THE MONTH AFTER CHRISTMAS

[windsong]

Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I would taste,

At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store it was less a walk than a lumber. I remembered the marvelous meals I'd prepared;

The gravies and sauces and the beef nicely rare, The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,

And the way I'd never said, "None for me, please." As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt,

And prepared to do battle with dirt - - -I said to myself, as only I can,

"You can't spend another winter disguised as a man!" So - - -away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip, Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,

Till all the additional ounces have vanished, I won't have a cookie- -not even a lick.

I'll chew only on long celery sticks. I wont have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry, I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,

But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, life's no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Author unknown.

[courageheartx]

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[akflightmedic]

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I dont think so but thanks for playing. It is a funny poem and it is appropriately placed in the funny forum.

[chaser]

I can empathize until the "Get rid of the fruit cake" line...

Does anyone actually eat that??????