Jess

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swallar?"

The woman shakes her head no.

"Kin ya breathe?"

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver', but I ain't niver seen nobody do it!"

Sorry just had to share this

Ya know when you actually stare at it, there is a hidden picture in it, I see a woman sitting on a beach, holding a blow up doll of a man :!: :wink:

My grandmother is one of them. I can assure you that it is her own damn fault. She lays in bed all day and convinces different people to bring her fast food and Bacon.

I can understand being overweight, but morbidly obese, absolutely not.

OMG yes that show Untold Stories of the ER drives me NUTS! But i try not to pick at it because they do remind you that it is re-enactments of real stories so its not like its a shocker that the show is going to suck lol! But yes out of curiosity i've often wondered what happend to that show "Paramedics" because it used to come on TLC, then switched to Discovery Health Channel and now im told it comes on some other channel? I have no clue lol! but i miss it! anyways take care and be safe out there everyone

1. Yourself: tired

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?: none

3. Your hair: long

4. Your mother? Illinois

5. Your Father? heaven

6. Your Favorite Item: pets

7. Your dream last night: kinky

8. Your favorite drink: tea

9. Your dream car: 2004 Celica

10. The room you are in: bedroom

11. Your Ex: gone

12. Your Fears: loneliness

13. What do you want to be in 10 years: nurse

14. Who you hung out with tonight? myself

15. What You're Not? happy

16. Muffins: blueberry

17: One of Your Wish List Items: see dad

18. Time: 10:51pm

19. Last thing you did? slept

20. What You Are Wearing? nothing

21. Your Favorite Weather: snow

22. Your Favorite Book: non-fiction

23. The last thing you ate: potato

24. Your Life: challenged

25. Your Mood: discouraged

26. Your friends: none

27. What are you thinking about right now? going home

28. Your car: feet

29. What are you doing at the moment?: survey

30. Your summer: lazy

31. Your relationship status: single

32. What is on your tv? Roseanne

33. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday

34. last time you cried? today

35. School? spring

Lol thats hilarious!!! sounds about right too :roll:

I guess what some people don't realize is that in a lot of suicides there was some major mental problems. For example, My grandfather committed suicide years ago. He was a paranoid schitzo (SP) and thought these strange men we're coming to take his children away from him. it was very odd and he ended up killing himself. He didn't do it because life sucked and he just wanted permanent solution to a temporary problem. he didn't want to die at all. Some people just don't realize that suicide isn't all just cracked up to be "well my life sucks and i cant pay the bills, my husband left me so im going to OD on some pills" some cases are like that, some aren't. when your presented with a suicidal patient, just do your job, talk to them a bit because sometimes thats what they need. They're people just like us and shouldn't be judged either. Its not our job to try and figure out why they wanted to do it. its our job to lend a helping hand and be there through one of their darkest times in their life.

LOL! I've seen this joke so many times and everytime i see it, it still makes me laugh just as hard as the first time i saw it, you guys are awesome lol

WOW! If i could pick one death out of all of these, I'd have to pick the least painful but so far all of them look painful :shock:

[*] Jessica was killed by a drunk driver

[*] Jessica was killed by a tall Sikh: Jethmalani Harish V Nair New Delhi on November 8, 2006. (my dad died Nov 9th) weird!

[*] Jessica was killed by the Garou before help could arrive

[*] Jessica was killed by a convicted sex offender Jessica, was killed by a cyborg ... Jessica was killed by terrorists Jessica was killed by one sick perp

[*] Jessica was killed by a freight train

[*] Jessica, was killed by being thrown of a pent house balcony, in 1974. (so i guess im a ghost right now)

[*] Jessica was killed by a .22 bore gun

[*] Jessica was killed by the demon that killed the boys’ mother 22 years ago (hmmm demons!)

[*] Jessica was killed by Navjot Singh Sidhu/Rabbi Shergill/Manmohan Singh. (say that 10x fast)

ooooooooooh my god that was HILARIOUS lol! mmmm ideas ideas!! But ya know deep down i kinda feel sorry for telemarketers lol! I mean the poor people are just trying to do their job like everyone else in the world lol But its still funny!

Wow you learn something new everyday. But it makes sense, just about everything that exists in this world at leat one person is allergic to it. But yes interesting article. Take care everyone and be safe.

