Chief1C

I love smoked cooper cheese. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.. Take it, dice it into 1x1's, slice that in lil pieces, take two slabs of ground venison, and put the cheese in between, slam them shut, grill and....OMFG

One ounce at a time, that's enough to put me to sleep. Lets all have a gathering... in Colorado.

Isn't Marijuana legal in Colorado?

Well, all bashing aside, the OP could have serious concerns. However, to explain to the OP when he or she received this response from us EMSer's.. It's likely, IMO, because if I had a problem with how local EMS was treating me, or a family member, I wouldn't go to a random EMS forum for advice. If you go to a governing body, and get no results; try a state level. If they're paid, then it won't be their First Aid Council; and likely if it's volunteer, it won't be either. Call the state EMS office, if that fails, contact the local media. Media loves to tear us a new one.

Except that, sometimes a new one needs to be torn. I guess going further, is there a reason that they have a problem with JUST you?

I could go for a wildfire, I just got new wildland boots. I lost one during a wicked fire last year, had to hike back out with a boot and a sock, then spend six hours picking thorns out of my foot praying (not really praying- more like hoping) it wouldn't get infected. I made someone drive back to the station to get me a bottle of betadine.

Trained for it, "pit crew high functioning cpr" however, we haven't had an arrest.. in a while. (I knocked on wood before I said that)

Windy, dry, cold, red flag conditions.

Down on the Pharm

Dentist gave me Oxycontin. So now, I can't sleep b/c I'm scratching my skin off, I'm so tired I will probably just faint before I can get to bed, when I decide I can fall asleep w/o itching.. and pissing is a problem. My bladder seems to be paralyzed

Other than that. I feel soooooooooooooooooo fricken stoned off my ass. It would normally cost, what $30 for a dime bag to feel this way. Sans itching, of course.

Empty pill bottles? ^ and that other stuff

I'm right handed, but have complete coordination with both hands. Almost complete. There's only two things that I cannot do perfectly with my left hand.. One of them is write.

*drowns in the puddle*

Starts looking up Iowa on Google Maps.

OMG! Didn't you ever see Children of the Corn?

They'll eat you!

testes, testes 1-2-3

I learned how to suture watching this dude's videos...and I'm actually pretty good at it. (Not on people who've requested EMS... People that call me up and say hey, name, you gotta come see what (drunken asshole) did, he needs stitched' up. And it's all well and good, till someone goes to the ER and the doc flips his shit b/c the patient came pre-stapled or sutured. In my defense, I never purchased a skin stapler - it came in a "module" that I bought on Rescue Essentials...and well... It WAS BEGGING for me to try it out. So I go all ditch surgeon and turn the back of any redneck truck into a back field operating theater. I buy betadine by the gallon jug.

Palpate, not probe.

...although, since it is abdominal trauma.

I'm gonna barf

#@!$

I wanna be the first reply on Page 50

Pants specific for lefties? Sounds like left-handedness is a disability.

After I hit him, then you can palpate his abdomen. Sounds fair to me.

Stuff it with rice, then eat it.

Only one way to find out.

I really want to hit you with a shovel.

Doesn't rice kill birds?