:shock: Here's one practical joke you can use, BUT in only extreme conditions. BTW, all the names have been changed to protect the guilty...
I once worked for an ambulance service that was a small family owned business. The owner was a crusty old ex-Coast Guardsman and he raised two bratty sons in their late teens that never really had to work hard until daddy gave them jobs as ambulance crewmwn. Number-1 son, Eddie was a big kid with big floppy shoes and handsome as all get out. His new partner was only the third female EMT I had thus far seen in my short 4 year career (the year was 1977). One day the owner called all rigs to return to quarters for a meeting where he introduced the new female, a pretty little thing named Becky. The Old Man said, "I can't trust none of you horn-dog clowns to work 24s with Becky, so she'll only be allowed to work overnights with Eddie here." Eddie beamed with spoiled boy pride and snickered in our direction. Most of us were kinda pissed that the Old Man wouldn't trust us to keep our hands off Becky who was a married woman.
I was in early to grab a unit for an early morning regular transfer patient going to dialysis. I noticed only one bunk was slept in on the night before when Becky and Eddie were on duty. They were dispatched earlier that morning to a calland had obviously left in a hurry (the boss manned the radio at his home after hours). I vowed to put the crush to that smart-ass kid as soon as possible. Besides, I didn't care for Becky anyway because she was lazy and had a smart mouth on her. I don't think I ever got her to wash the unit or do anything other than the absolute minimum necessary whenever we worked together on the day car.
On my next early shift, I came prepared with a brand new condom and a plastic vial filled with raw egg white. Eddie and Becky were on an early transfer call and I knew the old man wouldn't be in quarters until 0730, so I hatched my plan...
I knew the Old Man started each and every day by taking a healthy piss in the crew's toilet. So, I dumped the egg yolk into the condom and let the goopy mess settle into the toilet. The time was 0615 and counting... Eddie and Becky would be out at least until 0845, so if everything went well, the Old Man would be greeted with a nice "floater" in the toilet. I'd let his southern boy imagination run wild from there. The condom floated tip down with a heavy load of runny egg white, bobbing in the toilet like a bloated whale.
Then things got busy. My partner and I were out the rest of the day, finally returning to quarters around 4 P.M. My buddy Danny ran up to my rig just as we parked and said, "Aw man, Vic, you missed this morning's fireworks!" He was almost out of breath and grinning from ear to ear, "You shoulda seen it! The old man had Eddie up against the wall with his hands around his neck, screaming "you little jerk! I trusted you with Becky and this is how you repay me??!!' " Danny blurted, "Eddie was all wide eyed and choked out, "Honest, dad, I was framed...I didn't do her...ugggghhhhh!!" Don, Bill and I just stood there watching the show. I almost laughed out loud, finally seeing that dumbass papa's boy get what was coming to him!"
I have to admit, I felt kinda bad for the kid. For about three seconds anyway. Sometime later, I noticed Becky's uniform shirt was stained. She was lactating and Eddie was soon to be a pappa. Becky's marriage broke up shortly before the baby was born when she finally broke down and told her husband that their child was actually Eddie's spawn.
It was the meanest, most prophetic practical joke I ever pulled on another guy. I created bad karma though. I was stuck with Becky as my partner after the Old Man found that bogus condom surprise. He told me, "You take care of Becky, Vic, you're the only man I can trust around here..."