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Michael

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Posts posted by Michael

  1. The office was closed ( for Aardvark day)

    [T]he aardvark is cautious upon leaving its burrow. It comes to the entrance and stands there motionless for several minutes. Then it suddenly leaps out in powerful jumps. At about 30 feet out it stops, raises up on its legs, perks up its ears and turns its head in all directions. If there are no sounds, it makes a few more leaps and finally moves at a slow trot to look for food.

    When in danger the aardvark takes to the nearest hole, or rapidly excavates one, pushing the dirt backwards with its feet and moving the dirt away with its tail. But if cornered, it defends itself by sitting up, using its tail, shoulders and foreclaws - or it will lie on its back and strike with all four feet.

    Although not thought to be teritorial, females seem to become attached to a particular place.

    Any questions?

  2. So what did you do to tell them different? Nothing? That's on you. I'm not saying you have to take a job as a school teacher but when someone is wrong, correct them.

    Okay, I will: Each episode was over so quickly that there was no opportunity, nor need, to react. The fellow mistaking me for a traffic cop disappeared before I'd realized what had happened (as I wrote in my post). The threats were shouted as the shouters were in transit, therefore not my problem. Some hostility doesn't merit much of a response, except to say:

    Thanks for your interest.

  3. I remember this one sweet 75 year old lady, used to volunteer her time down at the local library teaching kids to read in her off time. Provded a real public service, got no compensation in return. How come she never wore a t-shirt that said something like LITERACY/ILLITERACY: I AM THE DIFFERENCE

    Answer: None of her prospective clients could read it? Just a guess :wink:

  4. Really? Wow. New York Magazine once held a competition for the Three Biggest Lies, on the model of "The check's in the mail." One of the entries was this sequence, put into the mouth of a waiter in a Chinese restaurant:

    1) No MSG.

    2) No, no MSG!

    3) You be okay.

  5. This is great! I always knew that sarcasm was an indicator of higher mental function (hence the involvement of the more recently evolved parts of the brain). Is there a correlation between large foreheads=large frontal lobes=extreme sarcastic tendencies? :wink:

    Not sure if it works that way, but the reverse holds. I have a friend whose plastic surgeon did a beautiful job of fixing up his cheek after my friend discovered that his Pekingese had no sense of irony.

  6. Proving once again just how clueless the average citizen is.

    Unintentional impersonation can be accomplished even without a badge. I used to carry in my pocket a small pad of paper to jot down thoughts as they came to me, so as not to lose them. (Perhaps I was unconsciously preparing for this forum.) I would stop whatever I was doing, wherever I was, and jot, then pocket my pad and go on with life. Once in the city I happened to be wearing a mid-thigh-length navy-blue jacket when I thought of something I wanted to write down, so I stepped out of the pedestrian rush, and, standing at the curbside, started to scribble on my 3x5 pad. I was startled out of my reverie by a man who appeared literally in my face, pleading that I not give him a parking ticket! In my confusion I mistook his ingratiating smile as a sign that he was just playing, so I smiled back and nodded, whereupon, he thanked me profusely and disappeared before I could realize he had really taken me for a cop. We both left his car illegally parked... Two other times I was threatened with violence as a result of this habit of public journaling, by young men who saw me writing and were sure I must have been in some way recording something they were doing wrong, when in fact I hadn't noticed them until they started to curse me out. Funny old world.

  7. Just found this. The short words I figured out.

    The Prescription

    Said the chemist: "I'll take some dimethyloximodomesordamide

    And I'll add just a dash of dimethylamidoazobenzaldehyde;

    But if these won't mix,

    I'll just have to fix

    Up a big dose of trisodiumpholoroglucintricarboxycide."

  8. You definitely will not lighten the mood here by bringing up religion. :wink:

    I just learned from John [baron Tweedsmuir] Buchan (1875-1940) that

    "An atheist is man who has no invisible means of support"

    and somehow my thoughts turned here...

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