kevbutnobacon

I agree with two or three of your droll (?) details.

A) A womans heart certainly beats faster when I am around.

A Woman blinks more. Again this is true. The little temptresses do tend to flutter their alluring eyes at me teasingly in a luring coquettish manner. The little minx do try to lead me on.

C) Modesty and common decency forbids me from making a comment on the size of my manhood. However, I have never had any complaints in the trouser department if you know what I mean, eh ?

Sadly not all men can claim to have such a profound effect on the biology and workings of the female body as I.

I once drank 5 gallons of milk in an hour.

Congratulations my dear fellow. All my life I have lived in the hope that one day somebody would break the 4 gallon barrier and create a new world record !

Mankind has produced yet another super human.

Darwin, Gallileo, Newton, Einstien and Hawkins have been eclipsed by you, you big old genius you.

Can a mans hair turn white over night due to fear ?

Can a man be so consumed with terror that his locks fade to grey before the morning arrives ?

It is a debatable subject and one I can finally claim to have witnessed.

Like everyone I have heard far fetched tales on this emotive and questionable topic and I have always discounted it as mere piffle.

Last week a man was lost on the remote moors near where I reside. All of the emergency services searched for him to no avail. I by chance discovered him the following morning, hanging from a thin branch above a steep craggy abyss. The poor petrified creature had been hanging all night by his finger tips, in fear of his very life.

Although a young man his hair had turned white through fright during the night.

Let's also not forget that we sort of beat the Brits to gain Independence.

We also I believe won the war of 1812

We helped with our tax money to rebuild Europe after two world wars.

So your cavalier attitude of the brits better than us, go peddle it to someone else. Not gonna fly here.

Allow me the privillage to reply to your wildly absurd rant.

1) Firstly the matter of independence, you didnt beat us. History shows that we graciously allowed you your freedom on account of your questionable loyalty and fighting ability against the French, and for your skill and panache for killing native Americans.

2) The war of 1812 is a minor triffling affair and is not even recorded as a proper war such as was fought against real opponants such as the noble brave Frenchies or Spanish.

Twas little more than a piffling border dispute with a minor nation.

3) Some people crueler than I may question the USA very late entry into both world wars.

I however do not wish to dwell on accusations of cowardice.

Suffice to say, thanks very much for the money. You saved us all from starving and freezing to death. Good on you ! Could we have a bit more ?

4) I have never once insulted or poo pooed the ability of American Paramedics. Far from it. They are the envy of the uncivilised world. I have only questioned the moral and ethical traits of the individual concerned.

I am aghast with shock and indignation ! Am I alone in thinking that the very fact you even considered taping a purile American sit-com before going on a priority detail showed a gross lack of proffessional , moral and ethical responsibility ?

I will not recant my original statement regarding your actions.

What is more my colonial cousin ! In England Ambulance Services are run with military precision. Between jobs we do not lark about watching television. We are given a myriad of duties, ie cleaning vehicles,cleaning the Station,checking stocks etc,etc.

In England we have no time for slacking !

I can only assume your indignation has been caused by the guilt that my wise words have provoked.

1) When I got paged out both times on the final MASH episode, I could either run and do the call, or take the time to set up the VCR and be late for the call, which would have gotten me into trouble.

2) I don't think TIVO was yet invented.

3) It took me 4 years later, but I finally saw the entire show, on a regularly scheduled day off, so nobody was going to page me. I took the phone off the hook, too!

Your lack of proffessionalism and compassion is to your ever lasting shame.

In the name of god, is a human beings life of less importance to you than learing over Hot Lips (or maybe even Hawkeye ? whatever floats your boat Sailor !)

Hang your vapid head in disgrace.

Yes finally done. Passed NR CBT and Skills first attempt and did them back to back days. Just think how opinionated I was as an Intermediate, is this site big enough for me as a Paramedic? <img alt="devilish.gif" />

I'll tell you this much - you ever show up to my station drunk, stoned, or otherwise impaired, I'll send you home and if there isn't a legal reason for it you'll be without a job. Period, end of story. Yes, we drug test. Without notice. You're positive, you're gone. No working on pain meds - if you're on 'em for a legit reason, you're temp reassigned. We have a good safety record for a reason. I don't want to work with an impaired partner. That's my life and my patient's life at risk. I think you are asking for trouble by 1 admitting on a public forum that you use weed (it's not that hard to find out someone's identity, especially if someone in your area gets on here to see it) and 2 working at any point after using it. That's nothing but stupidity and irresponsible. If you want to do drugs of any sort, please do us all a favor and get off the stuff or find a new profession !

Hey man take a chill pill !

The use of hard drugs is positively encouraged here in good old England.

All Emergency workers are issued amphetemines by management at the start of all shifts.

They lead to hightened awareness and acute sensitivity. They also assist us to drive faster and ignore the danger, and to keep us awake during the wee small hours.

If we need to chill out after a particularly harrowing night we are offered a wide range of recreational drugs, ie LSD, STP, Dope,etc to assist us to unwind.

In all my long years I have never seen any ill effects to the mental wellbeing of staff due to this of this liberal and benign practice.

I feel you Americans should loosen up and adopt the forward thinking practices that we enjoy.

I have a question that has been nagging at me for a few weeks now...

70 y/o male with a history of IDDM.

Family calls stating that they talked to 'dad' on the phone 5 hrs past and that he seemed to be listening on the phone, but only made slurring, gurgling sounds in response to questions. After finishing their morning soaps, or whatever, they decided to go and check on him and find him unresponsive.

