in Devin's books...EMS: The Job of Your Life, EMS2: The Life of The Job..."

(Does that about cover it Dev?) LOL j/k

[MedicShannon]

engine 30 rescue 30 unresponsive pt, 123 w main st cross of 1st and 2nd

engine 30 rescue 30 unresponsible pt, 123 w main st cross of 1st and 2nd OCSO on scene with an ETOH person down.

I laughed so hard at the 2nd repeat I thought I was gonna pee myself

[Richard B the EMT]

"Ambulette 137, how the hell could you run out of gas? Don't you know that the 'E' on the fuel gage does NOT stand for 'Enough'!"

[ERDoc]

"Pt is in asystole with a rate of about 20."

XYZ Ambulance: ABC Hospital, we are bringing you a 13y/o female with an airway obstruction. Pt is stable and breathing well. We also have a 15y/o male with a laceration. We'll give you more info when we arrive."

ABC Hospital: XYZ Ambulance, could you please give us more information on the pt?

XYZ Ambulance: No.

ABC Hospital: We need to know what kind of equipment to set up for your arrival. Please tell us more.

XYZ: You do not need anything at this time. You will understand when we arrive.

Ambulance pulls in with a male on a strecher with a blanket over him with a large "bump" down by his abdomen. Sheet gets pulled back and it is his girlfriend. She was performing oral sex on him and his skin got stuck in her braces. :shock: :shock: :shock: