Stupid things you've said on calls

[NYAEMT-I]

This wasn't exactly something said, but my partner and I were on a taxi ride run one day. After we get the patient loaded in the back of the ambulance and were trying to figure out who was gonna drive. After two rounds of rock paper scissors that ended in ties, we looked up and the patient was laughing her rear end off. She was under the impression that we both wanted to do the pt. care and were trying to decide who it was going to be. Needless to say we didn't change her perception of the incident..

[Eveninghorse]

Eveninghorse wrote:

While riding as a student I was trying to make a good impression with the medic. We get this "medical" call "fire on scene." As we arrive I start the patient assesment. PT's wife tells me that he seems to be lathargic and is slurring his speech. I overthink the situation, figure I don't need to start with a SAMPLE history and cut right to the chase(idiot)... Cincinatti stroke scale... slurred speech, I check his pupils and one seems to less reactive, I check for one sided weakness but he has trouble supporting both arms. Onset was less than an hour ago so I tell the medic that we should contact the hospital 'cause we have a great candidate for thrombolitic therapy.

Medic checks blood glucose... 65 ... history of diabetes... "why don't we just give him some sugar." Embarassed

So... every call... B.S.I., scene safety,etc. right down the list.

LMAO.....I hope they never let you hear the end of that one. Wink

Still asks me if I was in the "special" class.

[Eveninghorse]

LMAO.....I hope they never let you hear the end of that one. Wink

Still asks me if I was in the "special" class.

Actually... he taught me and now thinks I am an idiot. Only time will tell if I can prove otherwise.

Since then my ride alongs have been very productive.

Hope I can dig myself out of that one.

[dreid72]

I'm sorry but there is something worse than having to call your mates for an injury you've got.... and that's being a trauma call in an ER you regularly take patients too....

The thought of that they can do to me lying immobilised, prodded (think clamp down on my finger) and the places they can stick things fills me with dread.

I can just imagine the nursing and medical staff ... 'and this one's for the drunk the other night' etc etc...

You get the picture I'm sure.... :roll:

[texasemt]

OK... here is mine... well, my partners.

Got a call for PT not breathing... family doing CPR upon arrival. Paramedic on scene of course worked up everything and gave me the look of "this one is long gone." We worked the PT for a bit and loaded them into the box. Police officer on scene asked where the family could go, or call, to find out the PT status. My partner was having a bad day and really didn't want to be bothered by questions while working the PT. He looked at the cop on scene and told them just to "Call the morgue!!" Well, of course he said it loud enough for the PTs family to hear. They start yelling, crying and the whole bit. Daughter of the PT faints right there in the parking lot. Good thing we had the backup ambulance there at the time.

I never let my partner live that one down! :sign3:

[emskp1]

On a transport to a childrens trauma center, I had a 11 y.o male. He had a subarachnoid bleed from a bicycle accident (yes, not wearing helmet).

The story from the ED was his C-spine was cleared and he was taken off the board and collar. Once this was done the kid began having seizures. He was rushed to the CT where bleed was found. Kid got Ativan, and transport was called.

When I arrived, kid had collar on and was on board. I noticed the kid was coming out of the Ativan, began moaning and so forth. All of a sudden I heard one of the nurses call out, before we transport him we need to foley cath him.

I looked at my partner and said to him, "The moment they go to put the cath in he is going to kick them in the head."

Sure enough once they tried he was fighting everyone off and stating I have to go to the bathroom (over and over and over again) :roll: ....He was complaining he was uncomfortable on the board. MD and RN stated he can come off board his c-spine cleared. (I knew that Trauma Center wanted him on a board fought for it, besides it would've restrained him a little, but lost).

As soon as he was taken off board, kid began trying to sit up. Well, my pressure blew, with staff and parents waiting outside curtain I say in a very loud voice "If you try and sit up again you could die.".

Oh did I get the look of death from the entire staff. I apologized to all staff and family for my inappropriate comment, and still was brought into the office for a talking to.

My win on this was when the trauma surgeon looked at me and asked my why this kid wasn't on a long board. I looked at here and said "Ask the nurse."

[amraam840]

I was sitting at home for this one and almost had to call squad myself for injuries involving a shishkabob skewer as a result of ROFLing too close to our BBQ command...

Dispatch: (tones) ***** City **96 Please respond to the **** Block of Taffey Court to a female pt......... to a female pt c/o stray cat bite to the head.... (hissing and spitting heard in dispatch background) (more tones) ***** City **96...... (Uncontrollable laughter) Please (still laughing) respond to Taffey Ct.......... (hissing and giggles) to a pt......... to a pt c/o (again laughing uncontrollably throughout) a cat bite to the head. ***** County (can't stop laughing) 2043.

Someone else in the county: Meow!

So you know, Taffey Ct has a lot of our frequent flyers and it seems every so often they come up with a new way to try to get into our drug bag. This scenario didn't work.. Also, another dispatcher was behind the one giving the call doing the hissing and spitting while the rest of the office there was wailing. It is as of yet unknown who keyed up and meowed...

[smalls]

Is it gutter brain bad of me that I spent about 15 seconds re-reading trying to figure out the sexual innuendo there before realizing there was none. Chest actually means chest, not boobs, and it's his, not hers. Ah, I have my moments.

Don't feel bad I did the same thing :oops:

[kitkat]

I was at a call, just the "gopher", as my partner had the student that day, our Medical Supervisor shows up..... super guy, but has a habit of saying "beautiful" in response to a story, comment, gesture etc. (beat saying *$%#@) anyways.... we have a 20something year old female, c/o CP. no cardiac Hx, but far too many key words to not do a 12 lead. She's a lovely healthy girl in the mammary department, and seeing that I am the only female in the room, I offer to assist her with the brazier. My MS is standing behind me, So, being female and having much experience (with my own mind you!!!!) I unlatch it very smoothly, at which my MS responds with "beautiful" I just about passed out, and had to leave the room for a moment of giggles, nobody else really knew what was going on, ( The student con't the call) but 2x's as funny as he didn't realize what he had said, as we are removing the pt., MS and I are walking down the hallway, (away from the pt. earshot) and told him what he said, he just about died of embarassment, and i never let him forget it!!!

thanks for this topic I can sooo relate to sooo many things( giggle)

I do have a few more for later!!!

[Arachne]

I can't be the only one to have said something generic like "Good luck" or "Hope you feel better" to hospice patients after you leave them at a nursing home/hospice floor.

And overheard on the radio:

EMT with a stutter: "We're going o-o-o-off a-a-at the Amy-Amy-Amy-Amy-Amy-Amy-Amy-Amy-Amy-Amy-Jeremy* Hospital"

Dispatcher: "That must be a big sign"

While transporting a respiratory distress patient, the EMT driving turned up the song with the chorus "Just Breathe" (I think it's by Alanis Morsette...) when it came on the radio. The medics in back were less than impressed.

*Changed for anonymity

EDIT: clarity