[/font:0b297962d2] This topic is definitely interesting. But coming from a household where a parent is an alcoholic, this topic is also sad. Deep down these people have some sorrows they're trying to drink away. Alcoholism is a disease and instead of society helping these people (who knows maybe they need someone to talk to) we poke fun. I myself have complained about the frequent flier who's drunk every night and we got sick of transporting him, but to sit down and listen to his lifestory blew me away. Im not pointing fingers at people in here at all. Im just saying you have to have a little compassion. I know that only goes so far though and your nerves eventually get shot. But working in EMS you'll see this type of stuff all the time and it gets so old but just talk to the person and maybe talk them into a detox program. You just might save their life. MY father eventually died due to drinking and driving so the only thing i can do is vent about this in here. like i said, no hard feelings against anyone here, just an interesting topic is all and very interesting points everyone has posted im done ranting and this wasn't meant to attack anyone, just venting and giving an idea everyone take care and be safe out there, God Bless!

Man im a softy!!! lol! I mean she does have a good point with some of the issues she explains not to mention that is a hella cool lip ring and purty lipstick! but overall the poor girl needs a beer in one hand and some zoloft in the other hand and then maybe the world might look prettier! :occasion5:

State officials say a woman who put her newborn in a paper sack and gave it to a Memphis firefighter didn't violate state law. The woman drove away after handing off the baby girl. Advertisement

Statute allows newborns 72 hours old or younger to be left with a member of the professional medical community.

Children's Services Department spokesman Rob Johnson says first responders would qualify under the law.

Fire Lieutnenant Larry Boothby says the woman asked him if the fire hall was a "Safe Place" and he told her it was. Various agencies and businesses are designated "safe places" and identified by a decal.

While that designation is primarily for the safety of elementary school-age children, Boothby believes the woman saw the decal and determined the fire hall was a good place to leave the infant.

Paramedics checked out the baby and then took her to the Regional Medical Center, where she was determined to be unharmed.

Tennessee's Safe Haven Law was created in 2001 to allow mothers to anonymously surrender unwanted newborns without fear of prosecution.

copyright AP

Katie Allison Granju , Producer

This was on my local news this evening and out of curiosity, I was wondering if anyone else in any other states has ever heard of this and does your state have the same statute? There is a lot of controversy that arose about this mother's act and many people feel this mother should be prosecuted for this. I disagree and would rather see a mother do this then dump the infant in a dumpster somewhere. Let me know what ya'll think!

oh my god, k so when i was 3 had a black lab named Baby. so Baby Borcherding

[/font:079f239dde] Mine is "Honey Hole" heh so i been told uhhhh yeah i'll be on my way now

I've never heard of Dianetics hmmm lol

I happend to see that episode of 20/20! that was very fascinating to see. I didn't realize stress could do as much as it does! I didn't really pay a whole lot of attention to the episode because i was multitasking at the time, on the phone, comp and an ear and eye on the tv lol! but i did see the thing on the sexual arousal disease. that was flippin weird!

To Answer your question Hammer "should we be sympathetic about Munchausen's by proxy"

Thats a very sticky situation because now we have more than one person involved. But i found this article and I think it would be useful in this discussion.

"In 1977, Englishman Roy Meadow published the first report of a new form of child abuse. He coined the term Munchausen syndrome by proxy (MSBP) after the syndrome that first had been reported by Asher in 1951. This term is applied when an adult, usually the mother, presents a false history to the physician regarding a child who is not suffering from any of the fabricated symptoms. This history causes the physician to perform unnecessary diagnostic procedures that do not result in any specific diagnosis. MSBP has been called Polle syndrome, named after Baron von Munchausen's only child. In 2002, a new terminology, pediatric condition falsification (PCF), was suggested by the American Professional Society on the Abuse by Children (APSAC).

Today, many reports of such cases are in the literature. Some mothers invent symptoms, and others induce symptoms (eg, using ipecac to induce vomiting, overdosing a child with medication, lacerating the urethra to produce hematuria). Fabricated symptoms are not observed by anyone other than the mother.

In 1995, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition (DSM-IV) included a definition for factitious disorder by proxy, which is now the accepted psychiatric category for MSBP. The definition includes the following:

Intentional production or feigning of physical or psychological signs or symptoms in another person who is under the individual's care.

The motivation for the perpetrator's behavior is to assume the sick role by proxy.

External incentives for the behavior, such as economic gain, avoiding legal responsibility, or improving physical well-being, are absent.

