"Pun"demonium

[Richard B the EMT]

I once met the guy who created college "Cliff Notes". I asked him where he got such a great idea, and he answered, "Well, to make a long story short..."

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I'm told that the Harrah, Oklahoma, News once ran an article about the Falderal String Band, which was to entertain at an event. The story stated "These true sons of the Southwest have twanged their music all over Oklahoma and have been asked more than once to leave the state."

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Folk singer/Songwriter Oscar Brand once wrote a song (included in my guitar playing repertory) called "Remember the Horse", about the highway systems that "runs all over the United States and Canada, and it's pedestrians".

[Richard B the EMT]

News Item:

Unlicensed "Plastic Surgeon" being questioned for using the type silicon used to seal bathroom tiles, in "Butt lifts", instead of surgically approved silicon. Medical and legal authorities are trying to get to the bottom of this issue.

[Lone Star]

News Item:

Unlicensed "Plastic Surgeon" being questioned for using the type silicon used to seal bathroom tiles, in "Butt lifts", instead of surgically approved silicon. Medical and legal authorities are trying to get to the bottom of this issue.

Why do I get the distinct feeling that if he's found guilty, he's going to end up taking this one in the ass?

I'm sure that if he ends up drawing jail time out of it, he'll be the 'butt' of all the prison jokes.....

I'm guessing that he's 'behind' the times on the advances in cosmetic surgery practices.

I know! He never ASSumed that he'd get caught!

I'll bet that from now on, he makes sure that he's covered his butt!

[Richard B the EMT]

News item, and already covered in another string here on EMT City.

A woman in Florida was arrested for numerous offenses, after being involved in a car accident while shaving her "Privates". The article goes on to tell her new nicknames:

Internet punsters are celebrating Megan Barnes as Florida's "Pubic Enemy," others are chattering about her "razor sharp focus."

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In an unrelated news article, on a woman who gave birth in a taxi in the middle of the Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel, per WCBS-TV2(HD), the child, who's name is Jacob, due to being born in a taxi, is already nicknamed "Jay-Cab", after "tunneling into this world".

(Momma B is still groaning 2 hours after hearing those puns on the newscast!)

[Lone Star]

News item, and already covered in another string here on EMT City.

A woman in Florida was arrested for numerous offenses, after being involved in a car accident while shaving her "Privates". The article goes on to tell her new nicknames:

Having read some of the blog spots about this, I can't help but feel that most of them are just 'splitting hairs' over what the new 'official nickname' should be...

Do you think she read Howard Stern's book, "Private Parts"?

I guess that's one way to make a 'pubic spectacle' of yourself!

I wonder how fast she was driving....maybe Mach 3?

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In an unrelated news article, on a woman who gave birth in a taxi in the middle of the Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel, per WCBS-TV2(HD), the child, who's name is Jacob, due to being born in a taxi, is already nicknamed "Jay-Cab", after "tunneling into this world".

(Momma B is still groaning 2 hours after hearing those puns on the newscast!)

Ah yes, the eternal male struggle...we spend the first nine months of our life trying to get out, and the rest of our adult life trying to get back in!

[Richard B the EMT]

The bad Diva asked an attendee of her performance if he noticed how her voice had filled the hall.

He responded, "Yes, and I also saw a bunch of folks leaving to make room for it".

[Richard B the EMT]

You know Richard, when I see you CONDUCTING yourself in such a deLIGHTful fashion, I get a real CHARGE out of it!

WATT I'm trying to say is that I'm glad to see you've gotten your ALTERNATOR personality under control and have worked so dilligently to RECTIFIER the situation!

With the lack of participation by the CURRENT members of this forum, I'd hate to see this thread DIODE prematurely because of lack of participation.

After much thought, I decided we've CONNECTED. WIRE you disputing this? At least it has SPARKED conversation

[Lone Star]

Richard's buddy the fool, (no, not me...the 'other fool') was overheard bragging the other day:

"Last night, the ol' lady and I got into a huge fight. I had her on her knees by the time it was all over with! She kept saying things like 'Get out from under that bed and face this butt whoopin' like a man!' ".

[Richard B the EMT]

Richard's buddy the fool, (no, not me...the 'other fool') was overheard bragging the other day:

"Last night, the ol' lady and I got into a huge fight. I had her on her knees by the time it was all over with! She kept saying things like 'Get out from under that bed and face this butt whoopin' like a man!' ".

This is a Pun, because...?

[Richard B the EMT]

Overheard on the news:

"There is a massive street cave-in in the Bronx, we go now to the news-copter to fill us in".