You sound like its over. When i met my husband he was a firefighter. I was unsure, knowing if he would come home, or if i had to look out one morning or night for a car, but i had to realize that he had chosen this life, and i had fell in love with him not the career. He was a FF for 25 years retired. And because of him he got me into EMS 13 years ago. We know share something so special. Never give up, work together as a team. And i felt i was high maint,back then.