beating myself up

[emt3225]

I hear where you are coming from.....I just became a EMT CC about 6 months ago...My neighbor next door is a 95 yr old women..Never seen her before until January 28, 2006......I was getting ready for the EMS expo and i step outdoors to see the temp...All of a sudden this lady is waveing to me to come over that her friend can't breath...My pager goes off and i go to look realizing that it was for my neighbor...I grab my medical bag and run into the house...Only to find this 95yr old women sitting in her chair with her mouth wide open...She was already having agonal respiration's...3 of the neighbors were staring at me and telling me to please help her...My mind went completely blank and thank God 2 EMT's came into the house to help me...I didnt know what to do first...I know airway, breathing , and circulation...Everything was happening soo fast...I just said LETS GO...COME ON.....Soo we got her onto a stair chair and then out to the stretcher and into the bus...In the bus we bagged her and i was soo nervous that my hands wouldnt stop shaking...I was losing her very quickly...We are only 4 blocks from the hospital thank God...As soon as i got her through the ER doors she lost her pulse...Not to say she didnt make it..Everyday since January 28, 2005 i have to face the family..They see me come home and come over to ask more and more questions...I was soo upset for days about losing this women..I wanted to give it all up...I realized that i had someone life in my hands and couldnt save her..All i can say is not to give up.....We all make mistakes and hopefully it doesnt cost someone their life...Today i have become a stronger and more confident EMT CC then i was before...I go on calls now saying to myself nothing can be as bad as that call i had with the 95 yr old women with agonal respiration's....

[Punisher]

It's only a mistake if you keep doing it over and over and expect different results (which is actually also the definition of the behavior of crazy people ). The not being able to remember what to do happens to everyone- rookie and veteran alike. Just step back, take a deep breath and think for a second. All of us do it; the difference is that we veterans have learned to just not make it obvious. :wink: Good luck and keep your head up.

[Connie31079]

Hey lynard:

Listen darling, it's not only newbies who question and beat themselves up all the time! LOL!

Went to a cardiac arrest last night.....geez, I've been in EMS for the last 15 years, a paramedic for the last 8, well, here's what happened to me last night....

Typical arrest, gosh, how many of them have I done in my 15 years? Too many to count.....my partner last night was also a medic (thank God!!), he went for the tube, got it on the first try....I went for the line and the drugs.....got my line on the first shot, pushed epi IV, blew the vein.......

Went for the 2nd line, got it, pushed the atropine, blew the vein.....you see a pattern forming here??

I was so angry at myself, I could have spit!!

My partner went for a line, MISSED IT!......haha.......we're also pushing drugs down the tube by now, but our patient is rapidly filling up with drugs (fluid), and not willing to take anymore. Having to push some down the tube and bag it down with the BVM.....

In the end, we couldn't get another line......

So you see, even seasoned EMS'ers can screw up from time to time.......screwing up is a learning experience, so learn from it and move on.

Have a great day!

[Just Plain Ruff]

ok, heres another screw up, at the time of this incident I'd been a medic for 10 years from big huge services down to small 1 ambulance shops

32 year old female pregnant patient eclamptic - transfer from small hospital USA to big teaching hospital. She seizes half way thru the transfer, already had orders (precautionary) for valium if seized.

she did, I grabbed the valium and pushed 5 - seizure stopped, yet she stopped breathing

Get her to the hospital, she's breathing now

Get back the unit, my partner said, "Hey buddy, what did you give Morphine for?" You guessed it, I grabbed the wrong syringe.

Ran in told the doctor, he said no big deal, "I wondered why her pupils were pinpoint" He said it happens and at least I admitted it to him.

He was so cool that he even called my supervisor and explained that there was no harm done to the patient except give her a free high.

I was so distraught cause I thought I had hurt the baby.

I keep in touch with the mom and her baby. He's now 9 years old and smart as a tack.

[retired_medic61]

I beat up on myself all of the time on and off the truck. I am my own greatest critic. I know some medics who never beat up on themselves and think they are perfect...pretty freakin scary. A good medic is compelled to evaluate his/herself and the call and take what is learned and apply it to the future.