Happiness

Nope sometimes the is quickly ended in one fell swoop

After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl. Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV. Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.

New Alphabet : A is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead. Now The Alphabet: A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L 's for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next. N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, bones that don't grow! P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Qis for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two. S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears! U is for urinary; troubles with flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.. W for worry, now what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found. Yfor another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!

we all are irrisponsible at some time in our careers and shit happens. I personally got a giggle out of it and to tell you the truth I told our ff to make a calander of all of them in a dress. And they might just do that

some just have more money than sense lol so where do you strap down the pt

Come to think of it in our VFF department all the bunker gear is in lockers in the station not in the trucks. So I guess they dont always have it with them

Early in my career I went to a call in a dress and this is why 1. I was at my birthday party (thats why I was in a dress) 2. There was no one on call 3. It was a cardiac call 4. Because it just happened that way These guys did what they had to do, no one got hurt and in reality we dont have to worry about them being a Darwin award. I saw this on the tube and a reported noticed the one guy fussing with his straps and asked the other why it appeared he didnt have an issue with his, well his dress was strapless People will do what people do in any situation and there will always be those that find fault in everything. I bet the people that were around had a good giggle, the fire was faught and put out and the parade went on.......I think I might suggest this to our VFF as a fundraiser because maybe if people thought this was all they had to wear to fires they might donate enough for our crew to get new gear

Captian Ruff

My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month. Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days." Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms." The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days." Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer." The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week."

So lets go back to before this newbie even attended the call. Did you as a preceptor go through explaining to him/her that when we communicate a pts condition we try to make it so they can understand what is going on and that we try to communicate the condition with out adding extra stress. So for example Joe Doe if we come across a Heart Attack when we are talking to the pt we dont say "Sir your having the big Jammer" but might say "Sir I believe you are having a Heart Attack and we need to get you to a hospital asap, as we are going I will start an IV and......................" New medics are so focused on trying to diagnois what is going on that they forget how to communicate. I have had to train the new one just out of school and they are not really told how to talk to pts, and what they are taught really isnt always real clear. When I had to ride with my Preceptor I was very lucky to have one that would say to me "So we are going to blah blah what are the things that you might want to think about on our way there" I would give my answer, she would never say I was right or wrong as that defeats the purpose of precepting. Then she would say so if you come across blah blah blah how are you going to talk to the patient, how are you going to get the information that you need from the patient or the family members. Communication is learned and learning by example to me is the best way. just my two cents

here is a harmless one. get a cookie sheet and fill with enough water to float toothpicks. Put the cookie sheet on the floor, then you place a toothpick at eithe end and tell the two chumps to lay down. You tell them the point of the game is to see who can get the the toothpick to the other side the fastes. You then as you are counting to 3, on you slam you hand down in the middle of the pan and splash the chumps get wet. Yes I was a chump and laughed, then i did it on a few others. Great for kids parties.

Just had my training for the tracker style last week, yahoooo now lets hope we get our soon

End of fishing season at the lodge. They always have a big party, and this one particualar group of Darwin applicants decided it would be a good idea to fill a kiddy pool with jello, then jump off the roof and land in it. One only one participant was scored and it was a 0.

Definition of Irony The food stamp program, part of the Department of Agriculture, is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of food stamps ever. Meanwhile, the Park Service, also part of the Department of Agriculture, asks us to "Please Do Not Feed the Animals" because the animals may grow dependent and not learn to take care of themselves.

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...................so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight started.... ********************************************************* I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream........ And that's how the fight started. ************************************************************************ After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security . The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's licenseto verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said,'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'.............. And that's how the fight started..... *********************************************************************** My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girl friend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'.............And that's how the fight started..... *********************************************************************** I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' ...............And that's how the fight started..... ************************************************************************ I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' ........................And that's how the fight started.....

I travel the beaches with my dog and quad, Weave cedar hats, sew and torment my sons cat

Im pretty sure this has been a thread before way back when. I try not to cut off the cloths of the homeless or if in reality I dont need to. There are those times that I am recieving a pt that has been packaged by a first responder (exp a logger) if their cloths are not off when I get them I dont take them off until in the ER (be aware my ER is about 5 min code three away from where I get them) where I have alot of help because most of these guys are spinaled and very large men and I would cause more damage. You have to be aware of the settings, if it is 40 below are you cutting someones cloths off in the street, or waiting until your in the ambulance. As for patient dignaty it is a pretty big deal in our little world and there are those times it is out the window but it can be handled well for example, I had a lady that was nudged by a car while walking with a walker. She didn't have the time or ability to put her hands out to protect her neck. She went face first and her neck was broken. Now since we had to start CPR and we had alot of FF to help, they grabbed blankets and made barriers so that the general public couldn't see us cut off her shirt and bra, it worked well for that scene. When I do have to cut off the cloths in general I will go and find new stuff for the pt. (there are those exceptions to that rule)

thats okay richard we don't all like british humor, personally I love it

Wow, is really all I can say. Well maybe not. My experience with our local FF has always been awsome. I dont understand why people have to slam them to the point that they do. At least once a year I go to them and we cruise through the car so they know where are stuff is. I ask them politely to get things for me and you what, they do. They also carry down those 300 pounders to my ambulance, funny thing is they dont complain. Maybe some should be thankful there are those other professions are there to help us. The other point that could be made is that DRs., nurses and paramedics dont always answer the call because of law suites, so you know what the dumb FF did so maybe the regognition is warrented. The original report I read here made me think like others that it was how it was reported not nessasarily accuratly. Please ignore the spelling mistakes.

In the Haida world when someone is dying or is sent to the hospital everyone from the village shows up. It is a bit overwelming to those who dont do this in their own culture. You have just discovered one of the best things in EMS and that is feeling compfortable enough to stay for the prayer, comunicate with the family and to be able to give that family a hug. The hugs can be few and far between but you will remember every one of them.

Oh don't worry about my balls, I am here to learn what I can from others. Even though there are those that dont agree with the arm drop I feel it does have a place. I am not saying you use this the little old lady or the 10 year old that fell off of a bike, this in my opinion is used when you think for what ever reason (a gut feeling) you need to know if a person is faking.

So first not one person has ever hit their face and cause an unprotected airway, next the last time I used a OPA and said it here I got slammed. As for needing to know about someone faking, I just like to know as I do know a medic that was caught off guard with a faker (a good faker at that) Its not that I am a wacker it was something I was taught and have never been told not to do it. I do know about the eyelashes but it isn't what comes to mind I guess, maybe I will try that next time. We all have different idea's and I have never harmed anyone in doing the LOC checks, I personally think the sternum rub is a bit barbaric but if it works it works.

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened. The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...

You didn't get past the "They grow in my front yard" statement. Go re-read my post and you will have your answer

OK didn't read any of the responses but I did just watch a documentry on this a few months back, and yes they are testing in the states the LSD and the Magic Mushrooms and the studies show that they are benificial to the people that are banging their heads on the floors sucking O2 until they pass out. You can google this and find alot of information. Magic Mushrooms grow in my front yard where I live (they are the best in the world) and I just talked to my boss and we may have to start a pharmicutical company to get these things out there. Just so people know before they start shoving these things down their faces, you can really distroy your brain if you take to many of them. To the OP. If your friend chooses this rout in treatment then they had better know exactly what they are in for. Before being a medic I decided to give them a try on my birthday #25. A friend of mine who happens to be about 350 lbs turned into an orangatang in front of my eyes, and playing Mario was interesting to say the least. So halucinations do happen and you do feel weird.