Happiness Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 As I have mentioned previously in posts our community is experiencing a high death rate. Most of these deaths are cancer, old age and just those things that happen in life. Since January of 2011 our islands have lost at least 30 people which works out to a funeral a week. I havent attended all of them but I have attended most of them, it just becomes depressing after awhile. I would like to share the Eulogy of Mrs. Faith T. She was a second generation of our community and she was one of the most respected people here. She taught our children and she taught us about children, if there was ever an advocate for the young or the old Faith was it. She was accepting of everyone, Faith’s Eulogy Thank you for the opportunity to speak on behalf of my family. Faith was our adopted mother and god mother to our boys – Ashwyn and Balan. We have been loved, by Faith and Jack for six year now. Vanita was welcomed first – as Faith’s doctor - during the first of Faith’s many “bumps in the road” with her health. Faith and Jack attended our wedding, giving us their full support. They believed that our love – and our growing family – was to be celebrated. Their acceptance was soul-filling, and, we believe, set the tone in the way Masset accepted out son and our marriage. Faith aided us in our transition and initiation into motherhood. After Ashwyn was born – I began taking him to the hospital to cheer Faith up, and after she left the hospital, she and Jack continued our visiting tradition by having us over every Friday morning for coffee, snacks, and a visit to their sea wall. As a new mother – I was struggling. I was away from my family, brain foggy from lack of sleep, and felt like I was stumbling in my new role. Faith was patient with me, and my questions. She lent me her ear, offered me pounds of Kleenex, and my favourite – told me stories. She had a way of telling stories about her life that helped me feel like I wasn’t alone in my struggles with motherhood and small town life. When I was axel-wrapped about Ashwyn learning to crawl in the mud in the Chown River, while he ate it, with no diaper or hat on – she would smile and tell me stories of her not so proud mothering moments, so that I would know – no one is perfect. My two favourite stories were: the one when she – just to get a moment to herself, attached Jeffery to a leash and tied him to the clothes-line so that he wouldn’t run away. She ran into the house to grab her cigarettes, and when she came back – he was gone. His clothes on the ground and the leash empty. She found him blocks away, naked, in a construction site, feet dangling in a huge hole. The other one was about Kirk, and she was so sleep deprived that she got him down to his diaper, turned on the TV, put Kirk into the playpen and pushed it against the TV – covered him in newspaper and slept for an hour. Then after she woke up, he was covered in newsprint – she gave him a bath, and he and she – slept for two more hours. Faith also told us stories of their struggles with small town life – and as we listened - we learned valuable lessons about how to love your community and learn to live with difference, heartache and pettiness and still smile and say hello. It was awe-inspiring the way she loved and respected people – no matter who they were, or what they had done. Had I not had Faith in my life during those first few years with Ashwyn – I know the adjustment to motherhood would have taken much longer. When Vanita and I decided to move our family back to Ontario – we were sacred to tell Faith and Jack – we were so worried they would be angry with us. As I told them about our decision – I cried – and Faith held my gaze and said: “This is the best decisions for Ashwyn. He needs his grandparents. You will always be family to us – no matter where you are.” And, so we are. Faiths’ commitment and devotion to her family – in all its configurations – was and still is ahead of its time, and inspirational. Over the years, Vanita and I have watched – with the heartache of adopted daughters, and the worry of health care professionals – as Faith’s body gave way around her. Vanita would often remark at how unfair it was for someone as amazing as Faith, who gave so much – was to be given a body that would not live like her soul did – actively and joyously. Despite our grief at her passing, we are relieved that her body is no longer suffering. When someone like Faith dies, there is a hole left in the world. There seems to be a monumental vacancy on this earth as a result of her passing. Like this world is a little harder to live in now that she is gone. I say this not to depress, but to acknowledge the rich and full life that Faith had here in Masset, and to acknowledge the huge, positive, loving impact she had in her love for Jack, her family, our family’s and your family’s life, and in the life of her beloved Masset community. So, what rushes in to fill the void left by such a force as Faith? Our memories of her, and the legacy that comes as a result of those memories. As we leave here today, I would like to ask you: How will you honour Faith’s legacy? Will you choose to: - Cultivate loving-kindness by accepting others – just as they are – OR – choose a new adventure? - Will you love someone thru’ thick and thin for 50 + years? - Will you have strangers’ for supper – just because they are in town visiting your friends? - Become an educator? - Will you become a champion of children – OR – welcome a child into your home and feed them or make a sandwich for a hungry child – and give it to them? - Perhaps, you’ll volunteer. - Will you speak only kind words about others OR, not say anything at all? - Maybe you’ll laugh or cackle – OR – pick something new to try like Tai Chi. - Practice acceptance, not just tolerance. - Not be afraid of pain. - Will you cultivate a listening ear? - Maybe you will become more patient, or plant a garden. - Will you play with your children, without distractions and build pride in your family? - Perhaps, you will love your community, or become a keeper and collector of local history and lore? - OR - Will you see our community and worlds’ children as suffering, scare, tender and worthy – not as troubles to be dealt with – and open your heart and home to them? After we leave here today, if we could all look at that hole I spoke of, jump into it bravely, and pull from it a commitment to do one thing, or approach a situation or a person, the way Faith did – we will all be honouring her legacy. We will all rest a little easier, knowing we have honoured her memory – and, are continuing, as she did, to make this world a little easier to live in – one leap of “Faith” at a time. Thank you. So now that you have read this please be aware that woman that wrote this is a lesbian, in a committed relationship with an awsome Dr. and has given birth to 2 beautiful boys. When this service was over I went over to her and said "I want to tell you that I have to admire you both in the ability to be able to show true love to eachother" as through out getting ready for the service these two touched each other, hugged, and called each other honey and dear. In the Forums lately I have noticed alot of bashing of some sort to some people who are different. It takes people like Faith to show us how to be accepting of others, I was lucky to learn this while she was alive and I hope those who read this will take something from it or take part in the little challange that was brought forward. RIP Faith I know you are looking down at us all with that smile of yours. 1
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