Time Lines

[Richard B the EMT]

What is usually heard, just before the call to 9-1-1 is made?

"Hold my beer and watch me do this!"

The fool threw the clock out the window to see if he could make time fly.

He was arrested on the charge of trying to kill time.

His radical lawyer got him off, after proving the clock struck first.

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A guy came up to me with two large suitcases, put them down, and showed me a watch.

The watch had a built in GPS, count-up timer, count-down timer, compass, GMRS radio, heart rate monitor, text messaging ability, and a built in HD TV set.

I bought the watch, and the guy started walking away, leaving the two large suitcases.

Hey, Mac! You forgot your suitcases!

No, I didn't, those are the batteries!

[firedoc5]

What is usually heard, just before the call to 9-1-1 is made?

"Hold my beer and watch me do this!"

The fool threw the clock out the window to see if he could make time fly.

He was arrested on the charge of trying to kill time.

His radical lawyer got him off, after proving the clock struck first.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

A guy came up to me with two large suitcases, put them down, and showed me a watch.

The watch had a built in GPS, count-up timer, count-down timer, compass, GMRS radio, heart rate monitor, text messaging ability, and a built in HD TV set.

I bought the watch, and the guy started walking away, leaving the two large suitcases.

#-o =D>

[Richard B the EMT]

Even a stopped watch is correct twice a day.

[firedoc5]

The last thing a cajun says, " Awww, that gator ain't that big, I can get him in the in piroue (boat)."

[Richard B the EMT]

Actually, I was trying to do jokes on time, time pieces, and such, hence the title of "TIME Lines"?

Or is that for some other time?

Must be a time joke, after all, just not this time.

[firedoc5]

Actually, I was trying to do jokes on time, time pieces, and such, hence the title of "TIME Lines"?

Or is that for some other time?

Must be a time joke, after all, just not this time.

"What is usually heard, just before the call to 9-1-1 is made?

"Hold my beer and watch me do this!"

I know about what you were saying about time, I just had one similar to the one you started with. That's all.

Time drags, Time flies, There's got to be a happy medium sometime.

[Richard B the EMT]

I used to date her (a happy Medium) years ago, but that has been covered in a different string.

[firedoc5]

I used to date her (a happy Medium) years ago, but that has been covered in a different string.

I never could keep a "Happy Medium". I was always too slow.

[firedoc5]

This is half way a serious question. When time was first being measured, who and why did they select what is now the absolute time table that is accepted world wide?

[crotchitymedic1986]

What is heard in an Mississippi EMT's bedroom just before sex:

"Get off me daddy, you squishing my cigarettes"