crotchitymedic1986

Lets take a lighthearted look at ourselves --- What things do we do in our industry that are absolutely stupid ? For instance ---- it is absolutely taboo to roll someone backwards on a stretcher to or from the truck (head first instead of feet first), but then they ride backwards all the way to the hospital.

The King has been creeping me out in his commercials -- i will leave you an original Captian Kirk Lunch box

Leave it, as a medic, i am not allowed to believe in sunshine. Leaving a LARGE Marie Calendar's Chicken Pot Pie, fully cooked.

stupid is as stupid does ......

now thats funny --- damn funny --- i dont know, i am still trying to figure out how to keep the "weave" attached to the mane and tale

A man with leprocy (if you dont know what it is, you wont get the joke) was told by the leper colony doctor that he only had a few weeks to live. His name was Joe, and he was well liked by the other lepers. One of his friends asked him if he had any last wishes during his last few weeks. Joe replies, yes i do, but it could never come true. I am originally from Arizona, and I love baseball. Unfortunately, I have never had the chance to see the Diamondbacks play in person, I have only seen them on tv. My dream would be to go to a home game and watch them play. Joe's friend says I have lots of money, I can make it happen. Joe says i cant go out in public looking like this, it would cause a panic (all but one of his fingers had already fallen off, and he smelled pretty bad). His friend says yes, you are probably right, but let me think about it. The next day, Joes friend comes to him, and says I have figured it out, I know how we can go to the game: We will cover you from head to toe in clothing, a big floppy hat, glasses, trench coat, and we will wait until the third inning to go in the stadium, by then we want have to wait in line. Once inside the field, we will wait until there is a big play and everyone stands up to cheer, to walk to our seats, no one will notice you, and if they do, they wont be able to see anything that might gross them out. Joe says you know, thats a damn good plan. Joes friend says i have already booked the flight, the tickets to the game, the hotel, and the limo, we leave Tuesday. So they followed their plan and it worked, they got to their seats without any problems. What they didnt factor in was that it was July in Arizona, and it was brutally hot the day of the game. By the fifth inning Joe was feeling horrible and told his friend we are gonna have to leave, I cant take this heat and all these clothes. His friend says hang on, lets keep working our plan. Wait until the next big play, when everyone stands, we will take off that heavy coat and scarf, and that will help. So thats what they did, and it worked out fine -- everyone around him was watching the game, and no one noticed that he had disrobed a little. Then a young boy who was sitting in front of Joe, turned to look at the scoreboard behind them, and he saw Joe. The boy immediately vomited all over his seat, the boys dad turns around, sees the same thing, starts vomiting, then everyone in that row looked around and started to vomit. Before long the whole section was vomiting. When the dad/son regained their composure, Joe apologized to them, saying I am so sorry I ruined your day, but i only have a few weeks to live and this was my dieing wish. I will be happy to buy you and your son tickets for a future game, I am so sorry that I came here, I knew I shouldnt have come to a public event with my hideous appearence. The dad says, oh no, it wasnt you --- it was the guy behind you dipping nachos into your neck.

What is heard in an Mississippi EMT's bedroom just before sex: "Get off me daddy, you squishing my cigarettes"

Now that we have an African American President, we can finally break that last barrier that whitie has held too long --- we can finally start purchasing horses and race them at whities track. Of course we will have more colorful names for our horses, here are some likely names, i look forward to your suggestions (yes I am an AA with a sense of humor: Eightball Section 8 On no you diiiiiddddddnnnnnnttt Malt Liquor Jerri curl I wished a muther f***er would Eldorado Escalade Shaquita Whaaazzzz up East Side West Side Crunk Slapabit*h Blount punkin or peaches Sha-na-na

or my personal favorite....................... I like big butts, and i can not lie, other brothers might deny

Who let the dogs out ?????????????

Kaisu, its ok to be a scared newbie, no matter how good your school was there is no way to prepare you for every situation you will face in the field. If you continue to study, learn from yours and other's calls, you will be fine. And when you feel the pucker factor remember these simple rules: 1. ABC always works, if you take care of that regardless of symptoms you and the patient will be fine. 2. Patients do not get brain damage because Paramedics fail to intubate them, they get brain damage because paramedics do not venitlate them. One day you will be an intubating god, but if you are still unable at this point due to lack of confidence -- just make sure you ventilate them well. 3. When you dont have a clue whats going on, transport them -- its never wrong to transport. 4. Trust your gut. And when you get a chance, try to get an ER job (paid or volunteer), you will learn more in a month there than you will in 2 years in the field. Being able to see a patient from start to end, signs and symptoms, how the doctor's made treatment decisions, and what the outcome was will help you immensley in the field.

