Why Parents Drink

[Brady]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed

was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope

propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to Dad. With the

worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the

letter:

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to

elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and

you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I

knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos,

tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But

it's not only the passion. Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be

very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for

the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has

opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll

be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live

nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science

will fin d a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't

worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure

that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your

grandchildren.

Love, your son John

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just

wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report

card. That's in my center desk drawer.

I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

[Jeepluv77]

This is exactly why my kids(3 boys) are not allowed to become teenagers! If they do, they are going to a monastery!

[itku2er]

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