Kiwiology

Just don't do it on the station computer

Now, I can't be all harsh and shit on ASNSW, they have done some good things like ... - SCAT and Ambulance Rescue (the difference I have not figured out. nor do I understand what makes Ambulance Rescue and Police Rescue different in NSW, who knows?) - GSA HEMS, those blokes are seriously badass - PTO and Paramedic have separate uniform (can we PLEASE do to that here?) - Motorcycle response unit

Well yeah, I thought those were just standard and covered during day 1? lol

Top reasons why working for ASNSW is clearly a sign of mental illness .... - Too much blue (uniforms and gloves are both totally 100% blue) - Old school stretchers from at least 10 years ago (Stryker FTW!) - Not requiring a University Degree (I hear its being worked on) - Still having "Protocols" instead of guidelines which in my reading are quite restrictive - From what I understand non-transport is not an option, if the patient wants to go they must be taken - Um, its NSW?

True that, I mean the only pr0nz you likely to find on FoxTel is that soft core pay-per-view shit, best to just deny all knowledge of that right there. The only thing that really surprised me was how incredibly hungry I got on 12 hour shifts I mean WOW! for a skinny rake little fucker I would just eat like a bloody horse and was always wolfing down something whenever I got the chance. It can also get pretty boring if you are not doing anything; the day tends to be fairly regular whereas at night you can go hours without a job and unless there is something decent on TV you are pretty fucked if some doucheface is hogging the station computer and unfortunately it would look too suspect for him to drop dead and to get the suxamethonium out the fridge might attract attention ... so I recently rediscovered lost past time of teh reading, and its like some sort of intellectual orgasm.

True that shit, while a bunch of drunks and vomiting all over themselves and trying to deck you, somewhere, Nana is laying on the kitchen floor having NOF'd herself because she doesn't want to push her medical button .... I need to get a taser or some shit, be like who in the hell do you think you are talking to me like that and oh oh oh whats this now you want to get it on well now sir, sir, lets not, sir, ha! eat taser bitch! .... now while you flop round like the drunken bitch that you are ima have the cops come get you while we nick off round the corner and pick up Nana mwahahaha!

I already knew the world was fucked in the head and that people are generally bastards (with some nice people thrown in for good measure) and such. 12 hour shifts are a bit of a bitch, granted, but the four days off are pretty badass. 16 hours in 24? Hahahaha, what the fuck, who on earth came up with that should be forced to actually work 16 hours, drive home, get a couple hours sleep then wake up, drive to some random address and do a bunch of drug calculations ... that's crazy dangerous. Locally the Land Transport Act limits are 13 hours in a 24 hour period with no more than 5.5 hours at work without a 30 minute break, yes, for our purposes, sitting at the station on your arse watching TV waiting for a job counts as work! Bushman, what the fuck man, don't they have FoxTel on Demand so you can record you pr0nz or something for after work?

They even haz New Zed chapter, not that it is very active. There is debate here as to who will become the regulatory body for Paramedics when they are included in Health Practitioner Act next year.

Nice story but there are only about 2 people here from Australia and I doubt they are PA members so um yeah, not sure if anybody is really going to take a hell of a lot of notice mate ...

I like my eggs scrambled or poached on toast Fried eggs would go well with my fried noggin but ew, fried eggs taste nasty

This is true, I mean technically I could teach what is really essential to know to do the job in maybe a year full time? Like 8 hours a day, 3 days a week? I reckon I could do that .... but where is the good in doing that, the people coming out of that would be so deficient in knowledge above simple behaviouristic responses to standardised stimuli and a little differential diagnosis thrown in that it'd probably be criminal!

Shame that 120 hours couldn't cover spelling correctly, seeing as how filling in patient report forms (which are legal documents) is an important part of an Ambulance Officers' job.

Touche, Emergentologist. I should sue my Psychiatrist, whatever she is doing, it aint workin' ....

Assaults on Paramedics is quite common in UK and its getting pretty bad in NZ and AU; in fact in UK Paramedics have been issued with stab vests. Oh and Doc if it makes you feel better, I once heard a Medical School Professor describe an Emergency Physician as a highly trained GP with advanced resuscitation skills, probably not far from the truth ....

