Morale Droppers

[CityGirl]

Thanks to everyone for their input!! I have taken mental notes of how the negative people act, and its something that I think will stick with me forever....what kind of EMT I don't ever want to turn into. I remember in my very first criminal justice class in college, over 10 years ago, my teacher telling us the story of his first day on duty. He pulled someone over for speeding, and had what he called "new and jerky" mentality, and after giving the guy he pulled over a lecture about speeding he saw a piece of paper in the guy's passenger seat. It was a death certificate; the guys wife had just passed away. My teacher said that moment in his life changed his entire outlook on his job, and how he lived his life in general. That has also stuck with me. I grew up in a huge city....a dirty city, a crime filled city, and no matter what that is home. That's what's shaped me. While I don't set out every day with a bad attitude and the feeling that the world owes me because I grew up in a rough area....I'm no small town farm girl. I don't fit in here for that reason, and people have made that fact known. That part doesn't bother me....it just bothers me that these people have been given the opportunity of a lifetime in this county, by working full time for this county, and they take advantage of it. There aren't many jobs to speak of in this county, and these people just blatantly take advantage of it. Its sickening.

This area also has the 'good ol' boy' mentality to an extreme. The fields I'm trained in, excell in, and want to continue working in around here are very....male dominated jobs. To the point where the men don't feel women deserve a place in these fields. Things like that are pretty well non-existant back home, so it really came as a shock to me when it was all thrown in my face (and continues to be thrown in my face 2 years later.) At this point I'm thinking I not only need a different crew to run with....I might just need to pick a new state and start over again.

Again, thanks to everyone for your advice. I appreciate it. I don't want to overthink this decision, but at the same time I am so drained by the negativity at the station and in the ambulances that it's time to build a bridge and get over it lol.