windsong Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 I removed it because I see it wasnt ok when I thought it was ok, when I spoke to the funeral director about it he thought it was a nice jestor but now I see it's not. That's the thing when you offer condolences its an open and shut case, I think from now on when it says Condolences, I will do just that, tell them I'm sorry for your loss, God Bless and leave it at that. TY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Plain Ruff Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Thats a great poem but I have to ask one question. Do you send this poem to every person who has lost someone young or just selective few? I may be in a strange state of mind or have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed but sending poems like this to people you don't know strikes me as just a little bit creepy!!! I may be way off base but why are you looking at the obituaries and sending that poem to people? slam me guys if you think that I am wrong in what I wrote above but I am not sure how I'd react to getting a poem in the mail from someone I did not know. Windsong - You have have the good heart and outlook on things except for what I've said above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cure Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 A poem like this portrays the simple fact that anyone who has experienced this would never send it, or anything like it. People always want to gravitate to those in mourning and maybe they just want to be part of the drama, but I think it is very rude. It is a simple fact of life-death. We all know it and deal with it and move on. The good intentions of others ( however good and well intentioned) leave a burden on the survivor. A burden to bear everyone's uncomfortable jabs at trying to make something better or less painful than it ever can be. It makes you feel even more alienated and alone. The best thing you can say is nothing, sometimes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janmarie3 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 As I read the poem... I tried to put myself in the position of the person who had lost a child and then recieved this from a total stranger in the mail box...AFTER THE FACT.... that my child is gone. How ever many days after....I don't think I would have appriciated it at all. Especially knowng that someone had searched the obits to find out and then Id think...how did they get my addy? And then Id think whats next? More crap in the mail to remind me that I lost my child? Its a very delecate situation. Recieving support and comfort from close friends and family members is what they want....not from strangers. Imagine after loosing a child and a total stranger comes up to you and says, "Oh I just heard your kid died, and blah blah blah, and oh by the way....god only gave him to you for a little while and then decided to take him from you!" ....they are already asking the question why, blaming themselves or blaming god. Even though your heart may be in the right place....I don't think its a very cool thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windsong Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 Actually the funeral home puts it out and if you want to send CONDOLENCES thats how it goes. Dont get me wrong, it wasnt intentionally ment to remind them but to let them know I care. When my Dad passed away, we had someone from the mormon group send us a letter stating if we wanted them to come over and talk with us, when it stated the church in which we belong too. I wasnt going to say anything about this but you asked in a way you maynot know of, but Ruff when my son was still born and we had a funeral for him, I wanted to die right there, anything you could of said to me was like the wind blowing me by, I wouldnt of heard you, I wanted him to live and me dead, his father didnt care he left me. I am starting a new life and I can still have kids but not at my age, yes some of the women my age have had babies, I'm just not prepared too. I look in the Obits because sometimes we find relatives who passed and not always do we get a call from cousins on this and I also pray for the family who lost that dear soul. You're right I have good intentions but I also maynot think, I guess now I will beat myself up over this because I didnt mean to hurt them even further, I'm sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janmarie3 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Windsong....I know your heart is in the right place and if my comment sounded harsh I appoligize....my uncle lost his middle child in a car accident..my cousin was in his 20's and not much younger then me. But my uncle has a really hard time when my cousins birthday comes around, or holidays. And he usually deals with it by drinking himself to sleep. As a parent you always believe that you will go before your children do. To loose a child is devistating. And sometimes you just need to be alone to deal with your loss and not want anyone to keep dragging up the dreadful event. I remember at my cousins funural my uncle came up to me and yelled at me...saying to make sure I tell my parents what I wanted them to do when I die. I guess he had a hard time with his own decission of cremating him. But I always felt that my uncle thought it should have been me and not his son. Because us both being the middle child and quit the rowdy kids, getting into trouble alot. I think he wondered why God would take Clint and not me. He had a lot of Blame, Im sure he cursed God and thats why I mentioned that the poem...and its a heart felt poem...but it drags up that old blame of "why god?" Sometimes I try to put myself in someone elses shoes to try and see what they see. I just felt that I would not want a stranger sending me something to remind me I had lost my child because God took him away from me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMT City Administrator Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Original topic edited making the thread confusing. LOCKED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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