For excellent patient education resources, visit eMedicine's Children's Health Center and Mental Health and Behavior Center. Also, see eMedicine's patient education articles Child Abuse and Munchausen Syndrome." http://www.emedicine.com/emerg/topic830.htm

I would be sympathetic towards the victim of this and go along with it only because In some cases the parent or caregiver causes actual harm to the victim like giving the child an OD of drugs or doing the things like what as listed above. In the Field, it's hard to determine in some cases what is real and what is not. (eg, using ipecac to induce vomiting, overdosing a child with medication, lacerating the urethra to produce hematuria) I mean those things we wouldn't be able to determine in the field if is the result of munchausens or not unless there was physical evidence (like a empty bottle of ipecac found nearby) but in some cases it can be seen. Its just a tough decision on what to be sympathetic with and what not to be because a lot of times you just never know what is real and what isn't. I've truely learned alot about this disease just from everything everyone has contributed on here! I personally know a victim of Munchausens by proxy. She is still suffering even after numerous reports made by me and other people. Its just sad. Anyways if anyone else has any input on this topic, please share. I like to suck up a lot of info if i can. I'm looking into taking a lot of psych classes because the human mind fascinates me in so many ways. Take care everyone and keep posting!

SJ

I've seen so many sides to this topic and its really interesting. But when someone posted the link to the definition of Munchhausen's it opened up my eyes some. A lot of the people that fake illness or injury and call for EMS personnel, they really truly do have a real illness. I feel now that even if someone is faking, they are sick and need our help and some mental help as well. Although there isn't much we can do for them except transport and talk to them and assist in getting the help they truly need. I admit i wouldn't stick them with the biggest IV there is because I believe they should be treated like a human but then again i also believe that the abuse of the system as to stop. Faking a seizure or faking a syncope episode is a sickness in itself. But if you all get the chance, click the link to the Munchhausen's definition and it will give you a lot of info and background on why people do some of the things they do. Its not an excuse for their behavior but merely a cry for help. Everyone keep posting your ideas, opinions and stories and hopefully we can all do something in time to help these people. That's what we get paid to do. You all take care and be safe out there! Please feel free to comment on what I've said! :hello2:

My mom has ran on our department for 20 years, so about 10 years ago they had a frequent flyer that would fake seizures. Well, he had a mental illness following a car accident where him and his brother were in a car and were struck by a train trying to shimmy around the gates. His brother died on impact and he was Lifeflighted...treated...and developed this condition (He was a weirdo before it). Well he used to fake heart attacks and seizures and what not and they suspected for a long time that he was an arsonist and all this stuff. Well he got smart about it and used to pour water on himself to fake the seizure. Welll my mom used to take a lot of pride in opening up the biggest IV needle she could and using it. That same patient was so unpredictable that the sheriff would dispatch a deputy to his house for these seizures and the squad would stand by. One of the deputies always drew a gun going into the house because of the guy. That same guy started showing up at EMT's houses and faking illnesses and such until the county prosecutor stepped in. He was probably one of our most notorious "fakers" thought

that is soooo messed up. It makes me wonder why people do these things and what pleasure they get out of it. We ran a call one day for a 19 y/o girl with "Frequent episodes of fainting" First couple times we thought it was for real becaue her vitals were a little on the odd side and such. but we then kept getting calls out to her house sometime up to 15 times a week!!! We later found out that she had a fling for EMS guys and liked them touching her and feeling sorry for her. She ended up getting admitted to the psych ward.

[/font:771adc9ae9] Okay, So we have all had one call or another where the person was faking illness or injury for some attention. I've had a few myself, i just gave them the treatment my scope of practice allowed and transported cuz hey, it's not our prob anyways,we do our job,get them to the ER and let them deal with it, then we're through. Ok someone besides me thought it would be cool to start a board on some of your best stories of people who faked illness and how you treated it. so Post away! and people please dont get mad this wasn't all my idea, just a change in topics is all. okay now post away :thumbup:

Hey Jess

glad to see you posting.....i will be in Tn in July so maybe we can get together for lunch ......my cousin goes back to the VA in JC then we can work on the plan later

"paws up," that is my favorite........oh well guess i will have to change it to PAWS DOWN.........its all in the wording 8)

Later

Terri

Yeah that would be great Terri! You'll have to let me know when you'll be here so we can go hang out or something. I'll give you my cell number in a PM sometime so you can get a hold of me.

[To: All EMS Personnel From: Chief of Operations

Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.

1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to shit), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."

5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."

7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."

8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entrieswww.firehouse.com

Posted by Chief, on October 30, 2003 06:45 AM

Lol I loved that game! got a bit addicting in my 4 days of no sleep mind! [/font:a177e38b68] :violent2: