Newfoundland declares war on the U.S.A.

[OwleyMedic]

Newfoundland declares war on the U.S.A.

President Obama was in the Oval Office wondering what he would do next, when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Obama" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland , Canada , eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Archie," the President replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army ?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold , me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Obama paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. " Mr. Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Obama asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry 's farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lard t'underin' bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.. " President Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"

Obama was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jumpins," said Archie, "l'll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. " President Obama ! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said the president . "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN! :lol: :lol:

[itku2er]

[spenac]

[FireMedic65]

mmmmm beer

[Chief1C]

Would that be agricultural terrorism?

[Richard B the EMT]

Similarly...

In the 1967 Arab/Israeli "7 Day" War, an Egyptian Army division was advised that a lone Israeli soldier had been spotted in the desert near them. They sent out a 2 man team. Neither returned. They sent out a 6 man squad. None returned. Then, they sent out a 50 man detail. One returned. When He reported to his general, he said

It was an ambush! There were 2 of them!

Same time period, an Israeli recruit, after 3 days in basic training, requested a 3 day pass, which was, of course, denied. The next morning, the lookouts reported a lone Syrian tank, flying a white flag, approaching. It stopped just outside the gates to the camp, and when the hatch was opened, it was the recruit! He got a 3 day pass! 3 days after his return, he asked for another 3 day pass, which was, again, denied. The next morning, the recruit showed up in an Egyptian Armored Personnel Carrier! He got another 3 day pass! On his return, other recruits surrounded him, and asked how he was able to do what he had been doing. He said

You take one of our tanks or APCs out towards enemy lines. When you see an enemy vehicle, you signal them, and run up a white flag. When they get out to ask what is happening, you ask them if they are interested in earning a 3 day pass, and swap vehicles!

Edited August 19, 2009 by Richard B the EMT