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#1medicswife

new here, can anyone relate or offer advice?

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I'm gonna take another slant on this and I hope you don't take it wrong.

Your boyfriend needs to stand up and say he's not gonna take shifts 7 days a week 12 hours a day.

working 84 hours a week, being so dang tired that he does nothing at home except catch up on sleep. That's a dangerous situation waiting to happen. I've been right there and it ended up with a 3 day stay in the hospital for exhaustion and electrolyte imbalance.

He needs to stop saying no, there is no way that his current employer is going to say no for him. They look at it this way, if he's willing to work that many hours then we'll let him. It doesn't sound like his employer has his best or even not so best interests at heart.

Sure they are paying over time and all that but they look at the over time they are paying and they say, we can pay this overtime and not have to hire someone else to cover the shifts that this guy wont' work.

Not to be mean but your boyfriends priorities are skewed.

Like others have said, the shifts will get covered, the calls will get run even if superman isn't there working those 84 hours that week.

Lack of sleep is a consistent issue and it is proven that lack of sleep causes lapses in judgement, errors and medicine errors. If you are so tired that all you do is come home and sleep and neglect your family because you think you have to work those shifts then there is a problem.

Good luck to you and him, sounds like you are in for a long rough road.

Write him that letter, tell him how you feel. Tell him of your concerns and let him know that he doesn't have to work all the time to support the two of you. I guarantee if you had at least one or two days off a week you both would be happier and he would actually be awake to see his kiddo do the things that matter. In the end, family matters, nobody ever said on their tombstone "I wish I had more time to spend at the office" but you do see sometimes "I wish I had more time to spend with my family"

I've lived your life my lady, my wife threatened to leave me if I didn't take more time off. Guess what choice I made? If if helps, I just celebrated my 13th anniversary today.

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"long story short, he doesn't do well with kids"

I would never leave my child with someone who won't do well with them, nor would I date someone like that. Children are important, and working in EMS you see all sorts of crap that happens to children who are left with irresponsible caregivers (if they are giving care at all).

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After reading this post, I had some of the same questions..... even when i was 20 years younger i did not work 12 hours a day 7 days a week... that is just tooo tooo much.

3 or 4,,, maybe 5 12 hour shifts a week are plenty.... tell him to tell his bosses to cut back, or find a job that pays a little better,,,,

but you can only burn a candle at both ends for just so long, before, the candle burns out, and all the wax is gone.

Good luck,

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"long story short, he doesn't do well with kids"

I would never leave my child with someone who won't do well with them, nor would I date someone like that. Children are important, and working in EMS you see all sorts of crap that happens to children who are left with irresponsible caregivers (if they are giving care at all).

Okay so with out spilling my guts here...... he is appropriate with my son but doesn't like having to babysit him....

If I thought for an instant that my son was in danger I NEVER would leave him with my son period...... Yeah I know about the crap we see I saw it first hand with my sons father when I was working. no food and a bottle of water for child less than a year old.... yeah thats why I left the bastard.....

All I am saying is he doesn't like it when he has to watch my son.....

I guess I didn't word it right......

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LMAO!! :D

I was going to penalise little_red_EMT_chick 5 points for reviving a year-old topic, but after reading her post, she actually had something constructive to say that warranted it.

But now, I'm afraid I can't be so kind to all the other people who have gone back to commenting on the year-old original post.

dfa0e4c1b1.jpg

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she actually had something constructive to say that warranted it

Just curious, what was that?

I just celebrated my 13th anniversary today.

Well, somethings are worth a comment. Happy Anniversary Ruff! Congrats :D

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sorry for the double post, I was going to hold my tongue, but couldn't.........

...I guess I didn't word it right......
I would say so, as your post is extremely disturbing for many reasons.

.. he is appropriate with my son but doesn't like having to babysit him..
What does this mean? Define appropriate in terms of caring for your child. He won't bash him against the wall for crying but will change diapers? The child gets water every 3 hours but he won't feed him? Where do you draw the line?

... Yeah I know about the crap we see I saw it first hand with my sons father when I was working. no food and a bottle of water for child less than a year old.... yeah that's why I left the bastard....
You stated you have seen and experienced this before, therefore you should recognize red flags when you see them.

... I don't make enough to make it worth while to him anyway....
I have no clue what this means, would he care more for your child if you made more money? Regardless, this is no way relevant. He is either part of the family and cares for the family, or not.

I realize I am being harsh with you, but I feel it is justified. Wake up and put your child first.

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LMAO!! :D

I was going to penalise little_red_EMT_chick 5 points for reviving a year-old topic, but after reading her post, she actually had something constructive to say that warranted it.

But now, I'm afraid I can't be so kind to all the other people who have gone back to commenting on the year-old original post.

dfa0e4c1b1.jpg

Hey Dust, I just want to thank you for making me laugh tonight. I really needed it as today has been so shitty.

Thanks again for the laugh!! :lol:

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sorry for the double post, I was going to hold my tongue, but couldn't.........

I would say so, as your post is extremely disturbing for many reasons.

What does this mean? Define appropriate in terms of caring for your child. He won't bash him against the wall for crying but will change diapers? The child gets water every 3 hours but he won't feed him? Where do you draw the line?

You stated you have seen and experienced this before, therefore you should recognize red flags when you see them.

I have no clue what this means, would he care more for your child if you made more money? Regardless, this is no way relevant. He is either part of the family and cares for the family, or not.

I realize I am being harsh with you, but I feel it is justified. Wake up and put your child first.

Okay before you go being a critic let me explain something to you.....

The man I am with now IS NOT my sons bio dad..... My sons bio dad was the bastard that wouldn't feed him or change him when I was at work and when I caught on I left with my son.....

My current boy friend doesn't like the fact that I went from CNA wages... $10/hr to $5.35/ hr as an EMT..... because he knows I have to work more hours to make the same money and I am away from my son more...

My son is also 8 years old..... no more diapers....

My BF has never hit my son or been physically abusive in any way, nor has he been abusive in any other way.

My conclusion is this..... my BF would rather I be around for my son and for him rather that be and EMT and work the long hours associated with this profession..... and well lets face it in Wyoming the low pay doesn't help.

If you have anything else you would like to "discuss" please start a new thread or send me a private message, because I never meant to high jack this thread in the first place..... Thanks.

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This thread is quite old. Please consider starting a new thread rather than reviving this one.

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