Open Letter From A Paramedic to a newspaper

[PRPGfirerescuetech]

Seen something similar to this before, but it's still always a gem & so much nicer than I would care to phrase it sometimes...

Open Letter From A Paramedic

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Date: 2007-06-05, 7:31PM PDT

Dear citizens of (and visitors to) Multnomah County,

By and large, you're a good bunch. I enjoy providing you with the help you need when you call 911. You make my workdays (and nights) interesting. However, from time to time, I notice a few small issues -- perhaps we can call them gaps in your knowledge? -- that make my job a little bit more frustrating. Herein I offer a few simple pieces of advice to help make everyone's emergency experience more satisfying.

1. When I ask you questions, please strive to tell me the full and complete truth. There's no badge or gun on me. I'm not going to get you in trouble for being high on drugs, but I really would like to know what exactly you did. You're not fooling anyone. Likewise, I don't care who you were having sex with, where, with what exciting accessories, and what your respective spouses will think, but if it's contributed to your condition you should probably bring it up.

2. I regret to inform you life is not like TV. We do not run from the ambulance to the patient, we do not drive everyone to the hospital with lights and sirens, and most dead people stay dead despite our best efforts. On the other hand, we are not just a fancy taxi ride. I can start an IV (in your arm or leg or neck), put a breathing tube down your throat, do an EKG to see if you're having a heart attack, shock your heart if it's in a bad rhythm, and give about thirty different drugs for different medical conditions. I can do more in the short term than most nurses. I had to go to school for years. Respect me and I'll respect you.

3. In a related vein, if you could keep the drama to a bare minimum when your parent/sibling/spouse/friend/neighbor/coworker is hurt or sick, it will help everyone immensely. I understand that the situation is upsetting, and I respect your feelings, but the best thing you can do for the patient, me, and even yourself is try to remain as calm as possible. Shouting at me to do something or hurry up will not help. Yelling in general is not, in fact, helpful. Trying to keep out of our way, answering the questions we ask in a succinct and informative manner, and keeping your dramatic tendencies restrained are the absolute best thing you can do.

4. However, if it is your young child who is badly hurt or critically ill, you are allowed all the drama you want.

5. If I am trying to help you and this makes you upset for some reason, please do not try and hit me. I may not be as big and beefy as some of my coworkers. I make up for it in dirty tricks. If you do decide you'd like to tussle, I'd like to point out that you get ONE swing and it is never free. I have giant zip-ties, sedatives, and a radio that can call a whole lot of cops, who aren't nearly as nice as me.

6. If you are driving and happen to see my big vehicle with all the blinkies and woo-woos, please get the hell out of the way. Specifically, pull ALL THE WAY to the right of the street and STOP YOUR CAR. You don't know where I'm going and when I'll need to turn. Unless you're driving a Hummer I've probably got more weight than you, and if you do something stupid that I can't avoid and we stack it up, things won't come out well for you. Also I'll lose my job.

7. Finally, exercise a modicum of common sense about when to call 911.

Examples of when 911 is IS appropriate: Traffic accidents with injuries. Chest pain. Trouble breathing. Lack of breathing. Serious bleeding. Unconsciousness. Seizures. Strokes.

Examples of when 911 may NOT be appropriate: Blisters. Small cuts. Dissatisfaction with your fast food order. Needing a prescription refill. Colds. Minor problem (sore leg, stomachache) which has been going on for three days.

Bearing all that in mind, it's a pleasure to serve you, and hopefully I won't be showing up at your doorstep, street corner, or car door anytime soon.

Love,

One of Your Many Hardworking (If Underpaid) County Paramedics

[Dustdevil]

4. However, if it is your young child who is badly hurt or critically ill, you are allowed all the drama you want.

Meh... I'm not particularly fond of this one. When you start making exceptions and allowances for drama, you open the floodgates. My child is no more worthy of drama than my wife, parents, and grandparents, all of which I have spent considerably more time with than my kids. And considering that my parents and grandparents spent their lives giving to me, they have earned more respect than my children have.

Don't give me drama at all. No exceptions.

[chaser]

.... My child is no more worthy ... No exceptions....

Hmmm, DQ. I think you may reconsider. I could be wrong, but kids...., always a different ballpark. You tell me in a few years if this is true.

[brentoli]

DUST IS INSENSITIVE! (wanted to say it first)

I understand, but I don't at the same time.

I think we all know the international sign language for "I'm the mom" *pats chest... points at kid*

I don't have children, thank goodness, only being 22. However, when something comes from your loins I am sure there is a greater attachment. We have to remember, we are a family practitioner as well. We need to work at subduing the family members, because it will only make the situation better for all involved.

[spenac]

. We need to work at subduing the family members, because it will only make the situation better for all involved.

What do you recommend? Sucs, valium, morphine? Just want to make sure on the same page for subduing as everyone else. :twisted:

[cosgrojo]

If anything, this letter probably reminded a couple of frequent fliers that they haven't dialed 911 in a while... boy those hospital meals are tasty!

[Just Plain Ruff]

I either prefer the taser or a well placed sedative shot from an officers gun at 10 paces.

[AZCEP]

Hmmm, DQ. I think you may reconsider. I could be wrong, but kids...., always a different ballpark. You tell me in a few years if this is true.

Don't think for a moment that Dust will reconsider anything. Yes, kids are different. They are significantly more resilient to the stupid things they will do, and others will do to them. When the environment goes to hell around them, they pick up on it much faster. You want a kid to lose faith in your ability, have anyone near them become an emotional mess.

When this happens the entire scene degenerates right in front of you. I would add to #4 that if they are going to become an emotional wreck, feel free to vacate the premises. We will handle your child just fine without you there.

[spenac]

I either prefer the taser or a well placed sedative shot from an officers gun at 10 paces.

Sounds good if your protocols allow it.

[Yummymedic05]

Don't think for a moment that Dust will reconsider anything. Yes, kids are different. They are significantly more resilient to the stupid things they will do, and others will do to them. When the environment goes to hell around them, they pick up on it much faster. You want a kid to lose faith in your ability, have anyone near them become an emotional mess.

When this happens the entire scene degenerates right in front of you. I would add to #4 that if they are going to become an emotional wreck, feel free to vacate the premises. We will handle your child just fine without you there.

=D> I'm glad i'm not the only one who feels this way.