Funerals

[emtannie]

I have been to so many patient funerals, I have lost count. However, as I am in a very small community, at least 90% of my patients are also people that I know well either through church, business outside of EMS, or other community involvement.

I do not attend as a member of the ambulance service, but as a friend to either the deceased, or their family member that I am friends with.

The only time I attend a funeral in uniform is if it is a member of emergency services, and then as was stated earlier, we are all in uniform and seated in formation.

[Yummymedic05]

I typically only go back to check on my patient's while they are in the hospital. I have yet to attend a funeral, but I feel the funeral is for family/friends, so if i were to go i'd only attend the showing.

[becksdad]

I have never been to a patients funeral either. Unless they were a personal friend, I can't imagine why I would attend. And I must agree with Asysin2leads that wearing a uniform (unless as part of a group to honor a colleague/brother/sister) would be extremely tacky.

[ladyemt51_2000]

I recently attended a patient's visitation for the first time. She was a regular with us, as she had many health issues. We went as a group and wore our dept coats. We went in, paid our respects to her and her family and quietly left. It is acceptable, where I live, to go in uniform. I may add that many our patients are elderly with their family living in other cities and states. By going, it lets them know that we cared about their loved one and we care about those left behind. It gives us an opportunity to let the family know we are grieving with them and we are keeping them in our thoughts and prayers during this time.

[Richard B the EMT]

Perhaps I am just stirring the pot, as it were, but I believe some departments or agencies only allow their personnel to attend funerals in uniform, by permission of the department, unless it is a "Departmental Funeral", meaning it was someone from the agency, or agencies that also work the general area of the county. I use as an example, a member died at Volunteer Ambulance Service "A", and members of that agency attended in uniform, as well as uniformed members of VAS "B", "C", Volunteer Fire Department "Z", and the county Sheriffs office.

[MTNMANMEDIC]

I have been to a few, those few were well known to the community and not going would have been out of the norm.

We lost a squad member a few years ago in a MVA, we were quite surprised to see several "frequent fliers" and the staff of the local nursing home show up to pay thier respects.

[Rescue0ne]

I have gone before. Mostly because I am in a small community and almost everyone I transport, I know. I grew up knowing them and their families.

As it is with me. Shut up, I know, "my volunteer is showing". :roll: I've been to a few, those being friends of the family, or friends of friends of the family, where it would seem odd if I hadn't attended.

Note: When I do attend, it's in civilian clothing. However, the last funeral I attended was for my cousin, who happened to be a medic with my "home" Rescue Squad. It was an LODD, may he rest in peace. The wake demanded full dress uniform, but I attended the funeral as family, not co-worker.

Eh. Do it your way, I'll do it mine.

[katbemeEMT-B]

I am from a small rural town. I have some connection to almost every patient I have transported. If I attended every funeral I would be a regular at the funeral home. With that being said, I have attended a visitation and funeral for one person but she was also a founding member of our service. We attended the visitation as a group. The funeral was attended by the crew that was on that day and our ambulance led the procession to the cemetary lights and sirens. After the graveside service, we left ahead of the family and friends lights and sirens as Amazing Grace was being played at the graveside. We also attended the luncheon at the request of the family. We were told it was the most moving thing they had ever witnessed. It made me feel good to know that we had made something so tragic so special for the family.

[AnthonyM83]

I would miss too many days if I attended all the funerals of the patients I cared for. ( Man, that sounded bad ! :shock: )

Personally, I have never attended any unless I personally know them. I draw the line between empathy and sympathy.

I sometimes worry about that...For critical patients who are altered, I seem to have absolutely no empathy or sympathy at all. It's just going through the mechanical skills to get best patient outcome.

Now, for conscious patients, I do have quite a lot. I guess if they die, they die, and it doesn't much bother me, but if it's their feelings that bother me. If they're scared or worried or anxious, I think I go further than most to comfort them.

The only way I can see myself going to a patient's funeral is if they were a frequent flyer with a personality and I had forged a connection/liking with them. I can only recall one patient (an IFT guy in his 70s with a mouth as foul as a sailor and quite sarcastic/funny) whose funeral I'd go to.

[emtgal40222]

I work for a service where I see the same patients every other day (dialysis transports). Seeing these people struggle every day, I try everything I can to brighten their day. I have been to a couple of the patients wakes usually in uniform, because I work during the day. The only time I have been to a service that I had to wear my uniform was when one of my co-workers committed suicide. That was hard! So we have some patients that are about to die, so I see some more wakes in my future.