IDIOTS OF 2006

[itku2er]

IDIOTS OF 2006

NUMBER ONE IDIOT of 2006:

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the

poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her

little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not

harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down and at the end of the conversation, happened to mention that

she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.

I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right

away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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NUMBER TWO IDIOT of 2006:

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a

life raft from one of the 747's. They were successful in getting it out of

the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they

noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that

the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated

when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

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NUMBER THREE IDIOT of 2006:

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America , walked into the branch

and wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all yur muny in this bag." While

standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that

someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the

teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to

the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his

note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling

errors, that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could

not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit

slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or

go back to Bank of America . Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK"

and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line

back at Bank of America .

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

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NUMBER FOUR IDIOT of 2006:

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured

his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the

mail, a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the

policedepartment a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter

from the police that contained another picture, this time, of handcuffs. He

immediately mailed in his $40.

Smartbutt. But you still get a sign.

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NUMBER FIVE IDIOT of 2006:

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of

the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the

robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He

told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,

"Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the

clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this

point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put

the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the

robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

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IDIOT NUMBER SIX of 2006:

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.

The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled

first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.

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IDIOT NUMBER SEVEN of 2006:

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that

he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some

booze, and run. So, he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the

window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems

the liquor store window was made of plexi-glass. The whole event was caught

on videotape. Yep, here's your sign.

[Michael]

she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.

I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right

away

Don't First Responders carry enough activated charcoal to detox a few ants?

[itku2er]

Don't First Responders carry enough activated charcoal to detox a few ants?

well..........i will get back to you on that one micheal......LMAO

[bbbrammer]

When I worked as a gas station clerk years ago I actually had something like Idiot #5 happen at my store. He walked out with beer at 0300 (sales are prohibited between 0200 and 0600), and then tried to run across the street with it. He tripped in the middle of the street and busted the 30pack open. He picked up as many as he could carry and kept running. He forgot that he gets beer there regularly so I knew him, and knew where he lived. Not to mention that he kept dropping cans all the way home, so he left a trail for the police that led to his front door. He was arrested within 30 minutes.

[Asysin2leads]

Some of those are very old. The $40 note one and a few others were around when DVD's were the new technology.

[PRPGfirerescuetech]

When I worked as a gas station clerk years ago I actually had something like Idiot #5 happen at my store. He walked out with beer at 0300 (sales are prohibited between 0200 and 0600), and then tried to run across the street with it. He tripped in the middle of the street and busted the 30pack open. He picked up as many as he could carry and kept running. He forgot that he gets beer there regularly so I knew him, and knew where he lived. Not to mention that he kept dropping cans all the way home, so he left a trail for the police that led to his front door. He was arrested within 30 minutes.

similar EMS call.

MVA, rollover, beercans all over the car. No patient found in the middle of a showstorm.

However, we did find a bloodtrail and footprints that led to his front door 3 blocks or so away...

[Eric]

what is a showstorm?

[Just Plain Ruff]

showstorm = snowstorm surprised you didn't know that.

[medicKristina]

Thsoe were some funny stories...I remember the one about the pic of the car, pic of money, pic of handcuffs...In fact, I've thought about doing that if I get a ticket from one of those!!

[NREMT-Basic]

These are fun. My father who recently retired after 36 years as a sheriffs deputy has a couple. He was called to an armed robbery in progress at a local quick mart. He responded and went in (thats when backup was an afterthought). He drew his service weapon and pointed it at the subject and promptly yelled "drop it or you will get shot" just as the man pulled the trigger and the barrel feel off followed by the cylinder, which he picked up and threw at my father. Attempted aggravated burglary and assault with a deady weapon on LEO. Also the barrel left a grease stain on dads shirt which the judge ordered the would be burglar to pay compensation for. A few years later, dad went in to break up a bar fight. As he went through the door, a man charged him with a broken bottle in his hand. Dad carried the largest maglight rather than a baton or nightstick, so he drew it an hit the guy on the head, knocking him to the ground and also breaking the head off of dads maglite. Charge: ADW on a LEO and destruction of county property. God Bless America!