Umstudent is dead on. No matter how much education or years of experience you have, there is always that handfull of patients each year who didnt get transported on the first request and either they go to the ER on their own and are found to have a serious problem, are transported by another ambulance on second request -- after getting worse, or die at home. And those of you who have worked an ER job, and have had to treat the patients that ambulance crews leave behind know what i am talking about (when you work an ER you usually get to see 5-6 counties of population, whereas if you dont work ER, you may only be familiar with your services mistakes -- since we dont advertise them). You have to have lab and radiology to know for sure. Like I said in another post, the AMR study that found that 2% of all patients not transported (refusal or not needed) are admitted to ICU and 1% die is accurate. You figure out what that means for your services call volume: Number Not Transported ICU Admits Deaths 1000 20 10 2500 50 25 5000 100 50 10,000 200 100 But you can still claim that "hey we were right 98% of the time", but that 2% of wrong can cost you alot of money

well said, and well thought out -- good job. But what happens at 3am when you have that lazy medic who would rather be back in his bed ?

Without seeing the patient it is hard to say, but since he died i am guessing he wasnt A&O with great color and vital signs. As one of the previous posters stated, it takes 3cc of fluid to replace 1cc of blood and you stated there was atleast 1500 cc lost (I missed that during my first read of your post). If he was alert, then orthostatic vital signs might have painted a better picture for you -- if he was altered, they should have been much more aggressive. I dont remember reading about your "scene" times, only that you had a short transport time. I probably would have ran in 1000-1500 via pressure bag or pump with that much blood loss, and then reevalutated the patient. If no one has told you -- the bowel movement in your pants is an ominous sign in healthy adults (not nursing home pts persae) that cardiac arrest is near. Does it always mean they are going to die -no, but it should get your attention.

Brethine is a good drug --- if you dont have it, you should add Xopenex and Atrovent to your aerosol aresenal.

ddddoooooooopppppppppppp -- got to learn how to type -- that should be 5 MCG not mg

If someone has already posted this previously, i apologize. I offer you an easy way to differentiate the four main heartblocks for your ACLS or Paramedic test. It is called the CICI's Pizza Method (I realize many have not heard of this chain of restaurants, but it helps you remember). Write C I C I vertically on your paper, then write your blocks in order beside it 1-3rd degree: C 1st degree I 2nd type 1 (wenkebach) C 2nd type 2 I 3rd degree "C" stands for consistent PR interval --- so if your PR interval is consistent, the rhythm is either type 1 (which just has a longer pr interval) or it is 2nd type 2 -- where there are more than one p-wave, but the p waves march out and stay consistent. "I" stands for inconsistent PR interval -- if your PR interval is inconsistent then it is either 2nd type 1, which would be indicated by a dropped QRS, or it is 3rd degree which would be indicated by multiple random "p" waves that do not relate to the QRS *** In real life, patients may go back and forth from one block to another as you monitor them. This is to help you pass your test only. It helps you whittle it down until you get very familiar with the blocks.

I have been doing this so long, i have most of them memorized -- but here is an easy way to remember dopamine, which is usually the hardest --- multiply everything together / divide by concentration. Example, give 5mg for 80kg pt : 5mg x 80kg x 60minutes = 24000 / divided by concentration of dopamine (my truck was 1600) = 15

way to go mateo -- you hit it on the head. The clue was the new exercise routine, which also included a new crazy fad diet (at 3am i didnt think to ask about that). His potassium bottomed out which caused the muscle weakness and arrythmia. A little KCL in his IVbag and he was as good as new.

yes delta, it is nice to have all the information.

i hear you, but please humor me -- give me your top 5 you would no longer transport under any circumstance

I feel your frustration -- but the problem comes in "where do you draw the line". You could make a legitimate arguement that over 90% of the people who call 911 are not experiencing a life-threatening emergency and would survive a trip to the ER or doctor in their car. But lets just wave the magic wand for a much smaller percentage than that ---If your services call-volume dropped by 20-30% (once everyone is educated to only call for emergencies) over the next year, do you honestly believe you would not feel some cuts in service. Look around at fire departments that have done such a good job in code enforcement and education, that they had to close fire stations due to lack of fires. Where would you draw the lines --- kids with fever, isolated upper extremity fractures, cold/flu, chronic illnesses/pain, abdominal pain, UTIs, Migraine HAs --- who would you refuse to transport ----- and would it matter if you were a taxpayor funded system and the person had no transportation (assume its rural and there is no transit system). Not argueing with you, just wondering how you are gonna implement your plan ?

well then, i would schedule some training for those medics, because they obviously didnt know the signs and symptoms of someone who was bleeding to death.

I don't have to tell you people, times are tough. You read the papers. The country's going to hell. Now you take inflation. Recession. Welfare. Harry Fishbine - mother, jugs, and speed.

take the oil, leaving an x-rated version of charlie brown, where linus, charlie, and pigpen gangbang the red-headed girl