2wheelinemt Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 hello everyone as you can see i havent been around until just recently again..my family and i have gone through some very rough times. as a lot of you know i have been struggling with two most nasty diseases. they are lupus and its cousin sjogrens syndrome. the later i have never heard of but have become up and personnel with this disease. it starts out with the basic dry eyes and mouth. but you quickly realize that what you have isnt normal. you eyes feel like sand paper is in them and you cant swallow because your mouth is too dry. you feel like you have the worst flu ever with body aches through out only xs that by 5. you go from doc to doc with no one knowing what you have. finally if you are lucky enough you get a dx in about 3-5yrs after this disease comes into the fore front. then you read and read on what you have, and oh by the way there is no cure. your whole body that relies on any moisture is damaged. your tear ducks stop working,your salvia glands gone! your lungs,heart,kidneys and any other organ that need fluid is damaged. lupus is no better..same basic thing, body aches xs5,join pain,lungs,heart,kidneys,and 75% chance of getting lymphoma. no cure and most deadly by age 47..i have been hosp this year alone 2xs in icu for a heart rate of 20. fluid around my heart and lungs, your lungs and heart damaged each time an episode happens...chemo drugs to try and help keep it at bay..countless meds that amount to thousands of dollars every year. cant work a steady job, between the pain and never knowing what is going to set off an attack (called flares)makes even making family affairs impossible. i have missed my brothers weddings, christmas parties, etc. sleeping at night is out of the question, getting tired and needing to sleep right this minute is the norm but you can only sleep for 20 to 30 min and the pain wakes you up..i guess it worse with the two diseases together..your white blood cells think that there is something wrong and they need all there little buddies to come and fix it when really there is nothing wrong so your body is attacking itself. crazy i know! i have been truly blessed with the man that was put into my life some 23yrs ago. i dont know where i would be with out him but my docs all tell me how lucky i am because many marriages dont last when people have what i have..my poor husband never knows when that phone will ring to come to the hosp that im in icu and cant breath..i thank God everyday for him. and so my battle to try and live a half way normal life continues. heres to a cure! my latest struggle has been that my oldest son 20yrs old is struggling with a drug addiction. i knew never would have thought that this could have happened but isnt that always the way. he got addicted to all kinds of prescription drugs. he asked a doc that was running on his squad if he could give him something for his anxiety and the doc started writing for percocets 10s..he kept writing everytime my son asked..after a while he was hooked and then he branched out to other stuff because the docs partner found out and stopped him writing them but by them it was too late! for over 9months to a yr he tried everything oxys,cocain,ecstacy,percocets,morphine,vicoden. it is only by the grace of God he isnt in jail or dead. i have him back home and we are helping him through his recovery process. he stopped cold turkey and been off everything for over 9 months. he has relapse two times. both times stealing my meds i have and taking over $600 this last time to buy what he needed. we are 20thousand in the hole from him stealing our credit card and money from our account. i dont understand how my son could steal and put his parents in a money crisis never mind steal my meds i need for my illness. we had the meds hidden and he had to really tare the house apart to find them, but he did. i need all your prayers for him and for my husband and i to stay strong and see through his lies. i want so bad to believe my own son it hurts but i know when that craving starts for him he dont see parents..he sees a means to an end of his suffering. but it not only causes me physical pain it causes me mental and spiritual pain. i never would have imagined pain like this! my heart hurts that i cant help him thats what moms do they make everything better for their kids and i cant! i have him talking to someone that is certified in drug addiction and recovery from our church. i have such guilt that some how some where i didnt do something right..my daughter that is 11months younger then him helps me so very much. she stated to me that i raised her too and look how she turned out. that its nothing i did or didnt do it just something that he felt he wanted to do at the time and for what ever reason got himself hooked. my son says its nothing i did or didnt do but i would think he would say that no matter what. we have since made a packed that he would tell me the truth no matter what. there is nothing he could do to make me love him less and the worse is out so lets be honest no more lying. lets see how that works out. well i guess i rambled enough thanks to all who took the time to read this and keep my family in your prayers. 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Medic2891 Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 WOW, I am so sorry to hear about your trials and tribulations. I wish you the best of luck through it all, and know that you are in my thoughts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakemedic Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 We pray the Lord brings people around you to strengthen you in your weak times and to walk with you in your struggles. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers . Snake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticcare Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 2wheelie, you have thoughts for you and your family from down under also. I can empathise with your husband with a family being seriously ill with a condition that could be unpredictable *brother is immunodeficient* but supproting in the achievement of a normal life. never loose faith in the reality your son will recover, and sins and debts are repaid in various ways. Keep strong to your heart and soul that there is light, you will get through as will your children and your hubby. only an e-mail away matey, don't be scared to send out a message when you need a loopy pick' ya upper ok Love and blessings be to you and your kin Scotty 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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