The Mouthwash Riddle, SOLVED! (kinda gross, btw)

[Asysin2leads]

Today, I found the answer to a puzzle I had been trying to figure out for quite sometime now. Much of my job consists of dealing with skel, er I mean, street tra.., I mean, ummmm, let's see, we'll call them undomiciled urban outdoorspeople. The puzzle was when I would find them meditating on the sidewalk next to a bottle of half drunk mouthwash, such as Scope, or god help me, Listerine, and it always made me scratch my head. A quick trip to the pharmacy and then to the liquor store (purely for scientific reasons) confirmed my suspicion, a bottle of mouthwash is in fact more expensive than a cheap bottle of booze. So why in the wide, wide world of sports would you drink mouth wash if real booze is cheaper? These aren't stupid highschool kids who can't afford fake ID's, its not like you get more alcohol per dollar spent with the mouthwash, and its not like they have to sneak it past their wife and kids who are trying to get them to stop drinking and make their dumpster a happy home again. I was at a loss, though honestly I didn't mind them drinking mouthwash so much because it made them smell kind of minty, rather than that god awful smell of cheap booze that's prevelant with the vodka/paint thinner they drink.

Today while dealing with one of the said urban outdoorspeople, and their bottle of mouthwash, I shot my query over to one of the officers of the law on scene, and he finally solved this for me.

If you go into most liquor stores in urban areas, you'll notice the small pint sized bottles of liquor are kept behind the clerk behind the counter. There's a reason for this, so people don't treat themselves to a five fingered (or less, depending on the state of the urban outdoorsperson) discount with the easily pocketed bottles of booze, the larger bottles being much harder to rip off.

However, your local CVS usually doesn't have a problem with mouthwash theft, and its kept out in the open next to the Colgate and mentho-rub. The answer to the question to why you would drink mouthwash if booze is cheaper is because while its almost impossible to STEAL a bottle of booze, its a lot easier to rip off a bottle of Scope. If I'm the only person who has ever dealt with this situation and wondered what the heck is going on, then oh well, I know now and you just wasted 2 minutes of your life reading this that you can never get back, ever, but if you're an EMSer working the urban wasteland and you've come across a similar situation, now you know.

However, there are two minor mysteries that now arise. The aforementioned urban dweller had with her a bottle of generic mouthwash. I get it now, if you have the money from panhandling (yes, despite the claims on their signs and what they tell you, they spend it on booze), you can get your pint of booze, if you don't, you can rip off a bottle of mouthwash. However, the question is, if you are going to steal mouthwash, why steal a generic one? I mean, if its all the same, live it up a little and go for the name brand. The second mystery is while I have a good comprehension of the physiology and psychology of chemical addiction, how desperate are you to drink half a bottle of Listerine? I mean, good old fashioned, kill the germs, flush your radiator and polish coins Listerine? And again, if you are going to steal mouthwash, why not steal something good tasting? At least better than Listerine. Yeeeeesh I get the shakes.

[strippel]

At least she was minty fresh.

I haven't noticed that problem here, our few urban outdoorspersons still drink real alcohol.

When I was young (before I got rich working EMS), I worked security at a mall. Many times we caught, or took reports on people stealing Nyquil.

[evjm]

We've definetly got that problem here. Recently thought I've run into a few who drink Lysol! I thought mouthwash was bad enough! Oh and of course we have the paint huffers too, if they're not minty fresh they have gold noses :roll:

[fiznat]

A few weeks ago my service took care of someone who actually consumed the contents of a sterno can, in an attempt to stave off the DTs.... Can you imagine that?? *shudder*

In class the other day, our instructor told us that you can actually buy sterile drinking alochol in IV-bag form for these types of people. Not that we carry it (for obvious reasons), but its interesting nonetheless that the product actually exists. Imagine the possabilities!

[AZCEP]

I've had experiences on a nearby reservation of a similar ilk.

These people would consume anything and everything in search of a "buzz". No beer, try mouthwash. No mouthwash, try rubbing alcohol. No rubbing alcohol, try Windex. No Windex, try Drano.

It just gets sillier from there. Things like gasoline, lantern fuel, anything that has -hol in the ingredients list is up for grabs.

Amazing really that more haven't been fatal.

[medic429]

Asys...i am glad you have your mystery solved!

I've come across a few Robitussin fans here....no mouthwash yet.

[Michael]

anything that has -hol in the ingredients list is up for grabs.

Including the emergency services of that personable packing, moving, and storage company, U-Hol (or Eewww-Hol).

[evjm]

In class the other day, our instructor told us that you can actually buy sterile drinking alochol in IV-bag form for these types of people. Not that we carry it (for obvious reasons), but its interesting nonetheless that the product actually exists. Imagine the possabilities!

I'm not sure if it's the only use, but it is used for patients who drink antifreeze.

[hammerpcp]

Ethanol is used to treat methanol poisoning.

For the good of humankind in general I inform all my clientele to drink the "original" Listerine rather than the blue. Also, take precaution with Aqua Velva after shave, another crowd pleaser, because it also contains the possibly carcinogenic dye FD&C Blue 1.

Scope: 8.4 % alcohol by wt

Listerine: 26.9%

Patient educational handout

Oh, and don't forget to tell them that whatever they don't drink can be concentrated and used to either treat that pesky gonorrhea or to clean their floors.

You are welcome.

[Cookie]

It's not only the homeless who drink the mouthwash, it's the kids as well. Although I cannot imagine wanting to get my alcohol in mouthwash or nyquil form but they certainly are doing it. Our local law enforcement pulled a teen over who was driving irradicaly.

He failed the breathilizer, he had been drinking mouthwash and cough syrup.