Upon my arrival I find the pt with eyes open/tracking slowly, snoring respirations, unable to speak. Another medic that has run on him regularly and recognizes the dispatched address calls to tell me that she transported him yesterday with a BGL of 480 (per hospital labs) and that he normally becomes hypoglycemic with a BGL below 80. She states that he will refuse transport when normal mentation is restored.

BGL now shows 72, all physiological markers make me comfortable that, at least partially, this is a hypoglycemic episode. Family verifies that he will refuse transport if 'woked up.'

My decision was to adjust his airway/suction which restored a patent airway, remove to my ambulance and deliver D50, slowly, enroute to the hospital. (Approx 5 min transport.)

I chose to remove this pt's ability to refuse, (or did I?) understanding that that would likely have been his decision based on these factors;

1. He had no support system at home. And that of his family was worse than unreliable.

2. He is obviously having life threatening issues in regards to controlling his IDDM.

3. This was his second life threatening crisis in two days, in fact I believe 4-5 in the last 10 days, despite having the County monitoring his "health and welfare."

4. The study I mentioned in another thread has convinced me that perhaps he is not normally mentating, despite appearances, when choosing to refuse.

5) My 'intent' was purely pt advocacy related without elements of 'not running him again today', 'lawsuit avoidance', etc.

So my questions...

1) Did I violate this persons 'right to refuse' by withholding necessary interventions until leaving his home?

2) Despite being in the best interest of my pt, was this an unethical/immoral thing to do?

And please, while telling me what a terrible medic I am, take a moment to justify your alternate decision(s).

Have a great day all.

Dwayne

LOOK son, If a patient dont wanna travel to, or stay in Hospital ! They dont !

What the patient says goes. It matters not one jot if their loopy or living in a shit hole.

The law and their human rights dictate they alone have the choice --unless they have been sectioned under the Mental health act by a psychiatric Doctor or the Police if they are in a public place and a danger to others.

If they still refuse the Police will force them.

So laddie remember. Keep the sentimental compassion to yourself and do what the patient wants. Which in this case is leave him the hell alone !

Allow a humble Englishman like myself to offer you words of wisdom and encouragement.

Your age and weak back need not be a worry or problem for you to become a Paramedic.

After hours of toil during the twilight hours, blessed slumber will consume your body upon placing into bed.

Despite being elderly and grossely unfit and possibly obese ? I feel the physical demands upon lifting over weight Americans will whip you into a fine physicaly fit adonis. On the plus side matey boy when you are fit and strong just imagine all the nurses you will be able to pull.

A whole new world of sexual adventures await you my lucky American chum !

Take it from me son, its common. Oh yes dead common !

Brudzinskis signs once seen never forgotten. Sounds to me that your test was unsuccesssful because the flexion was not great enough to illicit a response.

Sadly if such a cavalier practice was introduced into the civilised world it may indeed result in the embarrassing and untimely deaths of a few Paramedics.

However, this would be a small price to pay if response times were improved substantialy.

Please provide a link. Going several hundred feet in seconds on a skate board would lead to dead Paramedics.

My dear boy, you really do need to get out more.

I found your amusing (?) heart warming tale a little twee and vomit inducing.

Welcome my Cod chewing friend. Anyone from the land that summer forgot is OK by me !

Many years ago whilst visiting the upper Andes of Peru I had the pleasure of observing the Peruvian Ambulance Service. Although their simple methods and practices may have seemed antiquated and quaint in comparison to my advanced English ways , I was impressed with one aspect of their service.

Response times ! Yes dear chums, their responce times are the envy of the world !

Why ?

Every Peruvian Paramedic is supplied with a skate Board. In the harsh mountainous terrain of the Andes the quickest way of responding to an emergancy at the foot of a steep slope is on a skate Board.

Villages that are hundreds of feet below can be reached in a matter of seconds by skate Board !

Sadly emergencies up the mountains are somewhat slower. Very much slower in fact.

To be truthful and brutely honest an emergency several thousand feet up the mountain can take days to respond to instead of seconds, and in these cases a Skate Board is of little use.

So in future before you scoff at the primative ways of third world medical responders, just remember their response times are far superior to your own.

On the evening of 14 June 2006, John Thomas a retired pig farmer, was sat on the verandah of his remote country cottage gazing with awe and wonder at the star studded skies above.

John was a simple man who had never married. Now retired from the dizzy world of pig farming he spent his days studying his extensive collection of Victorian pornography and his nights studying the heavens awaiting the visitation of Aliens.

As he sat clutching his telescope on this particular evening, he noticed to his amazement strange blue lights flashing distantly across the fields.

Putting his fears aside, he boldly ventured forth in order to confront and greet the galactic visitors.

John reached the strange craft with its throbbing blue lights.

He bravely beat his fists on the side of the craft and demanded " In the name of mankind I bid you welcome to Earth ! Show yourselves oh Space man !"

A door opened and a strangely familiar human head appeared " Bugger off ! Im having a cup of tea you crazy old fool !"

Fearing for his life John obeyed the commands of the visitor from a different dimension.

The following day John reported his encounter with an Alien to the Police.

The Police cautioned him for wasting their time and being a public nuisance.

Once again the Authorities attempted to cover up another story of a real life Alien encounter !

Its a conspiracy maaaaaaaaannn !

Ponder upon this my dear chums.

Why do those silly sods who attempt to kill themselves by driving their cars into a tree or another inanimate object always invariably wear a safety belt ? And you have to cut the bloody thing off before you extricate them.

Also, when you pick up some wailing cretin who has taken a paracetamol overdose, why do they always insist upon you putting a safety belt around them before you head off to Hospital ?

Suicide attempts my arse !