Was dispatched for a bleeding call on the otherside of the city. OA we found a young women that complained in a thick accented voice that she has "a pulse". I could not resist and replied "well done Mam, you are still alive". Highly taken aback by my reply (within reason I suppose!) she said: "NO! I have a pulse!!" Getting a bit irritated I asked my partner, who speaks the local language, to translate. After long deliberation between the women and my partner it turned out that the women had PILES (Haemoroids)!! I have yet to convince my partner that the focused assessment he had to perform was truly acedemic and that he will thank me later!! It sure is nice being the senior crew...