A competent patient has the right to refuse treatment and/or transport, including life saving treatment. based upon informed choice. A patient is deemed competent until proven otherwise. There is nothing in the presentation of this patient which makes me question competency. Those of you who advocate that you somehow force him into going, while acting in the best interest of the patient, are ignoring that he has the right to make an informed choice about health care. The idea that you would go against such a fundamental patient right make me want to bleed vomit from my eyes and become so enraged that I have some sort of massive fucking stroke and normally I would go on some sort of long, deranged, deconstructive rant, berade you with a plethora of funny Kiwi speak and foul language and such ... ... but its time for my bedtime valiumz, uppers, downers and smoother-outers Why I simply nominate you as my medical director, viola, immediate transfer of liability and I am off the hook I told you that anaesthetist was a better choice; unconscious patients find it hard to sue.

Oh my god, this shit makes me want to bleed from my eyes and gets me so enraged I have some sort of black out and when I wake up somebody is covered in blood and I've got no idea what the fuck happened. A proper abdominal examination includes inspection, palpation, percussion and auscultation and there is no reason why you shouldn't be performing such a proper examination on somebody who is complaining of abdominal pain, spinal injury or not. The only thing you really shouldn't be doing is rebound tenderness which is no longer useful. If you are going to examine your patient please do it properly, but hey I forget "Paramedics aren't Doctors!" and hell, why even teach the Doctors how to do an abdominal exam, they can just put everybody in the CT machine right? Now if you excuse me, it's time for my bedtime valiumz and various other uppers, downers and smoother-outers; I think i'd better get my Doctor to start me on some HTN medicines too, this place is not good for my blood pressure ...

I am not a goat, I am a Kiwi who is destroyed on valiumz with a .357 Smith and Wesson Magnum N frame and will lob a few rounds from my hand cannon into them damn trolls. I mean its not like they are even up to admitting they are fucked in the head and scoff down a cocktail of uppers to make life barely palatable jeez ... Ambulance Oscar 5 Handheld, um, can somebody bring me a towel or something, there seems to be a bit of a mess to clean up here ...

I know the work cycles are a problem for some people; there are all sorts of combinations of rosters depending on who and where you are, I've seen 24 on, 48 off, 4 on, 4 off, 3 on 2 off, 2 on, 3 off, Monday to Friday, days only, nights only, days and nights, coloured shifts, numbered shifts and everything in between. Locally in New Zed it's predominantly 2 days on, 2 nights on then 4 days off although that does vary in some of the smaller towns it can be days only with 100% on call nights, days only with 50% on call nights or some combination inbetween.

That's fucked up Although, having said that, it is technically possible to get away with a Technician and an Ambulance Assistant who is on the Diploma here as the second crew member. They have like a 5 day course (old Primary Care/Elementary Ambulance Aid) and are essentially an Advanced First Aider who can drive and use standard ambulance equipment such as combi carrier, nebulisers, tourniquet, blood pressure measurement under direction of somebody with an ATP.

Takes about 9 months to a year for somebody to complete the National Diploma in Ambulance Practice and get the required clinical experience to challenge for Authority to Practice as an Emergency Medical Technician here in New Zed ... and yet you say it takes 9 months like its a bad thing?

Mike is correct, it was consensus of the 1990 working group into EMS education in the US that top priorities included "Emphasize an assessment-based format rather than a diagnostic-based format" and that the EMT-Basic course must not exceed 110 hours. Now, I am hardly one to talk given that in 1990 the NZ Proficiency Ambulance Aid Certificate was only 240 hours and authorised competencies included oxygen, entonox, aspirin, oral glucose and salbutamol ... but still.

The Ambulance Service has professional indemnity insurance which covers not only the Ambulance Officers concerned but also the Service itself from vicarious liability. I do not think the Ambulance Service has ever been sued, ever, for anything.

What in the hell is a "video" and why are people in Canada renting them?

I find it interesting that you (in France) are not protected legally if a competent patient makes an informed declination of treatment and/or transport. Here in New Zed we have the Health and Disability Consumer Rights Act or near equivalent title (I forget exactly) which indemnifies the practitioner provided they were not grossly negligent in determining competency. A competent person always has the right to decline any treatment, including life saving treatment.

I ran into a guy who used to beat me up at school, it was like 90 degrees (summer) so I bought him a pink strawberry milkshake, I put some suxamethonium in it ... cheaper than a t shirt