EMS Mysteries......

[tinman694]

Sarge---Thought you were on Hiatus!!!

Glad you did not go!

With our crew--why is it if we eat Chinese Take out...we work a code (Within 1 hour).

So far it is a 100% sure thing--over the past 3 years.

[rocket]

1) Obese and large patients are subjected by the size of the room or house. The larger the patient the smaller the room and hallway.

This works with vehicles too.

On the subject of MVA's, why does the patient with retrograde amnesia always "come around" the moment he gets into the ED?

patient "What happened to me?"

EMT "You were in a car accident."

(wait two minutes)

patient "What happened to me?"

EMT "You were in a car accident."

(wait two minutes)

patient "What happened to me?"

EMT "You were in a car accident."

(wait two minutes)

patient "What happened to me?"

EMT "You were in a car accident."

(Arrive at the ED)

ED Doctor "Do you remember what happened?"

patient "Oh yes! I was in a car accident!!"

#-o

-Trevor

[medik8]

LMAO....these are all good...funny and TRUE!

OK..

Why is it that every time I get in the shower, hair all soaped up...the tones go off..? :dontknow:

Why do patients have NO medical history...yet the family hands you a ziploc bag full of 98 pill bottles...?

OH...and Hammer...I SO agree with yours!!! I get so aggrivated about this...It's nice to know it happens to other people including ER Doc. LMAO. There is nothing more frustrating than the patient who denies chest pain all the way to the hospital and then you get there and sure enough....

Doc: Are you having any chest pain?

Patient: Yes...it hurts right here (points to substernal area)

Medik8: WTF?!!?? YOU TOLD ME NO CHEST PAIN! AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! :banghead: :violent1:

Doc: *slight smirk on his face...half amused...half feeling my pain*

xoxoxo

8

[temsp40]

6) Why do motorist forget which way left is, when pulling over?

Left?

Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong all these years, I thought they were supposed to pull to the right......

Why is it that when you send the FF or LEO to get the largest piece of equipment, with detailed instruction as to where this piece of equipment is, they end up searching through the entire ambulance to find it and end up finding EXACTLY where you told them it was?

[ERDoc]

Why is it that the less productive member of society you are, the more likely you are to survive a GSW/MVA/fall or other trauma?

Why is it that the pts that come in c/o pelvic pain/abnl vag bleed are the ones that never take a shower (did you seriously not think you were going to need a pelvic exam)?

Why do people call EMS/come to the ER if they don't want to do anything you tell them to get better?

How can Some Dude and This Guy be such good masters-of-disguise? They are single handedly responsible for millions of violent assaults and have yet to be caught.

Why is it that people have no clue that there is no cure for the common cold?

Why is it that people feel the word 'Emergency' in EMS and ER is optional?

Just a few points to ponder.

[SSG G-man]

Sarge---Thought you were on Hiatus!!!

Glad you did not go!

With our crew--why is it if we eat Chinese Take out...we work a code (Within 1 hour).

So far it is a 100% sure thing--over the past 3 years.

I was going to but some habits (addictions???) die hard!!!!

[TechMedic05]

I'm not sure if this is because of the area I work in, but I wonder why:

People call 911 because they can't breath, or chest pain [insert any serious chief complaint, really], and then, when asked which hospital to go to, they exclaim that they don't want to go!

And I wonder why they normally don't tell us that we'll need to beg and plead to get to go to the hospital to treat their pneumonia or CHF until after they're already on the stretcher and in the ambulance.

I dunno.

[AZCEP]

Why is it that the less productive member of society you are, the more likely you are to survive a GSW/MVA/fall or other trauma?

Why do people call EMS/come to the ER if they don't want to do anything you tell them to get better?

How can Some Dude and This Guy be such good masters-of-disguise? They are single handedly responsible for millions of violent assaults and have yet to be caught.

My guess, and it is only a guess is because you can't kill s%#t.

[temsp40]

it has already been mentioned that Some Dude and That Guy are responsible for assaults but......

Beware of The Other Guy, Those 2 Guys and The 2 Guys (yes, different from "Those 2 Guys") for they are inherently responsible for forced teenage drinking!

[buckeyedoc]

Why is it that people who code have just eaten some sort of pasta dinner?

Why is it that most of the S.O.B. calls we make are to homes of people who are on O2 @ 1 l/min with 100' of tubing and continue to smoke like a freight train?

Why is it that frequent flyers know more about the pain medications than ANY doctor alive and are allergic to all of the non-addicting ones?

Why is it that the 30 year old with a hang nail thinks comes in to the ER crying like a little bit*h and the little old lady comes in apologizing to you for "bothering you" and she is 1/2 a heartbeat away from coding?

Why is it that when parents bring in their kids with a 112 degree fever, they fail to have given then Tylenol and bit*h and moan when that's all we do and it works? Or they thermometer they used at home reads 110 degrees and when we take their kid's temp. it's 98.6?

------on a side note to this one, why is it so dang hard for people to read the old fashioned mercury thermometers? People are too dependent on technology.