bbbrammer

Probably suicide/OD, after that its CP or SOB, then probably DOA since everyone waits until the last minute to call us when they have had an active lower GI bleed for the last 16 hours.

Darker text color would be nice. I got a neck and headache tryuing to read it. but other than that, Funny valid stuff.

Try high-lighting the text like you are going to copy it or something, that makes it easier.

Awesome, I should print out copies to drop off at the ER's. They would love it because it is so true.

the rural service I work for provides the uniform tee-shirts, all else is up to the emt.

We have one truck to cover about 350 sq mi of service area-fully half of the county. All of it but about 6 blocks by 9 blocks is dirt road rural.

all of our fire dept.'s around here are volunteer, and they don't have a probationary period-I think they are just happy someone is willing to do all the work without being paid for it.

Any of our closest hospitals are at best either 30miles or 30minutes away depending on which one we go to and how we get there. Most of our transports run from 30 to 45mins, and that is running hot at 90mph. Needless to say, any of the 14 hospitals we run to are a little too far for emergency patients. Luckily mediflight responds pretty quickly, but it is still a long way out here.

I am always scouting for good EMS t-shirts since there aren't very many out there. I am starting to collect the best one-liners that I can find, but this one is the best I have seen:

"EMT's come when people go down"

What's the best line you've seen?

1) If you say "slow" or "quiet" you will run all day

2) If you don't take a nap, you will run all night

3) Turning on the shower or taking off your shoes tells the pager gods to call you

4) You will get a call 10 minutes before you are supposed to meet someone

5) If you wait to clean your truck until you get to the station, you will get called before you make it back

6) What you don't restock on your truck you will need on the next call

7) If you don't know where something is, you will need it on the next call

8) If you wash your truck, your next call will be on a dirt road or it will rain

9) Don't plan on sleeping-that guarantees that you won't

10) There really are shit-magnets out there, and you will probably be working with them next shift

I honestly hope people don't find any of these funny. If it's not an out and out assault (as mentioned by Rich), it could be construed as hostile work environment/sexual harrassment and would open you and your organization up to a whole laundry list of problems.

If any of my staff tried anything mentioned here they'd be terminated on the spot.

I realize that, as this is a high stress job, some stress relief is important. On the job, at the station, in the truck is not the place to do it. Relieve the stress at home. You want to be considered a professional? Act as a professional because you never know who's looking.

OH GROW UP! I would say that if any of your "STAFF" tried these practical jokes then they aren't any kind of professional that YOU hired and you should probably try hire 'more professional' people next time. Don't come down on stressed out people for flaunting with practical joke ideas or reading about them. I would never pull any of them but I still think they funny as hell to read about.

its rural ems:

when you spend 36 hours at work and the most work you did was getting up in the morning

when EMT-B's do ALS

when a pilllow and a blanket is standard equipment in the back for transporting patients

when you go down the main street of the town the whole town shuts down and follows you to watch

when your patient remembers changing your diapers