Funerals

[Just Plain Ruff]

Goodness, Yanni and Karunesh are getting to me

Recently my grandfather passed away after a long battle with cancer. At his funeral were the ambulance crew that transported him to hospice as well as one of the hospice nurses.

My question to the group is this:

Have you attended a patients funeral and when do you think it is appropriate to go.

I have been to 3 funerals because I just never felt comfortable to go to them but I know of other medics who go to every one of their patients funerals.

Is there a common ground or rule of thumb that you go by in determining whether to go to a funeral of a former patient or not?

Discuss

[ladyfirefighter36]

I have gone before. Mostly because I am in a small community and almost everyone I transport, I know. I grew up knowing them and their families.

There have been a couple that I have attended, that I did not know well. The family was very grateful to see us. They expressed their appreciation for our support.

[Ridryder 911]

I would miss too many days if I attended all the funerals of the patients I cared for. ( Man, that sounded bad ! :shock: )

Personally, I have never attended any unless I personally know them. I draw the line between empathy and sympathy. Nothing against those that want to attend, just my personal decision of not mixing professional life and personal life. I know of many nurses that have attended those that died, especially of those that cared for them a long or multiple times. Many times, we in EMS and nursing see patients far longer and more often than family members.

R/r 911

[flopeyeman]

I have only been involved in one and it was an older lady that I had transported several time she was not a "frequent flyer" she was a legitimate emergency every time and the family asked me to stand by at the home while the funeral was going on remember in rural areas the viewing is done at home some times (old fashioned way) and I was deeply honored the practice of having some one at the home while the funeral is going on is usually reserved for a close family friend

[kevkei]

I've never been. That is not to say I never would, but I think that there would need to be some unique or extenuating circumstances to guide me to wanting to attend.

If people do choose to go, I would hope that they exercise caution and respect and try to keep a low profile and not arrive in uniform (I've heard it's been done).

[fire911medic]

I've been to two patient's funerals, and yes I went in uniform and I felt it was entirely appropriate. The first was that of a patient we worked incredibly hard to save and his parents personally thanked my partner and I and requested our presence there. It was the first time I had ever attended one and I was in uniform simply because I was on duty, we were short staffed and I didn't have the luxury of taking off. I did however turn my radio down and call my truck out of service for a bit as a courtesy. The second funeral was that of a fellow EMS worker's father which I had also worked. All of us from the department went in uniform as a show of support which we were told was greatly appreciated. As far as generic patients though, no I've not gone as I don't feel it's my place unless I know them personally aside from professionally as I try to keep my life separate.

[Richard B the EMT]

I have attended the funerals of patients, but only those known to me from off the job. As for members of the service, or their family members, I try to attend, in my "Class 'A' Dress" uniform.

[Asysin2leads]

Nope, haven't gone, don't plan on going to one. You see, I do this as a job. My personal feelings and attachments stay at home. Besides, if you go to a patient's funeral in uniform, you're taking the attention off the deceased and placing it on yourself, which is just tacky.

[Richard B the EMT]

Perhaps a clarification:

"I have attended the funerals of patients, but only those known to me from off the job."

Those, I do not go in uniform.

"As for members of the service, or their family members, I try to attend, in my "Class 'A' Dress" uniform."

I will probably not be the only one in uniform, and we probably will be standing or sitting in some kind of official departmental formation.

[Dooger]

I've attended only one patient funeral... she was also a personal friend, so I went as a friend not in any sort of a professional capacity.