All the given advice above is great. If you're not sure where to start, you're employer may have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Usually the personnel manager will have information on how to get in touch with them. You can also try contacting your dispatching center. They may be able to put you in touch with people in your area that do Post-traumatic Stress Debriefings. With either of these, you should be able to avoid any info getting back to your employer or your co-workers. I can sympathize with you, I just went through something similar myself. Rural volly squad with only 4 EMT's, the other 3 work days. A lot of the "frequent flyers" call during the day. At least I was able to take a break. It was hard to listen to my own department needing mutual aid, but it had to be done. Do what you have to do to keep yourself healthy mentally and physically. There are always other jobs out there, but only one of you. Don't let your job become your life.