offtopic: Funny joke ;)

[Guest boygirls12]

timeoff, people! funny joke here ))

Girls vs boys.

Girls' English.

1.Yes = No.

2.No = Yes.

3.May-b = No.

4.It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

5.Do what u want = You'll pay 4 this later.

6.We need to talk" = I need to bitch.

7.Sure......Go ahead = I don't want you too.

8.I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, u stupid moron.

9.How much do u love me? = I did something today your not goin' like me 4.

10.Is my butt fat? = Tell me i'm beautiful.

11.You have to learn to communicate! = Just agree with me.

12.Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead.

Guy's English.

1.I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

2.I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

3.I'm tired = I'm tired.

4.Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

5.Can I take you to dinner? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

6.Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

7.May I have this dance? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

8.Nice dress = Nice cleavage.

9.You look tensed, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.

10.What's wrong? = What meaningless self inflicted pshychological trauma are you going through now?

11.What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

12.I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

13.I love you = Let's have sex right now.

14.I love you too = Okay i said it we'd better have sex now!

15.Let's talk = I am tryin' to impress you by shown that I'm a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me!

16.Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegel 4 you to have sex with other guys.

you like it?

[kyle308]

lol i like it...thats hilarious

[chaser]

you forgot one......

Girl:

FINE= I am so pis**d at you I can't talk now, but just wait....

[Michael]

Boy: I've got a problem. = How do I fix this?

Girl: I've got a problem. = I want you to make comforting noises like "Uh-huh, "Yeah," "Oh, that must be terrible," "Gosh, that must be awful," "Oh, dear," "They're so wrong and you're so right." Do not volunteer any solutions!

* * *

Boy: What should I do? = Tell me what you think I should do.

Girl: What should I do? = Ask me what I think I should do, and then agree with me.

* * *

Boy: Here's what I think you should do. = If you think this makes sense, try it out, and if it works, give me all the credit, and if it doesn't, you take all the blame because you hadn't given me the whole story, which if you had I would have told you to do the opposite, which would have worked, but now it's too late, so it's your fault, not mine, and now I can't help you anymore, too bad, you should have avoided the problem in the first place.

Girl: Here's what I think you should do. = Do what I say and don't argue with me. If it works, give me only a tiny bit of credit for reminding you of what you knew all along, and if it doesn't, well, that's fine too because it'll give us lots more to talk about!

Note to boys: There are no exceptions to these principles.*

Note to girls: There are always exceptions to these principles.**

*Girls can't handle absolute truths except those consisting of their own feelings.

**Boys don't understand the concept of exceptions unless it means they are getting off the hook for something.