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Ever Just Had A Patient You Wanted To ......


uglyEMT

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Ugly : If I had a dollar for every time a pt's story changed from our initial exam to when the nurses or Dr's ask the same questions, I'd be a millionaire.

Question: Have you ever had a problem with diabetes or history of it in your family?

Answer to us : NO!

Answer to nurse: Well i had the sugar once , but now i take these shots so I don't !

Question: Do you have any cardiac history? chest pain , shortness of breath?

Answer : No problems at all.

We happen to open shirt a few minutes later during exam to listen to lung sounds, and they have a neck to navel sternum split scar. when asked about the scar

PT:Oh that ! I had a five way CABG ten years ago.

Some Pt's just don't co-operate with us until you point out the reason for you doing so.

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Is your chief your senior, I mean is he much older than you? I have worked with medics that are younger than me but I get the more honest history I always attributed it to being older than them.

The mid sternum scar is almost a given that they will deny cardiac problems.

I had a patient last week that was taking Rifampin. I asked if he had TB, He denied until we get to the hospital. When the nurse asked what do you take Rifampin for he suddenly was being treated for TB. Go figure.

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Do you have any cardiac history? chest pain , shortness of breath?

Answer : No problems at all.

We happen to open shirt a few minutes later during exam to listen to lung sounds, and they have a neck to navel sternum split scar. when asked about the scar

PT:Oh that ! I had a five way CABG ten years ago

Seriously, went to a blok with a broken ankle once, says he fell off his motorcycle. Told me twice he was almost stopped when he put his foot out and slipped on gravel, bike fell on his leg and broke it. I believed him as he had hen gotten back on his bike and ridden back home, all his hgear was packed away so i didn't check the bike or protective gear for damage - the story was a good one. No other complaints or findings. Anyway, i get him to triage anbd the shit head changes his story to "Riding at 80km/hr and the rear end washed out and i put my foot down to steady myself but it fell on me, I then slid across the gravel road and hit a sapling and i have a sore back"

I could just about have hit him

Edited by BushyFromOz
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One of my favorite- and frequent- exchanges:

Have you had any alcohol tonight?

No- only some beer and gin and juice.

Or similarly-

Have you done any street drugs tonight?

No- only some blow and weed.

Or to the raging alcoholic who consumes a gallon of vodka a day, every day, with a liver the size of Texas-

Have you done anything besides drinking today?

No.

Any street drugs?

In a very offended voice: No way- that shit is no good for you!

We get paid to be entertained, folks. LOL

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