JOY, NATURE'S BEST REMEDY

[WendyT]

(1) Minds are like parachutes, they only function when they are open.

(2)Why is it that when girls wear ski suits, they never ski, when they wear swim suits they never swim. But when they wear a wedding dress they mean business.

(3)The honey moon is over when she gets flabby, gabby and crabby (remember you took her for better or worse).

(4)The worry cow could have lived till now, if she'd only saved her breath. She feared the hay wouldnt last all day, so she choked herself to death.

(5)Nowadays some people are proud of a parking ticket-it proved they found a place to park.

(6) If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it would never have started with something called labor.

(7) I come before thy throne of grace, and throw myself upon my face. I know that I am but a worm, so step on me God and watch me squirm.

(8) Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along came faster rats.

(9) Of all the things I've lost, it's my mind I miss the most!

(10) Everytime I think about exercise, I lie down til the thought goes away.

(11) Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

(12) Age is NOT important-unless you're a cheese.

(13) You are getting old when, after you paint the town red, you need a long rest before you can give it a second coat.

(14) Since you've been gone, my diary makes pretty dull reading.

Does anybody else have some that we havent heard of yet?

These are from Erma Bombeck, very funny lady, may she RIP.