Essential vocabulary for workplace

[WANTYNU]

Essential vocabulary

additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!

1. BLAMESTORMING:

Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed,

and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A

manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process

by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the

boss rather than working hard

4. SALMON DAY: The

experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die

in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office

filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When

someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up

over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The

on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single

Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have

children and one of them stops working to stay home with the

kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A

person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or

credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from

extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY:

Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: 1:

Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to

stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE

MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it

to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The

rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions

that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to

the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's

clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning

that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA: Features

of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as

fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That

minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

(Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS: Well-Off

Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING:

Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Albert Einstein,

Be Safe,

WANTYNU

[Richard B the EMT]

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Albert Einstein

Reality: what a concept!

Robin Williams?

[WANTYNU]

Robin Williams?

Naw it must have been a conditions boss out of da Bronx....

-w

[Richard B the EMT]

...Or Station 4 in Manhattan?