Michael

April 19, 2006

Yet another reason to hold stabilization: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4566319.stm

April 19, 2006

More than you wanted to know, at http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a980911a.html

April 19, 2006

8, 8, 8.... begging for attention does not become you....

But that's what we volly poegods do!

April 19, 2006

What name shall we come up with for those of the members of service who think that 15 years of doing volunteer EMT-B work makes them trauma surgeons?

http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7003223336

April 19, 2006

we work in a system, where we should rely on each other to reach our goals: Transporting patients to definitive care, and performing appropriate and helpful interventions on the way.

Paragods are the ones who will walk in, disregard any other healthcare provider, and only address the patient. I know I hated it when I called for ALS and was promptly ignored. Anyone can do an assessment, right?

"The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need you!' And the head cannot say to the feet, 'I don't need you!' On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."

That's from a page of a whole prescription pad addressed to the residents of the Times Square of the ancient world, Corinth, composed by a certain Saul of Tarsus, who used the handle "Paul" online.

April 18, 2006

If you find yourself unaccountably feeling bad about yourself as a result of interacting with a person to whom you meant no harm, you may have encountered someone suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. This book

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/074321427...ce&n=283155

does nice job explaining how these folks operate and what to do about it. Not a perfect account, but very good. The author's explanation is that some of us when growing up are not taught to negotiate the inevitable experience of shame that starts when we are toddlers, the age at which we learn to differentiate ourselves from a world that it often more powerful than we are. Normal development includes screwing up, feeling bad, and being soothed by caregivers in a balanced way. Individuals who are either brutally shamed by adults and then left to their own devices afterward, and individuals treated with the other extreme, that is, those who "can do no wrong," consequently never learn to "manage" the shame that is part of every child's and adult's life at one time or another. Because they cannot tolerate it, they often very skilfully "offload" their shame onto those around them. In order to feel up they must put someone else down. (Sound familiar?) One way to do this is to become proficient (or at least licensed) in techniques that make others dependent on you, like, uh, emergency medicine -- but not only emergency medicine; there are jerks in every department of life, as we all know, and emergency medicine mostly attracts people for the right reasons I hope.

A paragod sounds like a narcissist using a badge (a stethoscope can be a badge) as a shield against awareness of his own imperfection. Contrary to popular belief, this character is suffering not from an inflated sense of self, but rather lives in constant horror of being found out to be a crumb-bum, hence the posturing.

2500 years ago a fellow set out on a quest to acquire wisdom, and he found frauds and ignoramuses in all the professions. Then,

"At last I went to the artisans, for I was conscious that I knew

nothing at all, as I may say, and I was sure that they knew

many fine things; and here I was not mistaken, for they did

know many things of which I was ignorant, and in this they

certainly were wiser than I was. But I observed that even the

good artisans fell into the same error ... because

they were good workmen they thought that they also knew all

sorts of high matters, and this deceit in them overshadowed

their wisdom; and therefore I asked myself ... whether I would like to be as I was, neither having their

knowledge nor their ignorance, or like them in both; and I

made answer to myself and to the oracle that I was better off

as I was."

That was Socrates, who so annoyed the paragods of his day that they executed him. So please be careful.

April 18, 2006

How fortunate that squads volunteering wisdom are still uncontroversial. Beautifully said, 8.

April 17, 2006

$20,000.00 sounds reasonably inexpensive for such a tool

especially when compared to http://www.babycenter.com/costofchild/

April 16, 2006

But did anyone say "Do not try this at home"?

http://www.gaumard.com/customer/product.ph...cat=0&page=

April 14, 2006

http://tinyurl.com/hwehc

April 11, 2006

Uh, "somebody" didn't say that, because "somebody" didn't even notice that. Looks like "somebody else" did, though. I know a lot of NEMT test-takers who would love that kind of speedy response, and maybe even that degree of accuracy.

April 11, 2006

112. Include enough funny items in a long list to force people who should be doing other things to read them all for fear of missing a laugh. Grrrr. :wink:

April 9, 2006

Or:

Catch us while you can.

Or:

Still warm? Call us -- we're hot!

Or:

Stop us before it's too late.

(I think that last one applies to me.)

April 9, 2006

Or if there are any dual-function ambulance/hearse rigs still operating:

"At your service -- one way or the other!"

April 9, 2006

Is there anyway a company can do a motto well? Can a company motto actually come off not being tacky?

How about:

Dying to go for a ride?

April 9, 2006

Here's the deal: In case of acute dysrhythmia, dysrhymia, and/or morbidly excessive gravity, make a donation to EMT City earmarked "Emergency Poetry Treatment Fund." When a critical mass of income has accrued -- that is, in about 350 years -- I will split the take with the site, leaving a generous commission. All merchandise and service "as is."

April 8, 2006

In the time I have to spare,

I crave homage and respect.

And because I love to dare

Get tricky things correct,

Because both well and sick

Need rapid transport once per while;

Because I get a kick

Reducing others’ bile;

Because in the odd hours

While normal folks are sleeping,

Instead of candy, flowers,

I offer antidotes to weeping.

And because I like the edge,

And being treated like a hero,

With or without a badge

The fee I charge is zero.

I worry, though! They say

I’m putting good folks out of work;

On call both night and day,

I’m acting like a jerk.

They say depressing salaries

Is what I’m doing best;

I’m robbing folks of calories

To indulge my social zest.

You think I ought to quit

Supplying goods for free?

Even when thanks come quite a bit

More than I’d hoped to see?

You think I’m stirring up bad will

Unless I charge some money?

You think I ought to send a bill

For making folks feel sunny?

Okay, I know: First do no harm,

Regardless of how good

Some find my work. My name as dirt?

No. I’ll do what I should.

From now on, no more freebies;

I take too many jabs;

I get the heebie-jeebies

Being numbered with the scabs.

You want my expertise and skill?

Like any good commodity,

Henceforth you’ll get with it a bill;

I’m through being an oddity.

Higher standards, solidarity,

Dignified and fair;

Instead of playing charity

Where giving isn’t care.

I’m done donating what should cost;

I’ll charge, and you’ll know I’m

Retrieving decency I lost

On inadvertent crime.

Pros in a field I joined for fun

Who have resented me

Will gladly learn I’m not the one

To work without a fee.

I trust all are relieved to know

I’m taking down my shingle;

I’ll no more blush from feeling low;

My face will cease to tingle.

I’m turning in my tools of trade.

…Well, there’s really only one,

And it’s not meant for first-aid,

But rather verse and pun.

That is, I’ll stop this selfish game

Of writing words for free;

I’ll stop the race for glory and fame

And start to charge a fee.

Auxiliary cop or emt,

Philanthro-firefighter?

I’ll no more donate lines to thee;

My heart’s already lighter!

A volly poet? Nevermore!

The pros have changed my mind,

If you want laughs, come to my store

And buy my verses rhymed.

April 3, 2006

Ah, rebuttals, or at least explanations.

1. I learned to point at my wrist when asking a stranger what time it is on a noisy, busy city street so that s/he wouldn't mistake my question for "Do you have a dime?"

3. The original thought was "Eat your cake and [then] have it." Outside emesis, wishful thinking.

4. The original thought was "...last place you would look."

5. True love. Your neighbor wants to make sure you benefited from the view and is ready to explain what you missed.

6. At the supermarket, Sam runs into the lawyer who lives next door. "Say, George, how are you?" "Fine." "George, how much do you lawyers charge?" "Three questions for $200." "Wow. That's pretty steep, isn't it?" "Yup. That'll be $200."

7. You're right.

8. "What the Hell" is exactly what some people may have in mind.

9. You're right again (So what else is new?)

April 2, 2006

I happen to feel that the degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes she can bring to bear on the same topic. -- Lisa Alther

Topic hijack! Topic hijack! Well, not really, since your funnies rely on your signature. Well, not your signature, Lisa Alther's signature. Well, not even Lisa Alther's signature.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -- Aristotle (384-322 BC) Okay, back to rulership.

April 2, 2006